At a local mall, I overheard an interaction between two budding entrepreneurs and an old man strolling along with a cane. A new store announced with a sign, "Opening Soon!" and inside were the two guys opening a few boxes to stack their wares on shelves. The curious old guy peered through the window, looked around intensely for a minute, then rapped on the glass with his cane shouting, "What are you sellin' here?" One of the guys (obviously not seeing the old guy as a potential customer) yelled back, "We're selling assholes!" Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, "You must be doing well, only two left!"

Seniors - don't mess with them. They didn't get old by being stupid.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Unlike Burger King, Special Orders Upset Us

Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: Feel like Subway for lunch? me: Only if I get a foot-long sandwich that's actually 12 inches long. Go »

The Texas Chili Cook-Off

Recently, at a Bowie Baysox baseball game, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Texas chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last minute, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans, probably) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. Go »

Vacation Week II

Took the girls to a petting zoo where they could not only look at the animals but interact as well. Saw some things of interest to me; an albino peacock (well, I don't know if it was albino but it was all white); petted a llama (their hair is kinda rough); the world's fattest rabbit (big as a poodle!); pigs, cows, horses, donkeys, turkeys & chickens & roosters (oh, my); a beautiful garden of vegetables and flowers; and lots of ducks and geese. Go »

Apparently, Some Visuals are Best Left Undescribed

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I was thinking about Star Wars stuff the other day and I can't help but see this mental image of the Empire State Building wielding a light sabre and waving it at King Kong. You know, The Empire Strikes Back. Brenda: Have you taken your meds today? Go »

Not Halloween But Pretty Scary

Imagine a band composed entirely of ukeleles and a guitar or two. Scared yet? Now imagine that band performing rock songs. Go »

Halloween 2015

A pretty fun time again this year. My brother and his wife hosted a costume party and because Cheryl is a breast cancer survivor, she requested that each costume contain a touch of pink. I carried around a baguette and sang I Want to Rock 'n' Roll All Night in French (Je veux du rock 'n roll tour le soir, et jeter tour la jour). Go »