Scott Hardie | May 8, 2005
Create a list of 100 moments you love in movies. If that's too many, scale back your own list. You might draw from your own DVD collection for inspiration (like I did heavily). And watch out for spoilers.

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"Mars Attacks!" - The nation has been demolished, so at the new president's swearing-in ceremony, the best they can find to play "Hail to the Chief" is a mariachi band.

"Midnight Run" - Charles Grodin finally gets an upset Robert De Niro to smile by admitting his sexual attraction to a certain feathered farm animal.

"Amélie" - The teddy bear in the clouds and the young photographer's revenge on the bully.

"One Eight Seven" - Samuel L. Jackson takes Clifton Gonzalez Gonzalez's "turn" for him.

"Wayne's World 2" - The Indian looks around the trash-strewn park and a single tear falls down his cheek. Mike Myers: "Dude, don't cry! We'll clean it up!"

"Road to Perdition" - The son realizes he might have struck the deal too soon. "Could I have had more?" "You'll never know."

"Thunderheart" - Val Kilmer and Graham Greene find the woman's corpse in the dry river bed, and realize how cruel are the villains they're up against.

"Office Space" - The boys from Initech get their revenge on the office copy machine at last. The scene is a work of genius.

"The Devil's Backbone" - Irene Visedo decides to wear the cigar band after all.

"Braveheart" - Brendan Gleeson hurls Mel Gibson's sword through the air as James Horner's music swells. It makes me proud to be Scots-American.

"Mulholland Dr." - Naomi Watts finds her own corpse in her bed, and movie breaks through to a whole new level of mystery.

"Rosemary's Baby" - Mia Farrow is so distracted, she walks right into busy traffic. (It's better when you know the actress did it for real at Roman Polanski's prodding.)

"Pulp Fiction" - "Let me ask you a question. When you came pulling in here, did you see a sign out in front of my house that said Dead Nigger Storage?"

"Highlander" - Christopher Lambert's final battle with Clancy Brown turns electric, literally.

"Do the Right Thing" - Danny Aiello flirts with Joie Lee, while a slow pan reveals the smoldering anger of both his son and her brother.

"The Pianist" - We're so wrapped up in Adrien Brody's plight that we want to tell him to pick up the can of pickles, until we realize why he doesn't bother.

"Vertigo" - Kim Novak emerges in that green neon glow looking precisely like the dead woman, except for the mounting worry in her eyes.

"Dances with Wolves" - The soldiers take aim at White Socks while Kevin Costner is powerless to stop them.

"Magnolia" - The frogs around the swimming pool. The interior view of an ambulance tumbling over. Jason Robards staring into Tom Cruise's eyes as he gasps for air.

"Corrina, Corrina" - Tina Majorino can go anywhere she wants for her birthday, so she chooses the most magical place she knows: The automatic car wash.

"Stephen King's The Stand" - Molly Ringwald rests her head on Corin Nemec's knee to Neil Finn's "Don't Dream It's Over."

"L.A. Confidential" - Russell Crowe holds the photograph up to his face, and Guy Pearce has only a split second for his life to flash before his eyes.

"The Ninth Gate" - The camera shows us Johnny Depp's front-row perspective of Frank Langella's boastful victory scene and attempted transformation.

"The Red Violin" - Samuel L. Jackson gets back the report saying what the varnish is made of, and he drops the papers just as the elevator door closes.

"Who Framed Roger Rabbit" - Christopher Lloyd's villain is revealed at last. Perhaps it was the cartoonishly bulging red eyes that gave him away?

"Primal Fear" - Roy emerges at last with a passion, but did Frances McDormand catch him on camera?

"Run Lola Run" - Lola begins her final run, and the upbeat music cues the thought: This time she ought to get it right.

"The Bourne Supremacy" - Matt Damon eliminates a corpse with the clever use of a toaster.

"The Shining" - Jack Nicholson stares at his wife and son playing in the snow with a chill-inducing fascination.

"O Brother, Where Art Thou?" - Every time George Clooney wakes up, we know just what's on his mind: "My hair!"

"Bill & Ted's Bogus Journey" - "Get down and give me... infinity."

"Platoon" - Charlie Sheen's boyish face appears at the end of the final credits, in a jaw-dropping demonstration of how much his character changed.

"X" - It may be the most famous final line that never existed: "I can still see!"

"A River Runs Through It" - Tom Skerritt makes his son rewrite the essay until it is half as long, then half as long again. Every English teacher should give that lesson.

"Drunken Master" - Jackie Chan does a handstand and claps his feet together to taunt the "Stink" King (bad English dub only).

"Gattaca" - The brothers have their final swim in the ocean, and Ethan Hawke proves himself at last.

"The Jackal" - Bruce Willis reduces Jack Black to tiny bloody chunks with a rapid-fire machine gun. Oh, that felt good!

"Heat" - Hank Azaria: "Why'd I ever get mixed up with that bitch?" Al Pacino: "Cause she's got a great ass! And you've got your head, all the way up it!"

"Frequency" - Dennis Quaid escapes from the police station by an ingenious method.

"Casablanca" - "Your winnings, Sir." "Oh, thank you very much."

"Titanic" - The movie ramps up to peak intensity: Leonardo Di Caprio and Kate Winslet try to outrun the surge of water, then get locked in a flooding corridor with only a strobe light to illuminate their escape.

