Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: After getting a new toilet, I'm seriously in the mood for a new bathroom.

me: Oh, really.

Brenda: Yes, really. And after that I'm thinking a new kitchen.

me: I can fix the kitchen with a hand grenade.

Brenda: That'll get me new cabinets?

me: No, but it'll get you Linoleum Blownapart.

Brenda: (obviously wasted joke on her) But I want new cabinets.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Toilets R Us

I got a thing for cool looking toilets. What can I say? I'd like most of these to be in Barbie's Dream House except for that face-to-face absurdity. Go »

Double Talk with a Forked Tongue

I've decided that from now on, I'm going to answer every question like a presidential candidate. Friend (voter): "Steve, what are you gonna do this weekend?" Me (blahblahblah): "That's a great question and an important one. Go »

Passion

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I've been thinking about our love life lately. Brenda: Have you been drinking? me: I think the best comparison would be to the cockroach. Go »

I'm Too Young To Be Old

All of this landscaping has taken a serious toll on my aged body, apparently. I actually had to take a day off from work to recover from an aching back. When younger (twenties), I could chop a load of firewood blah blah blah. Go »

These People Really Hate Tomatoes

Random quote: "I accedentially (sic) ate a cherry tomato in my salad once,and now I worship satan." I personally like tomatoes and find it incredible that anyone can have such passion in either direction; love or hate. About tomatoes, I mean. Go »

Take Me Out...

It was baseball night in Bowie. As part of Lauren's tenth birthday celebration, we went to see the Bowie Baysox. Highlights of the evening included: Nearly getting nailed by a foul ball while distracted by getting pizza sauce off my pants. Go »