Mother's Day Gifts
by Steve West on May 15, 2011

As an honor to Brenda, we got her some plants for the house and lawn. Nice plants. All now dead from neglect. It really doesn't take long to go from that nursery look of health and heartiness to something that a starving rabbit wouldn't touch. I don't have a picture of the actual plants but these are reasonable facsimiles. I looked at the plants and gave Brenda the official Dr. Brown Thumb diagnosis: Rosenplantz and Guildenfern are dead.

Four Replies to Mother's Day Gifts
Erik Bates | June 1, 2011
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Chris Lemler | June 1, 2011
How about baseball tickets to a game.
Jackie Mason | June 11, 2011
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Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

I'm Like Tyson Without a Face Tattoo
Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Where did you get that scar? me: Which one? Brenda: The one between your eyes. Go »
A Story Without Words
I can't imagine being disfigured as an adult. I've read articles and seen pictorials of veterans wounded in the war and losing a limb or being disfigured by fire. And then those soldiers coming home to their fiancĂ©es to be married. Go »
Coolest Home Theater Ever
Chance of impressing your friends: 100% Chance of getting laid: Somewhat lower. This is definitely going to be a part of Barbie's Dream House. Especially if it comes with a replicator. Go »
Tale Of The Mediocre Football Fan
Last Thursday, Brenda and I went to the final preseason football game of the Washington Redskins. The game was less than meaningful (as is the nature of preseason football) because rarely do actual starters play in the final preseason game. But the tickets and parking were free (gift from a friend), and it gave Brenda and I an opportunity to have an evening for just the two of us, a rarity for most parents. Go »
Al Jolsen Meets The Handmaid's Tale
Brenda went to a local clothing store which I refuse to name so as not to give them any free advertising. I'm a little pissed at them right now. She bought Lauren some new clothes for school including a new pair of jeans for $15.00. Go »
Scott Hardie | June 1, 2011
Next year, plastic plants? If she manages to do the same thing to those...