She Obviously Wants To Outsource
by Steve West on April 10, 2013

Recent conversation with Brenda:
Brenda: After getting a new toilet, I'm seriously in the mood for a new bathroom.
me: Oh, really.
Brenda: Yes, really. And after that I'm thinking a new kitchen.
me: I can fix the kitchen with a hand grenade.
Brenda: That'll get me new cabinets?
me: No, but it'll get you Linoleum Blownapart.
Brenda: (obviously wasted joke on her) But I want new cabinets.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

What's A Zug, Anyway?
John Hargrave is an internet comedian I admire greatly. I read his stuff and laugh long and loud. The "pranks" on his site are incredibly funny. Go »
Definitely A Hatchet Murderer
My car broke down at an intersection less than a mile from my work. I have roadside assistance but I couldn't read the fine print on the handy card they provided. The fine print was where the number was. Go »
I Am A Marketing Genius
Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I’m thinking of buying that 5-hour energy stuff. Brenda: Think it’ll be worth it? me: Depends on what it costs – that whole dollars to extra push-ups ratio. Go »
Love is a Hurtin' Thing
Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: I need a reservation for Valentine's Day. Brenda: I'll see if I can find a restaurant that takes reservations for one. Me: No, I need a reservation for two. Go »
This Year Goes to 11 contd.
What do the following people have in common? Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Wayne Gretzky, Melissa Etheridge, Eddie Murphy, George Lopez, Marilyn Milian, George Clooney, Michael J. Fox, Kim Deal, Boy George, Forest Whitaker, Barack Obama, Susan Olsen, Wynton Marsalis, Heather Locklear, Meg Ryan, Ann Coulter, and Steve West. Go »