At a local mall, I overheard an interaction between two budding entrepreneurs and an old man strolling along with a cane. A new store announced with a sign, "Opening Soon!" and inside were the two guys opening a few boxes to stack their wares on shelves. The curious old guy peered through the window, looked around intensely for a minute, then rapped on the glass with his cane shouting, "What are you sellin' here?" One of the guys (obviously not seeing the old guy as a potential customer) yelled back, "We're selling assholes!" Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well, only two left!"

Seniors - don't mess with them. They didn't get old by being stupid.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!

My toaster has a timer on it that let's you know when it's finished. It seems a little silly to add a timer beeping that's a redundant addition to the toast loudly popping up from the machine that means the same thing. So now, because the timer emits a sound eerily similar to an EKG indicating flatline, every time it goes off I'll say to Brenda, "He's bread, Jim." Go »

Christmas Post #7: Coloring Crime

This website has some hilarious sections (most times intentionally, I think) offering many odd items for sale. My favorite is the Law & Order coloring book. Check out that connect the dots page - I wonder who that could be? Go »

Christmas Post #15: Christmas Kitsch

The folks at Ship of Fools annually compile their own gift list of what they term "The Twelve Days of Kitschmas". Good to see they also found huggable urns. Special Bonus 13th Day gift! Go »

Christmas Post # 18: It's The Force, Not An Empty Box

My brother is a collector of sorts. He has various bits of Civil War memorabilia, Washington Redskins gear, and science fiction flotsam from Star Trek and Star Wars. If these toys actually existed, he'd be one of the first in line. Go »

Do Pumpkins Exist Outside Of These Fall Holidays?

They should. I love the taste of homemade pumpkin pie. I almost didn't marry Brenda when she told me she couldn't make one but I thankfully reconsidered. Go »

Halloween Is Not For Kids

More and more, Halloween is becoming an occasion for parents to dress their kids for their own amusement and less and less for children to dress themselves as they want. I find it difficult to believe that any of these kids chose these costumes themselves and, although creative, are scary insights into the minds of their potential serial killer parents. The "rat eating brains" cap for infants disturbed me the most. Go »