Stay-cation Week V | Tragic Comedy

My God, bowling has gotten expensive. Sorry to speak of the costs of things so much but hey, this is a getting a little ridiculous. One game cost me $17.00. $17.00 and I don't get to take anything home with me. Sure it was fun but for that kind of money I want a case of scotch to go with it! Three games for the four of us would have cost $40.00 not counting the shoe rental, but Olivia was done after one. We came home after the one game which took an hour because of Olivia's slow play. She's still at that legs spread, two-handed pendulum kick start stage of bowling. Lauren was so proud of herself for getting a better score than Brenda did and Brenda tried to use the excuse of the girls taking advantage of the gutter bumpers. I told her the bumpers were there for her too, so she could have used them. She threatened to put a certain part of my anatomy in the ball polisher, if you know what I'm saying.

After lunch, it was time for a couple hours at kiddie heaven - Chuck E. Cheese's! The girls are hilarious there. Olivia throws the skee balls over-handed when I'm not looking. Lauren crawls throught the tunnels and stops at each window to wave and/or make sure I'm still watching. We took turns in the Chuckie sketch booth and the results weren't bad.

Me & Lauren

Brenda & Olivia

Lauren opted for these goofy glasses as her ticket collection reward.

Olivia wisely opted for a lollipop. Hershey Park tomorrow. God give me strength.

Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

And Justice for All

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Why are you all wet? Me: I knocked a plant off the kitchen counter. Brenda: The plant got you that wet? Go »

Placing Lust's Arrow In Cupid's Quiver

It's refreshing to reflect that the human race survived the sexually repressive Victorian Era. That women actually overcame their culturally reinforced suppression of sexual urges and ultimately spread their legs for something other than yeast related trail-blazing. Let's relive those glory days with the Victorian Sex Cry Generator and see where Fern Michaels gets her inspiration. Go »

My Favorite Memory

Yesterday, we held the memorial service for my father-in-law. There were approximately 100 people attending and afterward about 1/3 gathered at his home for a small meal and sharing remembrances. I chose to share my memory of the time, twenty years ago, when I asked him for his blessing for my planned proposal to Brenda, his eldest daughter. Go »

I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!

My toaster has a timer on it that let's you know when it's finished. It seems a little silly to add a timer beeping that's a redundant addition to the toast loudly popping up from the machine that means the same thing. So now, because the timer emits a sound eerily similar to an EKG indicating flatline, every time it goes off I'll say to Brenda, "He's bread, Jim." Go »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 2

Another collection of dumb criminals/lawsuits. Over-salted burger; anger management irony; the writing is on the wall dope; porn = pain; and finally, from the "What Did They Expect?" department, Unwanted donation . Go »