My kingdom for an alarm clock that beeps once, gently, 60 seconds before it really begins going off. That way you're woken up comfortably and given a chance to turn it off, instead of being startled awake by loud shrieking and having to scramble for it.


Fourteen Replies to The Time Has Come

Denise Sawicki | June 19, 2007
I despise alarm clocks. I actually never use them because I always wake up on time by myself. It's especially easy to do so in the summer in ND because the sun is up by 5 AM. :-P But your suggestion sounds like a good invention to make alarm clocks less obnoxious.

Anna Gregoline | June 19, 2007
I have never, ever, had an alarm clock I liked. I'm currently using a CD player alarm clock that doesn't play CDs any more, nor any of the "soothing nature sounds" it claims to. It's snooze button is too small, as well and I accidentily turn it off far more than I want to.

Why is it so hard to find a good alarm clock!?!?

Erik Bates | June 19, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Scott Hardie | June 19, 2007
What's the brand and/or model, Erik? I'd love to get my hands on one of those.

Back when I wore a watch, I could set it to go off a minute before the clock and that was fine. The only other alarm I have now is on my phone and it's a loud one. Maybe I just need to buy another cheap watch and keep it on my nightstand.

Jackie Mason | June 21, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Scott Hardie | June 21, 2007
Hear hear.

Erik Bates | June 21, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Anna Gregoline | June 22, 2007
I agree, Jackie. Also when I phone keeps ringing on television or in a movie I feel jumpy.

Denise Sawicki | June 22, 2007
I get jumpy from alarm clocks on TV, but not as much as my dog gets jumpy from doorbells on TV.

Aaron Shurtleff | June 28, 2007
I get that oogie feeling from the keyboard typing sounds they use in commercials, like the southwest.com commercials! Argh!

Amy Austin | June 29, 2007
Heheheh... my dogs bark at TV doorbells, too, Denise -- it's funny, too, that they don't even have to sound identical to the one in my house... they just know that it means someone is at the door. Same with knocking -- any noise that resembles it can set them off, too.

Personally, I *detest* traffic noises -- like honking horns and sirens and shit like that -- on my fucking car radio... talk about getting artificially worked up! This pisses me off so much that it's my number one reason to hate commercial radio... doesn't it ever occur to anyone that this could be really unsafe on the road??? No, I guess they just figure that using traffic noises while you're driving is going to command your attention. Never mind that the command I hear is "CHANGE THE FUCKING STATION!!!"

Denise Sawicki | June 29, 2007
I get worked up from traffic noises on the radio too.

I think we may have managed to desensitize our dog to TV doorbells. He particularly hates the ones on the show "Curb Your Enthusiasm" so we decided to rewind and replay the "doorbell" part of the DVD multiple times in a row until he stopped trying to get up and run to the door and bark. Since then, he has totally ignored doorbells on some other shows, but I guess the grand test would be to play the CYE again.

Scott Hardie | July 3, 2007
This is an unnecessarily obscene follow-up, but I've read that for a teacher, one method to deal with prepubescent boys who can't help giggling at words like "penis" and "vagina" is to pause your lecture, calmly stare at the kid as you repeat the word over and over again until he is too thoroughly embarrassed ever to find the word funny again, then proceed.

Apparently nobody ever did this to Adam Sandler.

Amy Austin | July 5, 2007
HAHAHA!!! Yeah, I think there's definitely something to be said for desensitization training... they only do it when they haven't heard one for a while, but when it happens more often than that, I usually just get the half-hearted "rff" from C.C., the most vigilant of the three when it comes to sounding any intruder alerts... followed by a half-concerned/half-startled "rf" from one of the other two.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Operation Git-R-Done

This past weekend, I explored my inner redneck in a NASCAR-centered visit to Charlotte with Steve Dunn and my family. Here are the highlights, good and bad. Thursday: Very little sleep before the trip: The Jeep parked outside my window sounded off its car alarm every five minutes (I timed it) from 10pm to 10am. Go »

Parking Lot Pun

Overheard from an elderly woman whose groceries were being lifted into her trunk by a teenaged boy: "When you're as old as I am, the world is your hoister." Go »

White Christmas

We're enjoying our winter vacation in central Illinois so far. Tue 12/22 - When you're hitting the road for your vacation right after work is over, every extra minute feels like an hour, which means I did 45 hours of overtime. The drive was easier than we thought, probably because we had days to prepare this time. Go »

Midevil Mayhem

On Sunday evening, besides indulging in a few rounds of the ever-popular Munchkin with Miah, Ines, and her boss Denise, we tried one round of Midevil, a spinoff of the apparently bestselling Zombies!!! game that my St. Pete friends will recognize. Go »

Tooth in Advertising

Every time I go to the local Carmike cinema and watch their pre-show reminders montage, I wind up thinking about dentists. First they show King Kong howling with those yellowish fangs – he needs a veterinary dentist. Then it's the pirates of the Caribbean; they have gold teeth so they need dentists too. Go »

Abortion Aborted

Earlier this week, The Onion published another eyebrow-raiser: Actress' Abortion Written Into TV Show, with a photo of Leah Remini. Later that day, it changed without explanation into the much tamer Apple Unveils New Product-Unveiling Product. (link) Normally they never back down from a legal challenge or controversy, and good taste obviously isn't a factor, so I wonder why they changed the article. Go »