She Obviously Wants To Outsource
by Steve West on April 10, 2013

Recent conversation with Brenda:
Brenda: After getting a new toilet, I'm seriously in the mood for a new bathroom.
me: Oh, really.
Brenda: Yes, really. And after that I'm thinking a new kitchen.
me: I can fix the kitchen with a hand grenade.
Brenda: That'll get me new cabinets?
me: No, but it'll get you Linoleum Blownapart.
Brenda: (obviously wasted joke on her) But I want new cabinets.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

7-Eleven's Legacy
Aside from selling lottery tickets, 7-Eleven stores are recognizable by two products; Slurpees and Big Gulps. All, I mean all, of their food products should have E. Coli warnings on them and an ingredients list that says "some kind of meat, we think". Go »
Halloween Is Not For Kids
More and more, Halloween is becoming an occasion for parents to dress their kids for their own amusement and less and less for children to dress themselves as they want. I find it difficult to believe that any of these kids chose these costumes themselves and, although creative, are scary insights into the minds of their potential serial killer parents. The "rat eating brains" cap for infants disturbed me the most. Go »
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I'm Like Evander Holyfield Except With Two Entire Ears
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Sometimes Romance is Spontaneous
My parents (both passed) dearly loved each other. But with jobs, children, and other business, they found little time to spend on just the two of them. One evening when I was visiting, my Dad came up behind my Mom in the kitchen where she was doing dishes. Go »