As an honor to Brenda, we got her some plants for the house and lawn. Nice plants. All now dead from neglect. It really doesn't take long to go from that nursery look of health and heartiness to something that a starving rabbit wouldn't touch. I don't have a picture of the actual plants but these are reasonable facsimiles. I looked at the plants and gave Brenda the official Dr. Brown Thumb diagnosis: Rosenplantz and Guildenfern are dead.


Four Replies to Mother's Day Gifts

Scott Hardie | June 1, 2011
Next year, plastic plants? If she manages to do the same thing to those...

Erik Bates | June 1, 2011
[hidden by author request]

Chris Lemler | June 1, 2011
How about baseball tickets to a game.

Jackie Mason | June 11, 2011
[hidden by author request]


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Christmas Post #6: Beer Foam = Food

I showed this product to my wife and said, "If it only had a urinal, I would never leave the rec room." "But what would you eat?", she asked. Go »

My Child Bride

I've mentioned my wife, Brenda in numerous posts. Thought it was about time to introduce (at least her picture) her to my on-line friends. This is also the only picture to which she consented. Go »

Christmas Post #3: Syphilis For Christmas

Lyme disease, E. Coli, and even Mad Cow are all available to gift your loved one with as a plush toy. Be sure to check the venereal section! Go »

Knock Knock Knockin' On Morpheus' Door

Nestled in the arms of Hypnos, my daughter woke me with the sounds of retching. She is struggling with a very phlegmy cough that makes sleeping difficult for her and impossible for me. What with all the changing of bedding in the middle of the night, clothing, dosing with medicine, and comforting - I lost a significant amount of sleep. Go »

Lucky Number 5

Brenda looked over my shoulder once to see what I was reading that made me chuckle. I told her it was an off-color joke involving the number 68. As it happened, she noticed that this joke appeared on page 68 of the book I was reading. Go »

Massage This

Recent conversation with Brenda: (After a massage and dinner as a birthday gift from her sister) me: How was everything? Brenda: I'm gonna be sore for the next few days. I made the mistake of asking for medium pressure. Go »