What Goes Up...
by Steve West on May 30, 2009
Lauren and I went on that rock climbing event that she won during daddy/daughter bingo night. I corresponded with her principal, a nice guy who does this often. I asked him what I needed to bring besides bandages and his only recommendation was loose clothing. I don't own any loose clothing.
So before I went out and bought any sweats, of which I own none, I asked Brenda if I could try on a pair of hers (she owns many). We are of pretty disparate size so I told her to bring any that were way too big for her as long as they weren't pink or yellow. I have certain manliness restrictions that are that much more critical because I anticipated looking like a doofus anyway doing an exercise never attempted before. The shirt was easy as I had plenty of loose-fitting T-shirts. I purposely chose the one displaying a giant airmail stamp.
The place itself was what you would expect from an indoor facility, walls of two different heights (25 and 40 ft.), peppered with varying foot- and hand-holds. The holds were of varying help depending on the rating of the climb. They varied in size, ease of grip, and distance from each other. First step was to get fitted with appropriate climbing gear, essentially just a harness and special shoes. Like a bowling alley, you must wear special shoes for the same purpose which is to not ruin the surface of the walls. Also they had an almost sticky, rubbery texture.
I started on the bunny slope equivalent of a shorter wall with big handholds. Piece of cake. Going up just one level of difficulty however made a noticeable difference. I forgot to mention that you choose between a self-belaying rope (a sort of giant janitor keyring string suspended from the ceiling) or have a belaying partner. Principal Mills was belaying for me but because I outweigh him by 50 lbs. he was also clipped to the floor. I went up a few more times but ran out of breath about two-thirds of the way up the high wall.
Lauren seemed pretty intimidated by the whole thing and never went higher than I could touch. She emphatically stated that she had fun, though. I sure hope so. Principal Mills' daughter, Thea, has been doing this for over a year (they have a membership at the facility) and definitely outshone my clumsy efforts. It was mini-Spiderman vs giant Spiderslug for sure.
Overall, a good time. I didn't fall or overly embarrass myself and Lauren claims she had fun. I was encouraging her to do more but not being pushy or disappointed. Just another memory for us to share. And dammit, I forgot my camera!
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Happy Halloween
Back when I was about ten, I went trick or treating as a witch doctor. I got to a house that I didn't know who lived there and was greeted by a kindly looking old lady. When I routinely and without much enthusiaism stated, "Trick or treat," she responded by handing me a piece of religious literature. Go »The Naked Samaritan
Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Did I ever tell you I posed nude for an art class? Me: Really?! (after recovering from shock) I had a college friend who posed for some extra money. Go »Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 3
Another small collection of weird legal matters. Yeah research, that's the ticket; Too manly for the ladies' room; Chi-tonw blues; Cat's got yer what?; and finally, I have no idea what it's like to be busted for DUI, taken for mugshots wearing a shirt displaying my love for midget sex, and then being forever haunted by that image surfacing on the internet, but I know who to ask. Go »Differences That Make All The Difference
Recent discussion with Brenda: me: There's such a huge difference between how I interact with people at work and how I interact with the people in my home. Brenda: How so? me: At work, I spend all day talking about banking practices and domestic and international finance. Go »Not Halloween But Pretty Scary
Imagine a band composed entirely of ukeleles and a guitar or two. Scared yet? Now imagine that band performing rock songs. Go »
