At a local mall, I overheard an interaction between two budding entrepreneurs and an old man strolling along with a cane. A new store announced with a sign, "Opening Soon!" and inside were the two guys opening a few boxes to stack their wares on shelves. The curious old guy peered through the window, looked around intensely for a minute, then rapped on the glass with his cane shouting, "What are you sellin' here?" One of the guys (obviously not seeing the old guy as a potential customer) yelled back, "We're selling assholes!" Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well, only two left!"

Seniors - don't mess with them. They didn't get old by being stupid.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Shadowlands

As much as I admire the shadow creations, I know I wouldn't be able to stand having the pile of trash responsible sitting in the middle of my rec room. Seriously, how many have a "gallery" in their home. Go »

Insanity is Relative

Recent conversation with Brenda. Me: You know those signs that say 'Keep Off the Grass'? Brenda: Of course. Go »

Happy Halloween

Back when I was about ten, I went trick or treating as a witch doctor. I got to a house that I didn't know who lived there and was greeted by a kindly looking old lady. When I routinely and without much enthusiaism stated, "Trick or treat," she responded by handing me a piece of religious literature. Go »

Back to School Night

We just got back from the titular event and I have to say, I love my kids' school. Lauren is in 3rd grade and Olivia is in the autism program in 1st grade. Lauren has one teacher and Olivia has at least three (more if you count her speech therapist, occupational therapist, and physical therapist). Go »

I'm Too Young To Be Old

All of this landscaping has taken a serious toll on my aged body, apparently. I actually had to take a day off from work to recover from an aching back. When younger (twenties), I could chop a load of firewood blah blah blah. Go »

This Was No Boat Accident

Vacation Tip #2: Maybe you're into sharks, pun intended. I, myself, am not. For the longest time this has been my greatest fear; being eaten alive by a wild animal. Go »