"The Truman Show" - I will never forget the sympathetic "ohh!" from a female viewer behind me when Jim Carrey was described casually by the narrator as "The first baby to be legally adopted by a corporation."

"Memento" - Guy Pearce waits for the shadow at the peephole and kicks in the door, only to realize that he had cleverly broken into the wrong hotel room.

"The Green Mile" - Michael Clarke Duncan seizes Tom Hanks's genitals and the light bulbs burst, and we realize we're not in the movie we thought we were in.

"Easy Rider" - The marijuana-fueled campfire scene, where Jack Nicholson reveals some interesting beliefs about UFOs.

"Changing Lanes" - (banker) "I'm sorry, the computer says you're bankrupt." (Samuel L. Jackson smashes it on the floor) "No it doesn't!"

"Natural Born Killers" - Russell Means tells the story of the gardener and the snake. (I think of that story often while watching "Survivor.")

"Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon" - Zhang Ziyi tells Michelle Yeoh to pick another weapon, so she does: a broadsword. The movie pauses just to admire how majestic she looks with it.

"Lost in Translation" - Everybody's favorite moment: Bill Murray whispers something to Scarlett Johansson and we cannot hear what.

"Fight Club" - "I haven't been fucked like that since grade school" and the line that Helena Bonham Carter almost said instead.

"Sleepy Hollow" - Tim Burton relishes setting the windmill ablaze not just in tribute to James Whale, but also to his own "Frankenweenie."

"Princess Mononoke" - When Ashitaka wants out of the town, he simply pushes open the door, much to the amazement of the men who thought it was unopenable.

"The Godfather" - Al Pacino and Diane Keaton lock eyes in the final moments, marking the completion of Michael's transformation into evil.

"The Dead Zone" - The cover of Newsweek gets splattered with blood. (Nothing to do with Newsweek; everything to do with how satisfying the scene is.)

"25th Hour" - The "fuck you" speech. The whole thing. Spike Lee risked self-parody to include this incendiary moment from the novel.

"Real Women Have Curves" - America Ferrera's abuelo helps her sneak out of the house to her first date.

"The Lost Boys" - "Maggots, Michael. You're eating maggots. How do they taste?"

"The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring" - The troll bursts through the fortified door and the Steadicam makes the CGI look so real. I have never wanted to play Dungeons & Dragons so badly in my life.

"Waterworld" - Kevin Costner teaches Tina Majorino how to swim in a beautful sunlit ocean, and the movie fleetingly transcends itself.

"Any Given Sunday" - Al Pacino and Jamie Foxx argue over jumbalaya and "Ben-Hur." It was the moment I realized how damn good of an actor Foxx is.

"The Lost Skeleton of Cadavra" - Larry Blamire's scientist is startled from his work: "Huh? What the? Huh?"

"True Lies" - Captured by terrorists, Arnold Schwarzenegger has been given a truth serum that prevents him from lying. A worried Jamie Lee Curtis asks, "Are we gonna die?" Arnold: "Yup!"

"Punch-Drunk Love" - Emily Watson's cheek is scratched in the car accident, and Adam Sandler snaps off of his leash at last.

"Fargo" - Truly desperate, Steve Buscemi marks the spot in the snowy field with a hand-held ice scraper.

"Die Hard 2" - Robert Patrick plays a robot-like terrorist, so precise in his movements that it got him cast a year later as the T-1000.

"Scream" - Matthew Lillard breaks down. "My parents are going to kill me!"

"Malcolm X" - The police choose the worst possible time to burst into the house to arrest Denzel Washington and Spike Lee.

"Moulin Rouge!" - The exhilarating music over the closing credits. Still the best end-credits sequence I've ever seen.

"Storytelling" - "Consuelo!" The Spoiled Brat spills his juice, and we want to strangle the little shit right then and there.

"Falling Down" - Michael Douglas asks, "I'm the bad guy?" and we realize that yes, he is.

"The Ref" - When Kevin Spacey proudly claims that Judy Davis just quit smoking, Denis Leary pesters her until she confesses where the pack is hidden.

"Little Voice" - Jane Horrocks's precise celebrity impressions are amazing. The whole movie and play are, of course, nothing without her.

"Being John Malkovich" - Cameron Diaz to John Cusack: "Don't stand in the way of my actualization as a man."

"The Matrix" - "Dodge this." If I had a time machine, I'd screen this movie for an unsuspecting 1950s audience, just to see their reaction.

"The Two Jakes" - Jack Nicholson locks the door and pours a scotch and takes out his mementoes from the Mulwray case. The film depends upon the psychic wounds established so well in this scene.

"Hard Eight" - Philip Baker Hall teaches John C. Reilly how to con the casino into a free hotel room and meal, and a delighted Reilly pulls it off.

"The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad!" - O.J. Simpson breaks into the room of armed thugs with a dozen pistols pointed at him and shouts "Drop your weapons!" One guy does.

"Little Shop of Horrors" - The brilliant in-song revelation of what Steve Martin does for a living.

"An Officer and a Gentleman" - Lou Gossett Jr. finally, finally, finally gets Richard Gere to admit why he won't give up.

"Ghost Dog: The Way of the Samurai" - The movie stops to savor Raekwon's "Ice Cream" in the park.

