When in college, I would go bar hopping with friends on occasion. We'd go to 5, 6, 20 different bars, dance clubs, etc. I've since reformed my ways and on a wild night may go to 1 1/2 (that's one and the threat of falling asleep at the second). In an effort to reduce violence in the city, the College Park mayor decreed that anyone determined to be drunk would not continue to be served alcohol at any drinking establishment. I was at a bar when the bartender made the decision to stop serving the guy a few seats away from me. Security came over and asked the alleged drunk guy a test question to determine his sobriety. They asked him to recite the alphabet beginning with the letter "M". The guy responded, "Malphabet." He was escorted from the premises while I was thinking, "Technically, he's correct". I kept my thoughts to myself.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Oscars 2012

Now that I can make no further changes to my picks, I'd like to hear about the categories people wrestled with most. I struggled most with costume, documentary and even adapted screenplay. Goodl luck everyone! Go »

Christmas Post #10: SNL Parody Inspires Product

I don't know if the SNL commercial parody for a product called "Ass Don't Smell" inspired the inventors of this product but the connection in my mind cracks me up. Meeting all of your body odor needs. I couldn't find the original sketch but here's a parody of the parody, I think. Go »

Crazy For You, Baby

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: You know how crazy I am for you? Brenda: Crazy enough to raise three kids. me: I'm crazy enough to ignore the voices in my head when we talk. Go »

Phallic Logo Awards

Most of these fall under the "They Had To Have Noticed" category. I'll never look at another Head tennis racket quite the same way again. The winner is absolutely hilarious. Go »

Christmas Tree Shopping

We finally went out and got our Christmas tree. Lauren and I trekked to the local Knights of St. Mickey who offer good trees annually and they're pretty nice folks. Go »

Christmas Post #11: Niche Market Dolls

In Waiting For Guffman, Christopher Guest play acts with his My Dinner With Andre action figures. That was the funniest moment of the film for me. I could see something similar happening with almost any of the dolls in this collection. Go »