The New Store
by Steve West on June 5, 2022

At a local mall, I overheard an interaction between two budding entrepreneurs and an old man strolling along with a cane. A new store announced with a sign, "Opening Soon!" and inside were the two guys opening a few boxes to stack their wares on shelves. The curious old guy peered through the window, looked around intensely for a minute, then rapped on the glass with his cane shouting, "What are you sellin' here?" One of the guys (obviously not seeing the old guy as a potential customer) yelled back, "We're selling assholes!" Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well, only two left!"

Seniors - don't mess with them. They didn't get old by being stupid.

Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

No Clowns On Halloween Allowed At My Door

Or "How Ronald McDonald Kicked My Ass" About ten years ago, shortly before Brenda and I got married, we attended a Halloween party at a friend's house. The primary reason to get together was obviously to dress up like we did when we were little but secondarily to get drunk as a sailor on shore leave. The standard "funny name" cocktails were offered like "sex on the beach" and "southern screw" and "raw sewage". Go »

Fast Food, Clowns & Intestinal Disease

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: I really don't feel like cooking tonight. Is Chick-fil-A okay with you? me: As long as it's not McDonald's. Go »

The Naked Samaritan

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Did I ever tell you I posed nude for an art class? Me: Really?! (after recovering from shock) I had a college friend who posed for some extra money. Go »

Approaching Decision Time

The Mickster/Sean Penn debate rages. I'm listing my reasons not to choose Mickey Rourke and comparing them to a similar list for Sean Penn. Mickey Rourke 1. Go »

Vanity Plates

Although a few are a little crude, many of these vanity plates are clever and funny. I've never had a desire to acquire one myself but I do admire a good one when I see it on the road. My personal favorite is "PLAN AHE". Go »

Halloween Is Not For Kids

More and more, Halloween is becoming an occasion for parents to dress their kids for their own amusement and less and less for children to dress themselves as they want. I find it difficult to believe that any of these kids chose these costumes themselves and, although creative, are scary insights into the minds of their potential serial killer parents. The "rat eating brains" cap for infants disturbed me the most. Go »