Crash
by Scott Hardie on September 12, 2009

There are some dangerous intersections in our neighborhood, where trucks come barreling through after the light turns red. This morning, Kelly and I were waiting at the light when she dropped her sunglasses. "Fuck beans," she muttered, unbuckling her seat belt and leaning forward just as the light turned green. With trepidation, I glanced both ways, then rolled forward and coasted through the intersection, reaching the other side safely. When she buckled up again and I breathed a sigh of relief, she asked me what was the matter. I told her I had a terrible vision that we would be hit by a truck and her last words on this Earth would be "fuck beans."

One Reply to Crash

Justin Conner | September 12, 2009
Thats Hillarious, I can just picture that whole event.

Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Screw the Braden River Post Office

I haven't written in this blog lately, and I hate to resume with a negative topic, but I need to vent and this makes a good outlet. I hate junk mail, as longtime TC users may recall from my many rants on the subject. Honestly, I've considered opening a storefront business that offers PO boxes to the public, and pre-filters your junk mail for you. Go »

Obama Criticizes Obama Over Rising Gas Prices

I was going to share this fake news article that I drafted in a chat with friends...Stopped at a DC-area gas station to fill up his motorcade, President Obama groaned as he watched the numbers climbing ever higher on the pump. "God, why don't I get off my ass and do something about the price of gas?" Go »

Day 86

The diet continues, but I haven't lost as much as I would like by now. Four pant sizes is something to be proud of, but three of them were lost in January, so you can understand my frustration. I've wound up taking a fourth meal most days, bringing me to ~1200 calories, and so far I've had a lot of trouble going back down to three. Go »

Jump to Conclusions

Walking through the store tonight, I came across this product... ...and upon seeing the little girl thinking of all the things she could do with her toy egg, I thought, BACK UP IN YO ASS WITH THE RESURREC-SHUN! Go »

Feeling Lucky

Yesterday was my 13th anniversary of dating Kelly. We've been through many ups and downs together, and those downs have to do with why we're not married yet, but I love her as much now as I ever have. Here are 13 things that have been a part my life for less time than we've been dating: - The Internet. Go »

Year of Disney

Kelly's been suggesting for a long time that we invest in annual passes to Disney World, since we live two hours' drive away. I finally wised up and listened to her, as some number-crunching showed that we would only need to spend three days there for the passes to pay for themselves. We placed the order and called it a Christmas gift to each other. Go »