Mother's Day Gifts
by Steve West on May 15, 2011

As an honor to Brenda, we got her some plants for the house and lawn. Nice plants. All now dead from neglect. It really doesn't take long to go from that nursery look of health and heartiness to something that a starving rabbit wouldn't touch. I don't have a picture of the actual plants but these are reasonable facsimiles. I looked at the plants and gave Brenda the official Dr. Brown Thumb diagnosis: Rosenplantz and Guildenfern are dead.

Four Replies to Mother's Day Gifts
Erik Bates | June 1, 2011
[hidden by author request]
Chris Lemler | June 1, 2011
How about baseball tickets to a game.
Jackie Mason | June 11, 2011
[hidden by author request]
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Christmas Post #7: Coloring Crime
This website has some hilarious sections (most times intentionally, I think) offering many odd items for sale. My favorite is the Law & Order coloring book. Check out that connect the dots page - I wonder who that could be? Go »
Ahnuld's Dog, Heinrich
"Heel, Heinrich!", commands the Governator. "Kiss my grossly over-developed ass," snarls Heinrich in return. Go »
Christmas Post #3: Syphilis For Christmas
Lyme disease, E. Coli, and even Mad Cow are all available to gift your loved one with as a plush toy. Be sure to check the venereal section! Go »
Al Jolsen Meets The Handmaid's Tale
Brenda went to a local clothing store which I refuse to name so as not to give them any free advertising. I'm a little pissed at them right now. She bought Lauren some new clothes for school including a new pair of jeans for $15.00. Go »
Police Dogs
Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: How was your day? Me: It was going so well until I got chased by a police dog. Brenda: Oh, sweet lord, why was a police dog chasing you? Go »










Scott Hardie | June 1, 2011
Next year, plastic plants? If she manages to do the same thing to those...