No matter how wrinkled I get. No matter how much money I ever make. No matter how desperate I become to restore the perception of my youth. I will never never never resort to any kind of cosmetic surgery. That lady looks like Rocky Dennis from Mask. Is that the look she was looking for? Obviously not but there it is. The horror, the horror...


One Reply to Halloween Post #2: Halloween Masks, For Real

Jackie Mason | October 2, 2007
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Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Random Thoughts While Stuck in Traffic

There's a serious traffic jam on the 495 Washington beltway that I happen to be stuck in. It's worse than stop & go, stop & go - it's more like stooooooop & go, stoooooooooooop & go. Trying to stay awake, my mind is wandering, giving me images and sounds. Go »

That Guy With The Glasses

Small representative sample of the films presented "in 5 seconds". Several are inspired by the original joke and many last more than 5 seconds, but all are abridged to hilarious result. These are my favorites: Rocky I, II, III, IV, V, & VI; Scarface; Snakes On A Plane; Titanic; and Gladiator. Go »

Ahnuld's Dog, Heinrich

"Heel, Heinrich!", commands the Governator. "Kiss my grossly over-developed ass," snarls Heinrich in return. Go »

I'll Have the Seven Deadly Sins Combo

Funny chart that shows the resultant interactions of each of the seven deadly sins. Go »

Sages And Fools

UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however. UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue? Go »

No Clowns On Halloween Allowed At My Door

Or "How Ronald McDonald Kicked My Ass" About ten years ago, shortly before Brenda and I got married, we attended a Halloween party at a friend's house. The primary reason to get together was obviously to dress up like we did when we were little but secondarily to get drunk as a sailor on shore leave. The standard "funny name" cocktails were offered like "sex on the beach" and "southern screw" and "raw sewage". Go »