My God, bowling has gotten expensive. Sorry to speak of the costs of things so much but hey, this is a getting a little ridiculous. One game cost me $17.00. $17.00 and I don't get to take anything home with me. Sure it was fun but for that kind of money I want a case of scotch to go with it! Three games for the four of us would have cost $40.00 not counting the shoe rental, but Olivia was done after one. We came home after the one game which took an hour because of Olivia's slow play. She's still at that legs spread, two-handed pendulum kick start stage of bowling. Lauren was so proud of herself for getting a better score than Brenda did and Brenda tried to use the excuse of the girls taking advantage of the gutter bumpers. I told her the bumpers were there for her too, so she could have used them. She threatened to put a certain part of my anatomy in the ball polisher, if you know what I'm saying.

After lunch, it was time for a couple hours at kiddie heaven - Chuck E. Cheese's! The girls are hilarious there. Olivia throws the skee balls over-handed when I'm not looking. Lauren crawls throught the tunnels and stops at each window to wave and/or make sure I'm still watching. We took turns in the Chuckie sketch booth and the results weren't bad.

Me & Lauren


Brenda & Olivia


Lauren opted for these goofy glasses as her ticket collection reward.


Olivia wisely opted for a lollipop. Hershey Park tomorrow. God give me strength.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster

So we got this gift from a mother-in law who shall remain nameless; a "super-mega-nuclear look at me long enough and your face will melt like that guy in Raiders toaster. There was nothing wrong with our existing toaster but when she saw it on QVC, my nameless mother-in-law had one of those have to have it moments. I've nicknamed the toaster Darth Vader because regardless of the setting, it turns the bread to the dark side every time. Go »

I Tap My Magic Wand

This is just the coolest fountain. It may appear photoshopped but this actually has a pipe hidden within the water flow that supplies the water. I really have hopes that when I buy "Barbie's Dream House" (the euphemism my daughter and I use for our future house), a smaller version of this will be in my library. Go »

Vacation 2010

We took a real vacation this year albeit the travel was not a great distance. We packed up and went to Williamsburg, Va. It's a three-pronged vacation place that includes Busch Gardens amusement park, Water Country, USA and Colonial Williamsburg itself. Go »

If It's Human Waste, Save Some For Me

Should Burt Reynolds' fecal matter be worth more than Crispin Glover's? Which costs more: David Lee Roth's fecal matter or Sammy Hagar's urine? Start your Christmas list now for Celebrity Organic Waste Products. Go »

The Real Colon Blow Cereal

Holy metaphors, Batman! This recent All-Bran commercial from Kellogg's touts its ability to aid one in shitting enough bricks to build a barbecue. Go »

Me and Al Bundy

Recently, Brenda made the mistake of asking me to fix the toilet. It seemed to have gunk in the thingy that supplies the water and would only filll if I poked it with a paper clip in the spout thingy. You can tell I'm a semi-professional because of all the technical jargon. Go »