Lauren and I went on that rock climbing event that she won during daddy/daughter bingo night. I corresponded with her principal, a nice guy who does this often. I asked him what I needed to bring besides bandages and his only recommendation was loose clothing. I don't own any loose clothing.

So before I went out and bought any sweats, of which I own none, I asked Brenda if I could try on a pair of hers (she owns many). We are of pretty disparate size so I told her to bring any that were way too big for her as long as they weren't pink or yellow. I have certain manliness restrictions that are that much more critical because I anticipated looking like a doofus anyway doing an exercise never attempted before. The shirt was easy as I had plenty of loose-fitting T-shirts. I purposely chose the one displaying a giant airmail stamp.

The place itself was what you would expect from an indoor facility, walls of two different heights (25 and 40 ft.), peppered with varying foot- and hand-holds. The holds were of varying help depending on the rating of the climb. They varied in size, ease of grip, and distance from each other. First step was to get fitted with appropriate climbing gear, essentially just a harness and special shoes. Like a bowling alley, you must wear special shoes for the same purpose which is to not ruin the surface of the walls. Also they had an almost sticky, rubbery texture.

I started on the bunny slope equivalent of a shorter wall with big handholds. Piece of cake. Going up just one level of difficulty however made a noticeable difference. I forgot to mention that you choose between a self-belaying rope (a sort of giant janitor keyring string suspended from the ceiling) or have a belaying partner. Principal Mills was belaying for me but because I outweigh him by 50 lbs. he was also clipped to the floor. I went up a few more times but ran out of breath about two-thirds of the way up the high wall.

Lauren seemed pretty intimidated by the whole thing and never went higher than I could touch. She emphatically stated that she had fun, though. I sure hope so. Principal Mills' daughter, Thea, has been doing this for over a year (they have a membership at the facility) and definitely outshone my clumsy efforts. It was mini-Spiderman vs giant Spiderslug for sure.

Overall, a good time. I didn't fall or overly embarrass myself and Lauren claims she had fun. I was encouraging her to do more but not being pushy or disappointed. Just another memory for us to share. And dammit, I forgot my camera!


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Ahnuld's Dog, Heinrich

"Heel, Heinrich!", commands the Governator. "Kiss my grossly over-developed ass," snarls Heinrich in return. Go »

Which Underwear?

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: A friend of mine lost his wife a few years ago. He's not that old and dreaded entering the dating scene again but he was growing a little lonely. Brenda: Good for him - fingers crossed. Go »

Spain in a Week

We're back in the USA after a week in Spain with layovers in Paris and Amsterdam. Barcelona and Madrid were incredible. We saw more things than my brain could catalogue and looking at the pictures we took I find myself repeating, "Where in hell were we when I shot this?" Go »

Christmas Post #10: SNL Parody Inspires Product

I don't know if the SNL commercial parody for a product called "Ass Don't Smell" inspired the inventors of this product but the connection in my mind cracks me up. Meeting all of your body odor needs. I couldn't find the original sketch but here's a parody of the parody, I think. Go »

The New Store

At a local mall, I overheard an interaction between two budding entrepreneurs and an old man strolling along with a cane. A new store announced with a sign, "Opening Soon!" and inside were the two guys opening a few boxes to stack their wares on shelves. Go »

Top Ten Top 10

Letterman has practically made a career out of his "Top 10" Lists. I'm shocked he doesn't have the copyright. He does, at least unofficially, as anyone who does anything similar immediately brings thoughts of him to mind. Go »