What Goes Up...
by Steve West on May 30, 2009
Lauren and I went on that rock climbing event that she won during daddy/daughter bingo night. I corresponded with her principal, a nice guy who does this often. I asked him what I needed to bring besides bandages and his only recommendation was loose clothing. I don't own any loose clothing.
So before I went out and bought any sweats, of which I own none, I asked Brenda if I could try on a pair of hers (she owns many). We are of pretty disparate size so I told her to bring any that were way too big for her as long as they weren't pink or yellow. I have certain manliness restrictions that are that much more critical because I anticipated looking like a doofus anyway doing an exercise never attempted before. The shirt was easy as I had plenty of loose-fitting T-shirts. I purposely chose the one displaying a giant airmail stamp.
The place itself was what you would expect from an indoor facility, walls of two different heights (25 and 40 ft.), peppered with varying foot- and hand-holds. The holds were of varying help depending on the rating of the climb. They varied in size, ease of grip, and distance from each other. First step was to get fitted with appropriate climbing gear, essentially just a harness and special shoes. Like a bowling alley, you must wear special shoes for the same purpose which is to not ruin the surface of the walls. Also they had an almost sticky, rubbery texture.
I started on the bunny slope equivalent of a shorter wall with big handholds. Piece of cake. Going up just one level of difficulty however made a noticeable difference. I forgot to mention that you choose between a self-belaying rope (a sort of giant janitor keyring string suspended from the ceiling) or have a belaying partner. Principal Mills was belaying for me but because I outweigh him by 50 lbs. he was also clipped to the floor. I went up a few more times but ran out of breath about two-thirds of the way up the high wall.
Lauren seemed pretty intimidated by the whole thing and never went higher than I could touch. She emphatically stated that she had fun, though. I sure hope so. Principal Mills' daughter, Thea, has been doing this for over a year (they have a membership at the facility) and definitely outshone my clumsy efforts. It was mini-Spiderman vs giant Spiderslug for sure.
Overall, a good time. I didn't fall or overly embarrass myself and Lauren claims she had fun. I was encouraging her to do more but not being pushy or disappointed. Just another memory for us to share. And dammit, I forgot my camera!
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Never Volunteer, Dummy
Ever since seeing Anthony Hopkins in Magic, ventriloquists and their evil dummies have given me the creeps. This guy does as well but I laughed nonetheless. I think I could sit through his entire act but could never get past the queasiness and actually volunteer like this guy did. Go »Accidents Happen But This Is Ridiculous
You know, I've accidentally glued various parts of my body to odd things before. I glued my shirt to my stomach, once. But this guy takes the glue cake. Go »Yes, It's Hot Enough For Me
Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: The weather's been getting a lot warmer lately. me: I believe I noticed. Brenda: I'm worried that our air conditioner is too old and won't be good enough this summer. Go »Christmas Post #14: Scared Of Santa
Pretty funny site devoted to pictures of children unhappy with being seated next to Santa. The hilarious aspect for me are the expressions on the faces of the Santas who are obviously thinking of everywhere else they'd rather be than here with this screaming little turd-dropper in their lap. Poor kids. Go »Halloween Short Clips
Mark Gervais created this film for Halloween to be broadcast on a home's window. If I saw this in my neighborhood, it would really creep me out and I would give the house a wide berth. Then I'd come back later and watch it a dozen times. Go »
