Crash
by Scott Hardie on September 12, 2009

There are some dangerous intersections in our neighborhood, where trucks come barreling through after the light turns red. This morning, Kelly and I were waiting at the light when she dropped her sunglasses. "Fuck beans," she muttered, unbuckling her seat belt and leaning forward just as the light turned green. With trepidation, I glanced both ways, then rolled forward and coasted through the intersection, reaching the other side safely. When she buckled up again and I breathed a sigh of relief, she asked me what was the matter. I told her I had a terrible vision that we would be hit by a truck and her last words on this Earth would be "fuck beans."

One Reply to Crash

Justin Conner | September 12, 2009
Thats Hillarious, I can just picture that whole event.

Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Everybody Loves George

As long as everyone already knows I'm years behind the rest of the culture, can I recommend That's My Bush! before Dubya actually concludes his presidency? We just finished watching the short series; it starts weak but gets pretty strong by the end. Go »

Upstream Color

Every since seeing the strange and poetic Upstream Color, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I highly recommend it if you're in the mood for something weird and beautiful. After a very limited theatrical release in April, it jumped straight to VOD in May, and now it's on Netflix Streaming and Amazon Instant. Go »

Scottish Highlands

Seeing a man in a kilt, the thought occurred to me, "Ha ha! I wonder if anybody has come up with 'upkilt' porn?" Then I checked online. Go »

Illinois, October 2012

Our road trip to see friends and family in Illinois was well worth it. The drive both ways was pleasant. I indulged in junk food like a man taking a break from six months of dieting (since my post-Atkins diet started in June, I've lost 50 pounds). Go »

She Can Really Whip a Donkey's Ass with a Belt

I hate the Black-Eyed Peas. You hate the Black-Eyed Peas. But Alanis Morissette really hates the Black-Eyed Peas. Go »

Where the Hell I Have Been All Year, Part I

It's been a long hibernation and I'm ready to come out of the cave and see daylight again. For various reasons, I wouldn't talk about why I wasn't around much, and I didn't enjoy being secretive like that, especially since all three were sources of happiness for me. Anyway, I promised recently that I was about to come out of the closet concerning the three things that have occupied so much of my 2006, and it's time now. Go »