The Aggravation of Blog Readers by the Movie-Spoiler Scott Hardie
by Scott Hardie on August 27, 2006

The upcoming Western The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford has looked appealing to me for a while now. (I originally used a pic of Brad Pitt in character for the Jesse James goo.) Great cast, great photography, great old-fashioned title. How many long, cumbersome, ending-spoiling titles do you see in movies any more? I think they should all be named that way. The Escape from the Island by the Castaway and His Volleyball by Means of Floating Debris and a Makeshift Raft. The Treatment of a Scared Psychic Child by a Moody Psychologist Who Doesn't Know He's Dead. The Extraterrestrial Journey of the Emotionally-Isolated Astronomer Where She Discovers the Alien Spokesperson is Her Dad. It's catchy!
One Reply to The Aggravation of Blog Readers by the Movie-Spoiler Scott Hardie
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

So Tired
Just need to vent. I worked until 2am last Sunday night, writing a document for work. This writing is by far the most miserable task at my company, and this particular instance of it was extra-complicated. Go »
Jeffrey Katzenberg is a Crazy Person
I'm no fan of 3-D. I have lazy eye, which makes my right eye blurry and my left eye sharp. During a normal movie, I usually sit up front to be absorbed in the picture so that it doesn't matter, or if I sit in the back, I can concentrate to correct my vision. Go »
Windbag
I don't know what Polaroids he has of whom, but somehow Tom Skilling has elevated himself to some kind of all-important weather-broadcasting god. When I grew up in Chicago, I watched him gradually get a bigger and bigger budget for his animated graphics, and gradually get a larger and larger timeframe to deliver his dull reports. By the time I left town, he had a whole 20 minutes of the hour-long midday newscast for the fucking weather, and boy did he find trivia to fill it: Average dew points across Cook County on this day in 1854, theta-e temperature predictions for every Cubs home game next season, you name it. Go »
Firsties
It's been one year today since Kelly and I got married, but that feels strange to say, since it's been nineteen years today since our first date back in high school. I don't mind that it took us so long to get to this "first" anniversary; I'm just glad that we got here at last. We spent the day out feeding flamingos at a local animal sanctuary and eating at some favorite restaurants before I go back on diet tomorrow. Go »
What We Kept
One winter in the mid-1970s, my grandfather Donald was hospitalized with a serious infection in his foot. Being diabetic, he went out of his way for years to avoid any infections or other hazards, but his luck had run out. On Christmas Day, he was informed by the doctors that they would have to amputate his foot the next morning. Go »










Kris Weberg | August 27, 2006
It sounds good for most movies, but how would we be able to tell Rob Schneider's newest film, A Talentless Comedian Makes Fart and Dick Jokes for a Little over an Hour from last year's Schneider film of the same name?