At a local mall, I overheard an interaction between two budding entrepreneurs and an old man strolling along with a cane. A new store announced with a sign, "Opening Soon!" and inside were the two guys opening a few boxes to stack their wares on shelves. The curious old guy peered through the window, looked around intensely for a minute, then rapped on the glass with his cane shouting, "What are you sellin' here?" One of the guys (obviously not seeing the old guy as a potential customer) yelled back, "We're selling assholes!" Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well, only two left!"

Seniors - don't mess with them. They didn't get old by being stupid.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Yes, I Would Like A Second Helping

Blasts from the past. Really bad album covers. Lame creatures from Star Trek. Go »

Action Hero?

I remember back in the early '70's, my brother and I got new G.I. Joes for Christmas. They were pretty cool with the kung fu grip and "real-life hair and beard". Go »

Tattooing's Last Frontier

Aside from internal organs, there doesn't seem to have been any body part un-tattooed except for the eyeball. Until now. Colored contact lenses weren't good enough for this guy and I really expect him to be the first guy with a spleen tattoo. Go »

It's My Honor to Be Her Father

I just returned from Lauren"s surprise wedding shower. She was completely awed. She came on the pretense of picking up a couch for her apartment in North Dakota. Go »

I'm Like Tyson Without a Face Tattoo

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Where did you get that scar? me: Which one? Brenda: The one between your eyes. Go »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 3

Another small collection of weird legal matters. Yeah research, that's the ticket; Too manly for the ladies' room; Chi-tonw blues; Cat's got yer what?; and finally, I have no idea what it's like to be busted for DUI, taken for mugshots wearing a shirt displaying my love for midget sex, and then being forever haunted by that image surfacing on the internet, but I know who to ask. Go »