At a local mall, I overheard an interaction between two budding entrepreneurs and an old man strolling along with a cane. A new store announced with a sign, "Opening Soon!" and inside were the two guys opening a few boxes to stack their wares on shelves. The curious old guy peered through the window, looked around intensely for a minute, then rapped on the glass with his cane shouting, "What are you sellin' here?" One of the guys (obviously not seeing the old guy as a potential customer) yelled back, "We're selling assholes!" Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well, only two left!"

Seniors - don't mess with them. They didn't get old by being stupid.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

If I Had A Hammer...

I once heard Leonard Nimoy singing this old Pete Seeger tune and it almost gave me epileptic convulsions. It has nothing to do with this link of an amazing artist who works with Hammer and Nails. It's just that whenever I see a hammer or box of nails or even a picture of Karen Carpenter - that's the song that leaps into my head. Go »

I Died a Spy

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: When I die, I want people to believe I led a double life. Brenda: How and more importantly, why? Me: Try to respect my dying wish. Go »

Welcome To Steve's World

Is anyone else offended by the automatic deodorizing spray dispenser in public bathrooms? It offends me when I’m standing at the urinal and that’s when it decides to spritz. Like it’s somehow recognized that an emergency deodorizing event is occurring and needs attention. Go »

Even Action Jeans Can't Help These Guys

Kung Fu movie auditions of martial art knuckleheads. The face falling guy with the nunchakus remains my favorite but the first guy is a close second. He knocks over a dummy that's not moving and in his own mind is a karate champion. Go »

Double Talk with a Forked Tongue

I've decided that from now on, I'm going to answer every question like a presidential candidate. Friend (voter): "Steve, what are you gonna do this weekend?" Me (blahblahblah): "That's a great question and an important one. Go »

Autism Walk 2010

We go on this walk annually and have seen it grow tremendously over the last seven years. What began for us as a walk to support a local fundraising group has evolved into a national campaign spearheaded by the Autism Speaks organization. It hasn't all been good but the majority of changes have been welcome. Go »