I know a few people visiting the self-proclaimed Happiest Place on Earth for the first time in 2008, and I've been there a lot, so here's what I tell them.

1) Go during the off-season: Between Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve, or between New Years and Valentines Day. The hotels are a fraction of their normal cost, the Florida weather is dry and cool, and best of all, park attendance is at a minimum. You can see every ride and attraction with virtually no wait.

2) Stay in a Disney resort, if you don't mind paying extra. You get curbside access to Disney's omnipresent bus service, which ferries you around the World without you needing a map or hiking in from every parking lot. You can also have every souvenir purchase sent to your hotel's front desk for pickup in the morning, so you don't have to lug it around. The All-Star resorts are cheapest and more than adequate for a few nights' stay.

3) Check in the night before and check out the day after. Sending purchases to your hotel only works this way. A day at any park is exhausting and you don't want to add an hour or more fussing with the hotel or driving around, early in the morning or late at night. It's worth the extra cost.

4) Bring breakfast to your hotel room: Bagels, donuts, breakfast bars, fruit that won't spoil. Eating breakfast after you get to the park wastes an hour, and morning hours are the best time. Be at the park when the gates open for zero waiting in line.

5) Make advance reservations for lunch and dinner at the table-service restaurants and buffets in the parks (1-800-wdw-dine). As long as you have a reservation, the staff doesn't care what time you show up, even more than an hour off the mark. You'll get the next table while other people are turned away because the restaurant is full for the night.

6) Ask for your bill when the food is placed in front of you, and plunk down your credit card as soon as the bill arrives. The waiter will be miffed, but the point is that you can get up and leave as soon as you're done eating. There's Disney World outside; who wants to sit around?

7) On the other hand: Sit as often as possible, especially if you're older or obese, at least 5 minutes every hour. Waiting around while your companion rides a coaster, or shops, or goes to the restroom? Sit down. There are benches everywhere. It's the difference between feet that are screaming in pain by dusk, and feet that are happy to keep going hours after the park closes. If you're splitting up and deciding where to meet each other later, meet at a bench.

8) Plan in advance what attractions you will see, list them in geographical order (clockwise or counter around each circular park), and stick to it. It's human nature to want spontaneity on your vacation, but there isn't enough time in the day to see everything, and you wouldn't believe how much time is wasted without a plan, arguing over the map after every attraction and backtracking all over the place. Your list doesn't have to be ironclad and you will deviate from it sometimes, but embrace the list and you'll fit a great deal more into your day than you would without it.

9) You only need two sources: The official site, where you can create your attractions itinerary and book everything but the meals, and this guide, the best on the market. You only need to bother with the relevant chapters, so it's quick reading. It's written for summertime visitors so it often mentions long lines, but you're smart and visiting in mid-January when there are no lines, aren't you?

10) Sign up for the Disney photo pass service by talking to any staff photographer stationed at scenic points around the parks. Each one will take a high-quality photo of you and store the image digitally, and you can retrieve all the photos at DisneyPhotoPass.com after you get home, where you can order prints. No lugging around a camera. You can also save the "omigod" shots surreptitiously taken of you on the roller coasters.


Two Replies to Ten Stress-Relieving Tips for Visiting Walt Disney World

Amy Austin | January 6, 2008
GREAT advice list, Scott... I'd say that you should make a buck by trying to get that printed in some publication, but... that kind of ruins that special "I'm in the know" secret feeling, doesn't it... ;-)

Jackie Mason | January 7, 2008
[hidden by author request]


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Feeling Lucky

Yesterday was my 13th anniversary of dating Kelly. We've been through many ups and downs together, and those downs have to do with why we're not married yet, but I love her as much now as I ever have. Here are 13 things that have been a part my life for less time than we've been dating: - The Internet. Go »

Rethinking Forrest Gump

Inspired by a conversation this past weekend, I've been thinking about the once-popular movie Forrest Gump. It has fallen out of favor with people who prefer its contemporaries Pulp Fiction and The Shawshank Redemption and believe it robbed them of Oscars, but to me all three films are good. Gump succeeds because of a lot of factors, but consider its acting and its visual effects. Go »

69.120.111.23

By now, we've all read the news of how the bodies of wrestler Chris Benoit and his family were found on the afternoon of June 25th. But who read the news early? Check out this Wikipedia edit which mentioned his wife's death 14 hours before the bodies were discovered. Go »

Modern Music

Sadness is not when one of your favorite bands (Smashing Pumpkins) puts out their final album in MP3 format only and you miss it because you don't want to get into file-sharing. Sadness is five years later, when you happily stumble across a website with the entire thing available for download and you finally learn how heinous and unpublishable the album was all along. Go »

Overheard

"Back when I sold real estate, I used to touch up the houses myself. It was a tough market, there wasn't money to pay for it. Anyway, this one house, I have the damnedest time getting the color in the living room right. Go »

I Want to Play Sega with Harrison Ford

Behold the bizarre, pop-culture-inspired visions of Brandon Bird: (link) Thanks, Maggie. Go »