Recently, Brenda made the mistake of asking me to fix the toilet. It seemed to have gunk in the thingy that supplies the water and would only filll if I poked it with a paper clip in the spout thingy. You can tell I'm a semi-professional because of all the technical jargon. Well, one hopelessly broken toilet later (after an hour of poking it with power tools, Brenda called the plumber and ordered a new toilet. I call it the flusherator 2000. I made a deal with Brenda for visitation rights (she can spend time with it only every other weekend) and have decided to convert the guest bathroom into my personal sanctum santorum. Now I need a TV in the floor before Final Four weekend and baseball season has just begun. Oh, joy! Ah bliss!


One Reply to Me and Al Bundy

Scott Hardie | April 2, 2013
You missed a chance to title this "Gunk in the Thingy."

Should we expect you to use Funeratic from inside the bathroom from now on? I'm sure I can scrounge up five bathroom-inspired goos, but you'll have to hold it until next season.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Let Loose The Pigeons!

I got a phone call today from my Service Coordinator of Prince George's County officially welcoming me and my daughter, Olivia, into the Autism Waiver program - a state funded program intended for families with an autistic child offering funds for state approved services such as Aqua therapy, Occupational community trips, Speech therapy and even respite for Brenda and I. This has been a nine year wait since getting a diagnosis for Olivia at age 2. The waiting list is horrific. Go »

Stay-cation Week V

My God, bowling has gotten expensive. Sorry to speak of the costs of things so much but hey, this is a getting a little ridiculous. One game cost me $17.00. Go »

Welcome To Steve's World

Is anyone else offended by the automatic deodorizing spray dispenser in public bathrooms? It offends me when I’m standing at the urinal and that’s when it decides to spritz. Like it’s somehow recognized that an emergency deodorizing event is occurring and needs attention. Go »

For Your Consideration...

So many actors are on their best behaviour come Oscar time because they don't want anything to interfere with their chances to win in this rare opportunity. The rarest of opportunities occurs this year for Mickey Rourke who is not exactly on a first name basis with Oscar nominations. And may never be there again. Go »

Out of the Closet and into the Stratosphere

So Tom Cruise wants to go into outer space and meet aliens. I think I can scrounge together a few bucks for a one-way ticket. Any other takers? Go »

The Texas Chili Cook-Off

Recently, at a Bowie Baysox baseball game, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Texas chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last minute, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans, probably) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. Go »