Cold Turkey | Tragic Comedy

Last night, we visited friends to celebrate "orphans Thanksgiving," for those of us who don't travel north to see our families. My family lives right here in Sarasota and we already had a nice holiday dinner on the beach (mmm grouper), but I wasn't about to miss a gathering with friends. The food was good and the company was great, but what I didn't expect was the cold, or I'd have put on more than a t-shirt and light slacks. Our friends live in too small of a house to host a dinner for 15+ people, so we sat on the back porch for hours and ate there. I shivered and tucked my hands under my armpits for warmth. (After eating! Sheesh.)

Here's the part where northerners make fun of Floridians for complaining about any kind of cold. "I ride my motorcycle when it's below freezing, without any face protection!" Sorry, but when you boast that to a Floridian, the Floridian doesn't feel like the dumb one in the conversation. Every northerner who moves here used to make fun of Floridians too, until they got acclimated to the warm climate. After that, a cool breeze feels like ice on your skin. Cold is relative. When Chicagoans complain about a wind chill below 0 degrees, somewhere an Eskimo thinks they're being a bunch of wimps.

Maybe this is just psyching myself up for a trip up north. Kelly and I are trying to get some time off so we can visit her family for Christmas. I want to see old friends and family too, but forgive me for preferring to visit in the summertime instead. I spent twenty bitter, frozen winters in Illinois, and they're the main reason why I left. If we have the chance, I'd like to pay a visit to certain Illinoisans reading this, but can we eat indoors please?

Four Replies to Cold Turkey

Jackie Mason | November 29, 2009
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Steve West | November 29, 2009
Oh, yes. Retiring where it's warm. I don't even know exactly why I'm waiting for that. I shiver when I open the stinkin' refrigerator.

Lori Lancaster | November 30, 2009
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Amy Austin | December 2, 2009
This is one Floridian who will never make fun of anyone for being cold. Even after returning from Rhode Island's nine-month-long chills, I, too, get "cold" as soon as it drops below 60. It was a welcome temperature up there, yes... but this isn't Rhode Island, and this house wasn't built like it's RI, either! ;-p

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