Mother's Day Gifts
by Steve West on May 15, 2011

As an honor to Brenda, we got her some plants for the house and lawn. Nice plants. All now dead from neglect. It really doesn't take long to go from that nursery look of health and heartiness to something that a starving rabbit wouldn't touch. I don't have a picture of the actual plants but these are reasonable facsimiles. I looked at the plants and gave Brenda the official Dr. Brown Thumb diagnosis: Rosenplantz and Guildenfern are dead.

Four Replies to Mother's Day Gifts
Erik Bates | June 1, 2011
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Chris Lemler | June 1, 2011
How about baseball tickets to a game.
Jackie Mason | June 11, 2011
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Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Flotsam & Jetsam
I always wanted to use that phrase. Crazy ticketers in England. Which anniversary is it appropriate to celebrate at this restaurant? Go »
No Clowns On Halloween Allowed At My Door
Or "How Ronald McDonald Kicked My Ass" About ten years ago, shortly before Brenda and I got married, we attended a Halloween party at a friend's house. The primary reason to get together was obviously to dress up like we did when we were little but secondarily to get drunk as a sailor on shore leave. The standard "funny name" cocktails were offered like "sex on the beach" and "southern screw" and "raw sewage". Go »
It's Not My Fault
Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Steven! me:Yes, queen of my soul. Brenda: The bathroom sink is full of whiskers. Go »
Just My Lucky Day, I Guess
Weekly shopping trips have been largely uneventful of late because of the absence of you know who, UOAS. She kind of startled me with her presence at the Safeway tonight and I wondered if God specifically was observing my sense of satisfaction over her MIA status. She noted my surprised expression and commented, "Long time no see!" Go »
What's A Zug, Anyway?
John Hargrave is an internet comedian I admire greatly. I read his stuff and laugh long and loud. The "pranks" on his site are incredibly funny. Go »
Scott Hardie | June 1, 2011
Next year, plastic plants? If she manages to do the same thing to those...