Last night, we visited friends to celebrate "orphans Thanksgiving," for those of us who don't travel north to see our families. My family lives right here in Sarasota and we already had a nice holiday dinner on the beach (mmm grouper), but I wasn't about to miss a gathering with friends. The food was good and the company was great, but what I didn't expect was the cold, or I'd have put on more than a t-shirt and light slacks. Our friends live in too small of a house to host a dinner for 15+ people, so we sat on the back porch for hours and ate there. I shivered and tucked my hands under my armpits for warmth. (After eating! Sheesh.)

Here's the part where northerners make fun of Floridians for complaining about any kind of cold. "I ride my motorcycle when it's below freezing, without any face protection!" Sorry, but when you boast that to a Floridian, the Floridian doesn't feel like the dumb one in the conversation. Every northerner who moves here used to make fun of Floridians too, until they got acclimated to the warm climate. After that, a cool breeze feels like ice on your skin. Cold is relative. When Chicagoans complain about a wind chill below 0 degrees, somewhere an Eskimo thinks they're being a bunch of wimps.

Maybe this is just psyching myself up for a trip up north. Kelly and I are trying to get some time off so we can visit her family for Christmas. I want to see old friends and family too, but forgive me for preferring to visit in the summertime instead. I spent twenty bitter, frozen winters in Illinois, and they're the main reason why I left. If we have the chance, I'd like to pay a visit to certain Illinoisans reading this, but can we eat indoors please?

Four Replies to Cold Turkey

Jackie Mason | November 29, 2009
[hidden by author request]

Steve West | November 29, 2009
Oh, yes. Retiring where it's warm. I don't even know exactly why I'm waiting for that. I shiver when I open the stinkin' refrigerator.

Lori Lancaster | November 30, 2009
[hidden by author request]

Amy Austin | December 2, 2009
This is one Floridian who will never make fun of anyone for being cold. Even after returning from Rhode Island's nine-month-long chills, I, too, get "cold" as soon as it drops below 60. It was a welcome temperature up there, yes... but this isn't Rhode Island, and this house wasn't built like it's RI, either! ;-p

Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Risky Games

Here's plugging two games that I've been enjoying lately: Dice Wars is a good little miniature online game for one person, playable in about 20 minutes and very satisfying for its size. The text below the game explains the rules, but suffice to say, it's basically Risk but built to be played rapidly thanks to some rule simplification and a very swift AI. (Thanks for suggesting it, Joandy!) Go »

Meow Mix

Thanks Evgeni: Cat Music. Go »

Illinois, October 2012

Our road trip to see friends and family in Illinois was well worth it. The drive both ways was pleasant. I indulged in junk food like a man taking a break from six months of dieting (since my post-Atkins diet started in June, I've lost 50 pounds). Go »

What I Did on My Christmas Vacation

The last week and a half was some of the most fun I've had in a long time, and a much-needed vacation. I tend to take many short weekend trips each year rather than one long break, but it feels so good to be rejuvenated and rested for a change. "Christmas" came on Sunday the 23rd, dinner with my mom and Santa's usual generosity all around. Go »


It's been one year today since Kelly and I got married, but that feels strange to say, since it's been nineteen years today since our first date back in high school. I don't mind that it took us so long to get to this "first" anniversary; I'm just glad that we got here at last. We spent the day out feeding flamingos at a local animal sanctuary and eating at some favorite restaurants before I go back on diet tomorrow. Go »

Feeling Lucky

Yesterday was my 13th anniversary of dating Kelly. We've been through many ups and downs together, and those downs have to do with why we're not married yet, but I love her as much now as I ever have. Here are 13 things that have been a part my life for less time than we've been dating: - The Internet. Go »