Last night, we visited friends to celebrate "orphans Thanksgiving," for those of us who don't travel north to see our families. My family lives right here in Sarasota and we already had a nice holiday dinner on the beach (mmm grouper), but I wasn't about to miss a gathering with friends. The food was good and the company was great, but what I didn't expect was the cold, or I'd have put on more than a t-shirt and light slacks. Our friends live in too small of a house to host a dinner for 15+ people, so we sat on the back porch for hours and ate there. I shivered and tucked my hands under my armpits for warmth. (After eating! Sheesh.)

Here's the part where northerners make fun of Floridians for complaining about any kind of cold. "I ride my motorcycle when it's below freezing, without any face protection!" Sorry, but when you boast that to a Floridian, the Floridian doesn't feel like the dumb one in the conversation. Every northerner who moves here used to make fun of Floridians too, until they got acclimated to the warm climate. After that, a cool breeze feels like ice on your skin. Cold is relative. When Chicagoans complain about a wind chill below 0 degrees, somewhere an Eskimo thinks they're being a bunch of wimps.

Maybe this is just psyching myself up for a trip up north. Kelly and I are trying to get some time off so we can visit her family for Christmas. I want to see old friends and family too, but forgive me for preferring to visit in the summertime instead. I spent twenty bitter, frozen winters in Illinois, and they're the main reason why I left. If we have the chance, I'd like to pay a visit to certain Illinoisans reading this, but can we eat indoors please?

Four Replies to Cold Turkey

Jackie Mason | November 29, 2009
[hidden by author request]

Steve West | November 29, 2009
Oh, yes. Retiring where it's warm. I don't even know exactly why I'm waiting for that. I shiver when I open the stinkin' refrigerator.

Lori Lancaster | November 30, 2009
[hidden by author request]

Amy Austin | December 2, 2009
This is one Floridian who will never make fun of anyone for being cold. Even after returning from Rhode Island's nine-month-long chills, I, too, get "cold" as soon as it drops below 60. It was a welcome temperature up there, yes... but this isn't Rhode Island, and this house wasn't built like it's RI, either! ;-p

Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Mars Needs Kitties

Thanks to Lori for sending me this: That gets me thinking: Do you think if people hadn't had the idea for crop circles until a decade later that the fad would have even happened? In this decade we have the tools on personal computers to fake images like this with photo-perfect results, and hoaxers could just distribute photos with the click of a mouse. Photos have been doctored for decades, of course, but now your grandma can do it, you know? Go »

Key Words

I wonder what would come up if you searched IMDb keywords for "train wreck"? Unbreakable? The Fugitive? Go »

WLW: Here's What You Do

No kooky doctor stories this week, as I've been left to my own care, or should I say, the care of everyone around me. I don't want to sound ungrateful, because I'm sincerely glad that people care about me enough to offer advice. It's just, there's a LOT of advice, from all directions, at the drop of a hat, and much of it conflicts with other advice. Go »

OK Glass

Last weekend, Kelly and I drove up to St. Petersburg with friends to see Ira Glass present a one-man stage show explaining how he makes This American Life on the radio. I had no prior familiarity with his work, having not heard the radio show unlike the fans that I went with, but I think it's long past time that I started listening to the celebrated series online. Go »


I enjoy safe hobbies like making websites, but there's something to be said for the dangerous ones: (link) Go »

Fuzzy Logic

Headline: Britney Spears goes bald. I'm her publicist. My client has an album coming out soon. Go »