Today is the ninth anniversary of my wedding to my child bride, Brenda.
So far so good.

Had to call and schedule the plumber because there is water leaking from behind the wall in the bathroom. No access means he'll have to take down a wall to fix the problem.
Not so good.

Went outside to put the girls on their respective buses and wondered, "Where's my car?" Yes, stolen during the night.
Becoming depressed.

Phoned the police to report it stolen and they called back within 20 minutes to say they had found it already. I don't have Lojack or any other tracking device so I was very surprised. Didn't know yet whether or not to be pleasantly surprised. Seems the car was abandoned in front of someone's house twenty miles from my house and was blocking his driveway, prompting him to call the police. Someone there connected the dots that it was my car reported stolen earlier. The police gave me the location and told me to meet them there. They had not seen it yet themselves.
Maybe a silver lining?

Called bosses, got my wife to drive us out there (her car not stolen, just mine), all the time wondering if it was still driveable. Phoned the police from the car to tell them I was ten minutes away and they suggested I call a tow truck. Otherwise they would tow it to impound and that would cost me more. So much for the question of driveability.
Silver lining tarnished.

Got there and had to laugh. Several pieces of my car were missing but had been replaced by similar (albeit dented) pieces. I assume this was done so as not to attract police attention while they abandoned my car. Driving a car with no hood or fenders is probably a bad idea. They also stole my front bumper and the radio with CD player and broke the steering wheel column cover to start it, I guess. No contents of the car were taken, just personal, valueless stuff. My wife was a little offended that the thieves thought so little of her taste in music that they didn't steal her CD's. Engine started just fine so no pieces of that were missing but it was considered undriveable because everything outside of the engine was missing. Original tires were still there. Insurance was hassle-free.
Light at end of tunnel.

My wife and I just tried to keep it in perspective. No one was harmed. Insurance will replace car (I hope, hate to deal with the car being "totalled"). I think we can laugh about the absurdity of it all.

Happy Anniversary, Brenda! I love you and try hard to top this next year!
God, I know the plumber's gonna find Jimmy Hoffa behind that wall.


Five Replies to Some Anniversaries Are More Memorable Than Others

Amy Austin | November 7, 2007
Geez, Steve... happy frickin' anniversary! (And I'm so sorry, since sometimes I feel like I'm contagious!!!)

Good luck on uncovering Jimmy... that should be worth *something* -- a temporary celebrity status and possibly your own goo anyway! ;-)

I was wondering where my daily dose of Steve went or why it was so late... come tonight, I would have been having some major withdrawal! ;-D

Scott Hardie | November 7, 2007
That's a wise and level-headed perspective to keep, Steve. I am not as wise and level-headed as you are. :-) Congrats on the anniversary and on things turning out ok.

Steve West | November 7, 2007
Thanks for the kind words from both of you. If I don't laugh I swear I'd just shoot the neighbor's dog or something. I'm just pissed about my wife's CD's still being there, too. That damn .38 Special one is driving me crazy.

Amy Austin | November 7, 2007
LOL!!! I can't blame you there!

Aaron Shurtleff | November 8, 2007
That's horrible, man, but at least you have a good attitude on the whole thing! I'd be a mess. :)

I imagine the thieves probably considering stealing the CDs, then decided it would be more cruel to leave them. :D


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Mother's Day Gifts

As an honor to Brenda, we got her some plants for the house and lawn. Nice plants. All now dead from neglect. Go »

Early Valentine Gift

Brenda woke up Saturday morning and said, "I just dreamed that you gave me a beautiful necklace for Valentine's Day. What do you think it means?" I told her, "You'll know tonight." Go »

Half-time

At about the halfway mark between Halloween and Christmas, I ran across this gift idea suitable for both holidays. Zombie lawn sculpture. Dave Barry included this in his annual gift guide and I found the original source for it. Go »

Halloween Post #1: Too Early For Halloween?

Yes, it's too early for Halloween. However, if you plan to order or make a Go »

How Many Strange Businesses Can One Little Town Have?

Bowie is just a hole-in-the-wall kinda town but it's full of proud residents. I like it a lot. But man, we've got quite a few odd businesses. Go »

Christmas Post #17: Gadgets &Stuff

Cool collection of unusual stuff that would make memorable gifts. I swear I'd love to get my wife that toaster but I've heard too many horror stories of what happens to husbands who purchase appliances for their wives for Christmas. Think I'll wait for Valentine's Day. Go »