"Equilibrium" - Christian Bale and Angus Macfadyen grabbing the pistols out of each other's hands faster than they can shoot.

"Spider-Man 2" - Spidey, unmasked and unconscious, is carried by the grateful crowd to the center of the train, and feelings we haven't felt since childhood are stirred.

"Together" - The boy's heartfelt performance for an audience of one (plus onlookers) in the train station, a location that means so much to the film.

"The Haunting" - Lili Taylor cops an attitude with the humongous ghost of Hugh Crain, and the CGI indignation on his face as he listens is priceless.

"Wonder Boys" - "Even though Poe and I were not what you might call sympatico, that's no reason he had to take two in the chest!"

"Se7en" - "Ernest Hemingway once wrote, 'The world is a fine place, and worth fighting for.' I agree with the second part."

"Forrest Gump" - Forrest has to fly to Washington, a-gain, and he has to shake hands with the president, a-gain.

"Pleasantville" - With the whisper of a breeze on the soundtrack, Paul Walker glimpses the single red rose, and movie quietly begins to work its magic.

"The Sixth Sense" - The barometer drops. The woman in the bathrobe strides across the screen. And the audience jumps.

"Duel" - Dennis Weaver finally gets the drop on the evil trucker and sits on the edge of the cliff at peace. (It's the first time in the film his inner voice has finally shut up.)

"12 Monkeys" - After Bruce Willis leaves the scene, the stooge complains of being assulted by "some kinda crazy fuckin' dentist!"

"Grave of the Fireflies" - The cremation scene extends from afternoon to dusk to night, and still he sits by the embers.

"Before Sunset" - The two final lines of the movie. Unconscionable for certain critics (like Roger Ebert) to spoil them.

"Minority Report" - A bubble gives away Tom Cruise's hiding place, and the spider who notices is animated perfectly.

"William Shakespeare's Romeo + Juliet" - It's a popular moment: The lovers catch first glimpse of one another through the aquarium, and the film briefly slows down long enough to be beautiful.

"The Nightmare Before Christmas" - Jack's plan lies in fiery ruin in the graveyard, but his melancholy song gradually turns the plot towards redemption.

"Midnight in the Garden of Good and Evil" - John Cusack and Alison Eastwood know exactly who to call upon when they need someone who can make a scene.

"Willow" - Warwick Davis does a double-take at Val Kilmer when he first sees the golden suit of armor.

"What Planet Are You From?" - Annette Bening: "We can't raise him on your planet! How do I know what the schools are like?" Garry Shandling: "We're a thousand years more advanced than you; whattya think the schools are like?"

"Terminator 2: Judgment Day" - In the special edition, Edward Furlong tries to teach Arnold Schwarzenegger how to smile, but just like everything else, the killing machine doesn't do it gracefully.

E. M. | May 9, 2005
[hidden by request]

Scott Hardie | May 9, 2005
Point taken. :-) But the longest comment to date came from John Gunter, when he quoted the entire list of 400 "Best Movie Quotes" candidates. (link) The longest original-content comment came from yours truly several years ago, when some dark aspect of the New Years spirit possessed me to write up my remembrances for the entire year 2001. (link) Did I somehow think I had it in me to do this every year? That was back when TC was a blog, anyway, when I wrote that kind of self-involved nonsense every day (just not usually that much of it).

Patrick Little | May 9, 2005
Hmm...wonder if there was anything else you could do with your time... :)

Scott Hardie | May 9, 2005
I was wondering if you were going to say that. :-P :-)

Patrick Little | May 9, 2005
Sorry you gave me too good an opening...

Steve West | May 9, 2005
I'll play your little reindeer game. Although, most of mine are dialogue driven.

The Bad News Bears - The unveiling of the new uniform shirts with the sponsor "Chico's Bail Bonds"

Amadeus - Salieri being wheeled through the asylum while he absolves everyone.

Animal House - Kevin Bacon's pre-flattened statement, "Remain calm, all is well."

True Grit - Lucky Ned Pepper's comment that made Rooster Cogburn so mad, "I call that bold talk for a one-eyed fat man."

A League of Their Own - Tom Hanks nails Stilwell Angel in the face with the baseball glove.

Patton - "No bastard ever won a war by dying for their country. He won it by making the other poor dumb bastard die for his country."

Midnight Run - Robert DeNiro to Charles Grodin, "If you don't co-operate, you're gonna suffer from fistophobia."

Groundhog Day - Bill Murray's wrecked car surrounded by police officers as he rolls down the window and asks, "Too early for flapjacks?"

The Outlaw Josey Wales - After spitting Tobaccy juice on the carpetbagger's coat, "How's it with stains?"

The African Queen - Humphrey Bogart emerges from the river, covered with leeches, after exhausting himself dragging the boat. After sculling the boat for a few feet, he and Katherie Hepburn share a heart-breaking look when they both realize that he must get back in the water.

Jaws - Roy Scheider contemplates showing his appendectomy scar and changes his mind.

Tombstone - Doc Holliday (Val Kilmer) - "I know, let's have a spelling contest."

Young Frankenstein - "What hump?"

There's Something About Mary - Caught in the zipper.

The Godfather - Marlon Brando's line said without intentional irony, "I mean, we're not murderers, despite of what this undertaker says."

