Recently, Brenda made the mistake of asking me to fix the toilet. It seemed to have gunk in the thingy that supplies the water and would only filll if I poked it with a paper clip in the spout thingy. You can tell I'm a semi-professional because of all the technical jargon. Well, one hopelessly broken toilet later (after an hour of poking it with power tools, Brenda called the plumber and ordered a new toilet. I call it the flusherator 2000. I made a deal with Brenda for visitation rights (she can spend time with it only every other weekend) and have decided to convert the guest bathroom into my personal sanctum santorum. Now I need a TV in the floor before Final Four weekend and baseball season has just begun. Oh, joy! Ah bliss!


One Reply to Me and Al Bundy

Scott Hardie | April 2, 2013
You missed a chance to title this "Gunk in the Thingy."

Should we expect you to use Funeratic from inside the bathroom from now on? I'm sure I can scrounge up five bathroom-inspired goos, but you'll have to hold it until next season.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

All Aboard...

This week's trainwreck of links. Everything goes well with bacon. I repeat, everything goes well with bacon. Go »

Is This A Country Song Or What?

Playing a country song backwards, as the old joke goes, and your wife comes back, your dog is alive again, and your trucks rolls over onto its wheels. The Mickster has got it bad in Oscar week as his beloved chihuahua died in his arms. Not to make fun of what must have been a horrible event, but did he really need to display his mourning by attending a New York fashion show the very next day? Go »

It's 419, Do You Know Where Your Dealer Is?

It's the eve of 420 and you don't have to be high to enjoy the following links, but it couldn't hurt. When this clock goes into production, it will be featured in my den. Smart dog or dumb dog? Go »

Creepy Halloween Lodgings

These creepy places to stay during a Halloween vacation may be too late to consider this year but they're not going anywhere soon so keep them in mind for the future. You can't stay in all of these places but for those that you can, there's that extra layer of creepiness. The Haunted Hull House in Chicago. Go »

The Green Thing

While checking out at the grocery, I overheard the young cashier suggest to an older woman in front of me, that she should bring her own grocery bags because plastic bags weren’t good for the environment. The woman apologized and explained, “We didn’t have this green thing back in my early days.” The clerk responded, “That’s our problem today. Go »

Go Around or Go Over

Because Olivia's school is closed we've been forced to do home schooling along with her teacher doing Zoom three times each week. So lesson plans are still happening but her special education also includes speech therapy, occupational therapy and physical therapy. I don't do speech or occupational but I stepped in for physical. Go »

Happy anniversary!

Erik Bates joined Funeratic 20 years ago today.