As an honor to Brenda, we got her some plants for the house and lawn. Nice plants. All now dead from neglect. It really doesn't take long to go from that nursery look of health and heartiness to something that a starving rabbit wouldn't touch. I don't have a picture of the actual plants but these are reasonable facsimiles. I looked at the plants and gave Brenda the official Dr. Brown Thumb diagnosis: Rosenplantz and Guildenfern are dead.


Four Replies to Mother's Day Gifts

Scott Hardie | June 1, 2011
Next year, plastic plants? If she manages to do the same thing to those...

Erik Bates | June 1, 2011
[hidden by author request]

Chris Lemler | June 1, 2011
How about baseball tickets to a game.

Jackie Mason | June 11, 2011
[hidden by author request]


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Fast Food, Clowns & Intestinal Disease

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: I really don't feel like cooking tonight. Is Chick-fil-A okay with you? me: As long as it's not McDonald's. Go »

Which Underwear?

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: A friend of mine lost his wife a few years ago. He's not that old and dreaded entering the dating scene again but he was growing a little lonely. Brenda: Good for him - fingers crossed. Go »

Homecoming

Brenda and I went to closing for our new house today. Everything went smoothly and an hour and a half later I left with the keys in my pocket. We're moving this weekend so I'll be a little scarce here. Go »

Strange Dreams

I dreamt that I had died and gone to Heaven. Brenda lived a few more years and then she passed. When she got to Heaven, she saw me and ran to me with open arms saying how much she had missed me. Go »

Worst Pun Ever

Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: What are you grilling for dinner? me: Wookie steak. Go »

That Guy With The Glasses

Small representative sample of the films presented "in 5 seconds". Several are inspired by the original joke and many last more than 5 seconds, but all are abridged to hilarious result. These are my favorites: Rocky I, II, III, IV, V, & VI; Scarface; Snakes On A Plane; Titanic; and Gladiator. Go »