Charly - Miss Kinnian's desperate search for Charly leads her to the playground.

The Empire Strikes Back - "Who's scruffy lookin'?"

Children of a Lesser God - Marlee Maitlin's reply to William Hurt's demand that she, "Speak to me!"

The Wizard of Oz - Dorothy: He said oil can. Scarecrow: Oil can what?

Beau Geste - The opening scene of all the dead soldiers propped up in the gun turrets.

Michael Paul Cote | May 9, 2005
OK, I'll start but reserve the right to add on to my list.

Princess Bride - "Inconceivable" "I don't think that word means what you think it means."

Galaxy Quest - the look on everyone's face when the pig gets transported to the ship inside out.

Blazing Saddles - the campfire and bean scene (sorry I'm a sucker for fart jokes)

Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back - George Carlin working the "rule of the road"

Silverado - Paden patiently loading his barely working six shooter while bullets are flying through his crotch.

A Fish Called Wanda - John Cleese answering the door naked to find a family waiting.

A Fish Called Wanda 2 - K-K-K-Ken running down Kevin Kline with the steam roller

The Patriot - When Mel Gibson's daughter finally speaks to him, begging him not to leave "I'll say anything you want, just don't go"

Something About Mary - dog out the window & hair gel

Shreck 2 - Puss n Boots hair ball

Robots - Metal beings trying to do armpit farts

X Men - "Would you prefer yellow spandex"

Jackie Mason | May 9, 2005
[hidden by request]

Anna Gregoline | May 9, 2005
1. Ferris Bueller's Day Off - "You killed the car" because when I was little and watched it for the first time, I said the exact line right before they said it! And that mad dash at the end always makes me happy.

2. Alien - the part at the end where she is starting the "blow up the ship" procedure - I've always been fascinated on how complicated and realistic-looking that set-up was - of COURSE a ship's "self-destruct" mechanism would be insanely complicated - you wouldn't want to do it by mistake!

3. American Beauty - "I rule!"

4. Star Wars - Garbage compactor with the monster eyeball

5. Wisconsin Death Trip - the window smashing woman's face upon smashing on of the windows

6. The Red Violin - realization moment at the end

7. Box of Moonlight - Backwards bicycle

8. Terminator 2 - Ms. Connor's daring escape

9. Fargo - When Steve Buscemi is bleeding from the face/neck and the parking garage guy asks for his ticket and he just LOOKS at him.

10. Falling Down - "McDonald's" restaurant scene

John E Gunter | May 9, 2005
I'll start a list, that will grow to 100. Not in any particular order. Oh, and some of them might not be exact quotes, I'll have to double check those that I have on DVD.

Most are just single line quotes, but I have a few that are partial or whole scenes.

1. Star Trek V - The Final Frontier - "Excuse me, what does God need with a starship?"

2. Fifth Element - "Big bada boom!"

3. Lawnmowerman - "I am God here!"

4. Fifth Element - "You want something done, you've gotta do it yourself."

5 Lost in Space - "Evil knows evil, major."

6. RoboCop - "Come quietly, or there will be trouble!"

7. Gunmen - "Fu.. me!"

8. Highlander - Scene between the Highlander and the Kurgan in the church.

9. Buckaroo Banzai - "Evil from the 8th dimension!"

Anna Gregoline | May 9, 2005
11. Collateral - when the coyotes run across the highway

12. Super Size Me - Morgan's girlfriend talking about his new-found sexual inadequacy

13. Apollo 13 - when NASA is put to task to construct an air filter out of parts in the ship

14. Jurassic Park - T-Rex running after the tiny Jeep

15. Batman - Joker's transformation

16. The Fugitive - Train crash in beginning

17. Little Shop of Horrors - Song of the Dentist

18. Memento - story of other man and insulin shot

19. Toy Story - aliens in their chamber

20. Toy Story 2 - Toys crossing the street

21. The Shawshank Redemption - Tunneling out, the poster over it

22. Pulp Fiction - The Cleaner part where they are arguing about everything "Why am I on brain detail?!" and how Quentin is going on about how his wife is going to kill him

23. Goodfellas - Shot in the foot scene because of the revenge that actor gets to have later during his slot on Sopranos

24. The Silence of the Lambs - another realization moment movie for me

25. The Matrix - The Oracle

26. Fight Club - beginning parts of IKEA and talk of bland lives

27. Monty Python and the Holy Grail - "It's just a flesh wound!"

28. The Shining - where Jack Nicholas is backing up his wife across the HUGE room and up the stairs

29. Jaws - where the shark comes up into the boat near the end

30. Aliens - Ripley in the giant machine fighting the Alien

31. Alien III - the perspective shots from the creature's point of view

32. Twelve Monkeys - Brad Pitt's introduction as a mad man in the asylum

33. Lost in Translation - Bill Murray on the treadmill

34. Ed Wood - when he appears in a dress on set like nothing is different about him

35. Arsenic and Old Lace - Cary Grant's realization moment!

36. Scarface - amazing fight scene near the beginning - uh, chainsaw?

37. Shaun of the Dead - how everything goes back to normal and the T.V. announcer is talking about the events that transpired

38. War Games - any close up shots of the old technology - this movie only gets better with time!

39. Spaceballs - "combing the dessert" Cheesy, but I laughed so hard when I saw that part. I love giant objects.

40. So I Married an Axe Murderer - Meat shop and when he meets the roommate/sister? and his towel falls off mid-hug

41. Grosse Point Blank - Fight scene with John Cusack? - can we say HOT?

42. Identity - point where woman is hit by the car

43. Minority Report - Eyeballs out

44. Mothman Prophecies - accident re-creation (No idea why, but this movie scared the dickens out of me - I watched it at a friend's house and ran all the way home in the dark).

