Cold Turkey
by Scott Hardie on November 29, 2009

Last night, we visited friends to celebrate "orphans Thanksgiving," for those of us who don't travel north to see our families. My family lives right here in Sarasota and we already had a nice holiday dinner on the beach (mmm grouper), but I wasn't about to miss a gathering with friends. The food was good and the company was great, but what I didn't expect was the cold, or I'd have put on more than a t-shirt and light slacks. Our friends live in too small of a house to host a dinner for 15+ people, so we sat on the back porch for hours and ate there. I shivered and tucked my hands under my armpits for warmth. (After eating! Sheesh.)
Here's the part where northerners make fun of Floridians for complaining about any kind of cold. "I ride my motorcycle when it's below freezing, without any face protection!" Sorry, but when you boast that to a Floridian, the Floridian doesn't feel like the dumb one in the conversation. Every northerner who moves here used to make fun of Floridians too, until they got acclimated to the warm climate. After that, a cool breeze feels like ice on your skin. Cold is relative. When Chicagoans complain about a wind chill below 0 degrees, somewhere an Eskimo thinks they're being a bunch of wimps.
Maybe this is just psyching myself up for a trip up north. Kelly and I are trying to get some time off so we can visit her family for Christmas. I want to see old friends and family too, but forgive me for preferring to visit in the summertime instead. I spent twenty bitter, frozen winters in Illinois, and they're the main reason why I left. If we have the chance, I'd like to pay a visit to certain Illinoisans reading this, but can we eat indoors please?
Four Replies to Cold Turkey
Steve West | November 29, 2009
Oh, yes. Retiring where it's warm. I don't even know exactly why I'm waiting for that. I shiver when I open the stinkin' refrigerator.
Lori Lancaster | November 30, 2009
[hidden by author request]
Amy Austin | December 2, 2009
This is one Floridian who will never make fun of anyone for being cold. Even after returning from Rhode Island's nine-month-long chills, I, too, get "cold" as soon as it drops below 60. It was a welcome temperature up there, yes... but this isn't Rhode Island, and this house wasn't built like it's RI, either! ;-p
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Trekkers Will Understand
The Netflix summary of Deep Space Nine (Season Two): "Commander Benjamin Sisko (Avery Brooks) heads the crew of Deep Space Nine -- including Odo (Rene Auberjonois), Worf (Michael Dom), Dax (Terry Farrell) and others -- as it travels through space, trying to keep both the ship and the areas it travels safe, secure and free. One of the first (and greatest) challenges the intrepid voyagers face is the violence of the Dominion, a group composed partially of the shape-shifting Changelings." Gee, I wonder why fans call this the most misunderstood of all Star Trek series. Go »
Dr. Jerk
I wish doctors would treat me like a person, instead of a fat person. No matter what complaint sends me to the doctor in the first place, within minutes, every visit turns into a conversation about how I need to lose weight, and what will happen if I don't. Like I haven't tried a thousand times to lose weight. Go »
Love, Scott
Today is my mother Joan's 70th birthday. I wish her all the happiness in the world, but the occasion brings me feelings of guilt, for I have nothing to give her. Partly that because of bad timing, since she's on a cruise with her boyfriend Andy at the moment. Go »
WGW: If It's Good Enough for Dan Marino, It's Good Enough for Me
This is more like Weight-Gain Wednesday after a week and a half with Kelly, bouncing around Sarasota restaurants and Disney World. No matter how many thousands of calories I burned walking around that theme park for three days, I'm sure I consumed twice as many, and that was just in fudge from the Main Street Confectionery. Now that I'm back and I've done some very scientific research – asking a friend whether she hated one – I have chosen NutriSystem over Medifast as the exclusive supplier of my every meal. Go »
Snowbound
I'm off to Springfield for the weekend to help Kelly move. YAY SNOW. Back late Monday night. Go »
Jackie Mason | November 29, 2009
[hidden by author request]