Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: After getting a new toilet, I'm seriously in the mood for a new bathroom.

me: Oh, really.

Brenda: Yes, really. And after that I'm thinking a new kitchen.

me: I can fix the kitchen with a hand grenade.

Brenda: That'll get me new cabinets?

me: No, but it'll get you Linoleum Blownapart.

Brenda: (obviously wasted joke on her) But I want new cabinets.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Halloween Post #4: Hellovader

For many people, costumes are very time consuming efforts. I tend to be more minimalist. For example, I could actually envision myself attending a Halloween costume party with Amy and she would be dressed like the Darth pussycat she is, and I would have on not much more than Fonzie socks. Go »

Ahnuld's Dog, Heinrich

"Heel, Heinrich!", commands the Governator. "Kiss my grossly over-developed ass," snarls Heinrich in return. Go »

Bad Jobs

I've had a few jobs that were pretty bad or at least aspects of them. We've probably all had crappy jobs like working in a kitchen or stuff that's just unpleasant or had difficult co-workers. The worst thing I was required to do was when I was working at the Department of Agriculture. Go »

I Hate Dentists At Halloween

This list of the worst candies to give at halloween includes toothbrushes commonly given by dental professionals. My dentist when I was a kid not only gave out toothbrushes but floss and a stern lecture on the way out the door for me and my parents. Jerk. Go »

Greasy Pole (Not Ron Jeremy)

Apparently, there is an annual contest in which men in drag attempt to walk the length of a greasy pole suspended over a body of water. It appears to be about 40 feet in length and about 20 feet over the water. The object being to reach the flag at the end of the pole. Go »

Double Talk with a Forked Tongue

I've decided that from now on, I'm going to answer every question like a presidential candidate. Friend (voter): "Steve, what are you gonna do this weekend?" Me (blahblahblah): "That's a great question and an important one. Go »