45. First Knight - in the woods with the rain falling and he shows her how to drink from a cupped leaf

E. M. | May 9, 2005
[hidden by request]

Jackie Mason | May 10, 2005
[hidden by request]

Amy Austin | May 10, 2005
This is kind of hard to do without borrowing from above – so many good moments already mentioned! But I’ll try hard not to repeat them here (no particular order, of course – that would be making it *too* hard!):

1. “Radio” – The last game of Radio’s first season with the team: it’s half-time in the locker room, and Johnny – Coach Jones’s (Ed Harris’s) surliest player and Radio’s tormenter – asks if he can "get the ball sometime tonight". Radio picks up a football and places it in his lap, pats him on the head, and says, “There you go – there’s you ball…”

2. “Rush Hour” – And speaking of a black man’s radio…

3. Also, “Fifth Element” – I enjoyed almost every scene with Chris Tucker the most… but – and I think that most here would wholeheartedly agree – there’s only so much of him I can take beyond the first viewing of these two movies.

(okay, going alphabetical now… just ‘cause it’s easy):

4. “Better Off Dead” – “Now that's a real shame when folks be throwin' away a perfectly good white boy like that.” (and) “He keeps putting his testicles all over me.” And... the most haunting line in film history: “Two dollars!” (Almost makes me wish I worked at a toll booth where that was the fare. Course, I’d be pissed when they hiked it!)

5. “Big Fish” – Admittedly, I get a little verklempt when Dad dies, and his bitter son finally develops an appreciation for the Whopper, cooking up one that makes them both proud.

6. “Birthday Girl” – He asks her in the car if she’s a giraffe, and she says “Yes.” The reciprocal question in the end is so cute and funny, since he really is oblivious.

7. “Bodyguard” – Okay, so it’s a cheesy Costner flick… but you gotta’ admit… that scene with the katana is pretty f’king cool!

8. “Boogie Nights” – Yep, the big reveal…. I mean, c’mon – who among us wasn’t curious as all hell and asking themselves the same question throughout the whole thing???

9. “Bruce Almighty” – “Rockafeller Skank”, ass-dwelling monkey, and possessed anchorman… those are the highlights. Oh yeah, and Morgan Freeman’s line about scaring Gandhi into his fast – priceless.

10. “Caddyshack” – Think I already said how I feel about the Spackler monologues (not to be confused with "The Vagina Monologues").

Amy Austin | May 10, 2005
11. “Cast Away” – Another of those “remote control-less” movies. And every bit as much the star as Hanks (who can’t stifle a tear when he’s lost at sea?)… Wilson.

12. “Crying Game” – Once again… the big (or not so?) reveal. Suck-ah!!!

13. “Erin Brockovich” – “They’re called ‘boobs’, Ed.”

14. “Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas” – Any one of his crazy, hallucinogenic trips… take your pick. The bats was probably the funniest, though.

15. “Forrest Gump” – The end. “Forrest Lump in my Throat”… every time.

16. “Gangs of New York” – The closing scene with U2’s “Hands that Built America” playing. This is one of, if not THE, most poignant closes of all time, I find it absolutely gripping and perfect in every way, right down to the typography of the credits.

17. “Ghostbusters” – “Cats and dogs, living together. Mass hysteria!” (and) “Ray… when someone asks you if you're a god, you say ‘YES’.”

18. “Gladiator” – As much as it sucks… the reunion with his family.

19. “Green Mile” – Cut to Duncan’s character watching the old movie… instant tears.

20. “Gone in 60 Seconds” – “Which is better: stealing cars, or having sex?” (Like we don’t know the answer comin' to that one…); also, “Party Up (Up in Here)” – the snake in the Hummer scene.

Amy Austin | May 10, 2005
21. “Groundhog Day” – too many to name… once again, Bill Murray is a comic genius.

22. “Heathers” – “Eskimoooo.” “Fuck me gently with a chainsaw…” “Pretend you’re a missionary saving a colony of cootie victims.” Also, final scene with Veronica (Winona) lighting her cigarette by the blast of explosives strapped to J.D. (Slater).

23. “Heartbreak Ridge” – So many good lines in this movie! “Stitch” (Van Peebles), next to Highway, on the bus to boot camp: “Wooo… she got some angry titties! Now, that’s what I call ‘hos-tile projectiles’!” Gunny Highway [after firing live rounds *very* close]: “This is the AK-47 Assault Rifle, the preferred weapon of our enemy. It makes a distinctive sound when fired.” [Upon regaining consciousness, when his men think he might be dead]: “Just because we're holding hands doesn't mean we'll be taking warm showers together until the wee hours of the morning.” Typical military mind-fuck, true-to-life: First day of PT, he tells the rag-tag group that they will wear their shirts uniformly, or not at all. Next day, they all have on the same shirt, but different from his… he makes ‘em take it off. This continues until Stitch is clever enough to get the low-down from the bar-tending lady friend that lays his clothes out, and they finally show up wearing the same shirts as Highway.

24. “Highlander” – Personally, I’m always especially tickled by two scenes: first, in the rowboat with Sean Connery, when they exchange insults (“haggis”, “billy goat”, “Spanish peacock”), and then Lambert is dumped overboard – even though he “can’t swim” (“Help me, I’m drowning!”) – to prove his immortality to him… then his underwater revelation (and accompanying chuckle), quickly followed by the (not-so) devious plan to kill Ramirez with his broadsword cracks me up; second, the 18th century pistol dual where a drunken Connor is killed over and over again ‘til dawn, when he finally “beseeches” his challenger to "stop!" and apologizes for calling his wife a “bloated warthog” – followed by same hilarious chortle and a bid “good day”… makes me laugh out loud *every* time.

25. “Indiana Jones & the Last Crusade” – Best sequel joke ever: when he & Elsa are in the catacombs, climbing through rats and water and they come across a painting of the Ark of the Covenant. She asks, “What’s this?” He tells her, “The Ark of the Covenant.” “Are you sure?” “Pretty sure…”

26. “Intolerable Cruelty” – One of my favorite opening credits and, of course, “I nailed his ass.”

27. “Jaws” – Captain Quint… now there’s a real “old Navy” man. (Then there was the added pleasure of watching it underway on the Lincoln, while serving under real-life Capt. – now Admiral – QUINN… we all got a pretty big chuckle out of imagining him being eaten by a great big shark off his own vessel. Sigh… ah, fantasy.

28. “Jerry Maguire” – Ambassador of Kwan.

29. “Joe vs. the Volcano” – His desk lamp… it’s like a mini-“Office Space” statement, and I wish I could find one exactly like it! “I am a flibbertigibbet.” The floating luggage that they vow to take with them everywhere they ever go.

30. “Joy Luck Club” – The two biggest tear-jerking movie moments EVER: her father telling her the real story of leaving the babies behind, and the reunion with them, all grown up and expecting to meet their mother… God, I’m almost ready to cry just writing about it!

Amy Austin | May 10, 2005
31. “Jurassic Park” – Nearly all the best lines from this one are Jeff Goldblum’s. My faves: “But, John… if the Pirates of the Caribbean breaks down, the pirates don't eat the tourists.” [Jeep chase] “Must go faster.” “You think they'll have that on the tour?” “Boy, do I hate being right all the time!” “There. Look at this. See? See? I'm right again. Nobody could've predicted that Dr. Grant would suddenly, suddenly jump out of a moving vehicle.” (Okay, sorry… I borrowed one of Anna’s moments here – but I just couldn’t leave it off!) Favorite non-Ian Malcolm line – comes from Muldoon, the raptor hunter: “Clever girl.” Right before he’s eaten.

32. “Ladykillers” – Those who accuse Tom Hanks of overacting his part in this just don’t “get” this movie. It’s totally frickin’ hilarious and homiletic at the same time… it’s *meant* to be overdone! The “General” was my favorite ladykiller, though.

33. “Legend” – Tim Curry is the world’s best villain, comedic or otherwise. “What have we here… a lit-tle BO-Y?!!!”

34. “Lion King” – Aside from the obvious references to a certain other voice-of-James-Earl-Jones-is-my-father movie… the Hyenas: “…Mufasa!” [shuddering at the name] “Oooh, say it again!” “Mu-FASSSAH!” [bigger shudders] Shenzi: “What, you want me to go in there and come out looking like you, Cactus Butt?”

35. “Little Mermaid” – Combing her hair with a fork at the dinner table… love it! Sebastian singing “Kiss the Girl”.

36. “Little Nicky” – A mildly funny movie, except for Peter Dante & Jonathan Loughran as the two idiot/stoner/metal-head devil-worshipping/Satanist groupie/flunkies. (Like my touch of Slash?) Harvey Keitel as Old Nick is a nice touch, though.

37. “Long Kiss Goodnight” – Samuel Jackson being distracted long enough (“Here, look at this…”) to tear the dressing off his oozy wounded torso.

38. “Love & a 45” – Peter Fonda (complete with electronic voice box, before “South Park” made it funny) & Ann Wedgeworth as Vergil & Thaylene Cheatham, the hippy/dippy/trippy parents of Starlene (“Star”) Cheatham. This is a tamer (and funnier) version of “Natural Born Killers” (same year!) – for those of you who didn’t like the Oliver Stone take… maybe you’d enjoy this one more. “White trash”, done Hollywood style!

39. “Mary Poppins” – This movie is the whole reason to love carousels.

40. “Meet Joe Black” – Aside from being one of the few films to make me cry, I found the “death & taxes” line to be a terrifically funny moment.

Amy Austin | May 10, 2005
41. “Meet the Parents” – Jinx uses Grandma’s ashes for kitty litter, Focker’s accidental arson of the overly-lacquered gazebo (made totally hilarious by the right music), and, of course, all of the airline scenes… especially the last one.

42. “Men in Black” – The “Noisy Cricket”.

43. “Mission Impossible II” – Nothing says “badass” quite like free-climbing at altitude in Utah.

44. “Monty Python & the Holy Grail” -- "Follow, but follow only if ye be men of valor! For the entrance to this cave is guarded by a creature so fowl, so cruel that no man yet has fought with it and lived. Bones of four fifty men lie strewn about its lair! So, brave knights, if you do doubt your courage, or your strength, come nay further, for death awaits you all...with nasty big pointy teeth!"

45 “Moonstruck” – [Cher, at confession] “Twice I took the name of the Lord in vain, once I slept with the brother of my fiance, and once I bounced a check at the liquor store, but that was really an accident.” “Then it's not a sin. But... what was that second thing you said, Loretta?” Cher’s double slap: “Snap out of it!” And of course… Cosmo’s moon! (Oh yeah, and Olympia Dukakis to the old father-in-law: “Old man, you give those dogs another piece of my food and I'm gonna’ kick you 'til you're dead!”)

46. “My Best Friend’s Wedding” – Sorry… *have* to second Jackie on the Dionne Warwick here!

47. “Never Ending Story” – When everyone gets brought back from the Nothing, of course!

48. “O Brother, Where Art Thou?” – Got to second Scott here on the “Dapper Dan”… while in the Navy, had to keep that hair back smartly, and with my fine, flyaway hair, I had a pomade that I felt exactly the same way about – believe it!!! Also, when he calls his wife a “succubus” was especially funny to us… E had been calling me that for at least a year before that movie came out!

49. “Office Space” –
Peter: “What if we're still doin' this when we're 50?” Samir: “It would be nice to have that kind of job security."

Bob Slydell: “What would you say ya’ do here?” Tom Smykowski: “Well look, I already told you! I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to! I have people skills! I am good at dealing with people! Can't you understand that? What the hell is wrong with you people?”

Bob Porter: “Looks like you've been missing a lot of work lately.” Peter: “I wouldn't say I've been missing it, Bob!"

Arrrgghh… Ditto on the copier! In fact, we had a particularly troublesome photo film processor that we often said we’d like to “do an ‘Office Space’ on”. We “middle management” petty officers also started calling our weekly reports to our Chief and DIVO (division officer) TPS Reports… which, as Supply PO, I went a step further with calling the “Toilet Paper Supply” Report. They got a kick out of it... but it didn’t keep me from having to come in on Saturday. Or Sunday.

50. “Pretty Woman” – So it’s another cheeser. But I really like it when she gets revenge on the snotty saleswomen in the boutique by walking in with her big money shopping bags, asking if they worked on commission, and saying, “BIG mistake…” I also love opera night: when Richard Gere snaps the necklace box on her gloved hand (supposedly a real improv moment that caught Roberts off-guard, which I believe, because it looks so authentic) and the “…better than Pirates of Penzance” cover that he gives for her comment to the old lady.

Amy Austin | May 10, 2005
51. “Princess Bride” – Okay, last dupe, I swear… but it would be “inconceivable” to leave this one off. Andre the Giant delivered his lines with perfection in this movie – I loved him opposite Cary Elwes and that crazy lisping “Sicilian” Vizzini! (Oh yeah, and the ROUS… you already know I’m a sucker for fake animal humor – and what is this, a midget/dwarf in a rat suit??? – but what makes this even funnier is that I ran across a “Rous” in the Navy… remember that conversation we had about funny/odd names? This one is pretty damn funny.)

52. “Pulp Fiction” – So I lied (“inconceivable!”). “Dead Nigger Storage” and “brain detail” are, indeed, the best. Specifically: "I'm a mushroom-cloud-layin' motherfucker, motherfucker! Every time my fingers touch brain I'm Superfly TNT; I'm the Guns of the Navarone!" But then, Samuel Jackson is *always* good for a line, no matter what movie he’s in…

53. “Pushing Tin” – Something about having worked on a flight deck and having seen the injuries of guys who’ve been “blown” makes it especially funny to me to see these crazy fuckers standing in the line of jet exhaust, just waiting for it to happen. I had the same reaction as their boss – laughing my ass off and wanting to hit “replay” over and over again… which made me laugh even harder!

54. “Real Genius” – When they turn that house into one gigantic JiffyPop.

55. “Seven” – Holds a special place in my heart for being the “first date” movie with an ex. We’re still friendly.

56. “Sleepless in Seattle” – Tom Hanks and Victor Garber sniveling about Trini Lopez in “The Dirty Dozen”… even makes Rita Wilson’s character laugh.

57. “Sling Blade” – Billy Bob at his best. (Except for “Pushing Tin”…) Especially when he kills Dwight Yoakum’s asshole of a character.

58. “Snatch” – Brad Pitt speaking “pike” gibberish and, of course… the dog. (Always the dog.)

59. “So I Married An Axe Murderer” – A second vote, but different moments for me this time: “Harriet, Harriet… hard-hearted harbinger of haggis…” (I bought the soundtrack primarily for this!); when he runs into the closet after she makes him a health shake; “HEED!”; and Steven Wright as the narcoleptic pilot who’s “never flown at night” – hysterical.

60. “Star Wars” – It was always a personal favorite of mine when C-3PO hears their cries of joy at the successful stopping of the trash compactor room and interprets them as the death throes/cries of them being crushed. I imagined that if R2-D2 were human, he would be rolling his eyes and/or laughing his ass off at 3PO.

Amy Austin | May 10, 2005
61. “Swingers” – Favreaus’s treatment of the “3-day rule” of phone calls.

62. “Thelma & Louise” – They know from “hello” that Thelma’s moronic husband is with the police. Despite what men say about this being a “man-hating chick flick”, there are actually some real good guys in the movie… it’s just too bad that it isn’t enough to save them.

63. “Titanic” – Hard to pick just one, but I think that the charcoal drawing scene is so sexy and innocent, all at once… very romantic.

64. “Top Gun” – Maverick “keeping up foreign relations” and Goose hating it when she’s lost that loving feeling. Honorable mention goes to shirtless volleyball.

65. “Traffic” – Benicio Del Toro trying hard to be a stand-up kinda’ guy.

66. “The Truman Show” – The spotlight falling out of the sky reminds me of the Coke bottle in “The Gods Must Be Crazy”… another comedy classic.

67. “Wayne’s World 2” – Robert Patrick’s T-2 self-parody.

68. “What Lies Beneath” – The scene where she rises up out of the lake scared the piss out of both of us (me & E)!

69. “When Harry Met Sally” – The intentions of setting up their best friends with each other goes horribly astray, and Carrie Fisher & Bruno Kirby end up together. But first, each one agrees to “give it some time” for appearances’/feelings’ sake. In typically tacky singleton-with-priorities (getting laid) fashion, they hop the first available cab and speed away together. Then – in even more typically married-with-priorities fashion (home décor) – they fight about his Roy Rogers wagon-wheel table, causing Harry to spew about the ugliness of divorce.

Well, this looks like a good enough number to stop on… after all, it also happens to be my percentage of goo grid completion (I believe?)! (I don’t know what *y’all* were thinking!!!)

Of course, this is by no means a complete & comprehensive list – I don’t think it ever *could* be – but just what came up. However, I reserve the right NOT to add to it as I see fit… since I believe that I am quite spent now! It was fun, but… now I’m wondering how long Scott spent on *his* list – that was kind of work!!!

Scott Horowitz | May 10, 2005
Am I the only one that wants to contribute to this list but just doesn't have the time to?

Lori Lancaster | May 10, 2005
[hidden by request]

Scott Horowitz | May 10, 2005
Here's one. The opening scene of the Great Muppet Caper, where Gonzo talks about plummeting from the hot air balloon.

Jackie Mason | May 10, 2005
[hidden by request]

Scott Horowitz | May 10, 2005
Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered County: Spock: "There is an ancient Vulcan proverb. Only Nixon could go to China."
Chang: "We need breathing room."
Kirk: "Earth. Hitler, 1938."

Amy Austin | November 25, 2005
Okay... on second viewing of "Money Pit" during my "Happy Hanksgiving", I was reminded of another great fake animal moment: when Shelley Long opens the dumbwaiter, and the raccoon jumps out at her... followed by the crumbling of the staircase as Tom Hanks tries to come to her rescue. Nothing makes me laugh quite like someone running around with a fake animal "attacking" them -- gets me *every* time. Kinda' makes me wonder how I'd react if I saw the real thing. ;-D

Amy Austin | March 22, 2008
Well, a 3AM viewing of Bridget Jones' Diary reminded me of yet another classic moment: Bridget chasing Darcy down the street in her (fake animal!) leopard-print "genuinely tiny knickers" -- how can one not laugh at this?

Incidentally, I landed there after changing the channel from the first 20 minutes of Munich, which proved to be just too much for me at that moment -- especially after reading that fucked up article that Tony posted -- and was plenty grateful for the chuckle.

Tony Peters | March 22, 2008
End of Closer when Jude Law's character see's Alice Ayers' tomb stone and realizes that Jane was telling the truth about here name and probably everything

Jacob Martin | March 22, 2008
i probably have many more but i just cant think.....



Monty Python and the Holy Grail- There are some who call me.....Tim????

Kung Pow: Enter the Fist- "Ill have a pound of nuts please" "THATS ALOT OF NUTS!!!! THAT'LL BE FOUR BUCKS BABY YOU WANT FRIES WITH THAT?!!?!?!?"

Tenacious D and the Pick of Destiny- Ive had this birthmark since i was born!

Young Frankenstein- the scene of Gene Wilder and the beast doing a duet of Taco's puttin on the ritz

Spaceballs- Whats the matter Colonel Sanders....chicken?

Blazing Saddles- where are all the white women at?

Erik Bates | March 22, 2008
[hidden by request]

Jacob Martin | March 22, 2008
lol its the way i was raised...i used to watch mel brooks constantly and also i used to stay up till late and watch monty pythons flying circus...so blame my mom

Tony Peters | March 22, 2008
Blazing Saddles has so many classic lines...."Badges we don't need no stinking Badges" "Nobody move or the N!^^@& gets it" "Candy gram for Mongo" "Mongo is just pawn in big game of life"

Aaron Shurtleff | March 24, 2008
I could never get to 100, but the best scene in a movie, to me, was in the movie Angus (which I loved, as odd as it sounds). I'm trying to be super spoiler free, but there is a scene in the park, where the main character, Angus, walks over to the chess board, and just symbolically lays down the king. It gets me every time...not that that's saying much! ;)


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