When in college, I would go bar hopping with friends on occasion. We'd go to 5, 6, 20 different bars, dance clubs, etc. I've since reformed my ways and on a wild night may go to 1 1/2 (that's one and the threat of falling asleep at the second). In an effort to reduce violence in the city, the College Park mayor decreed that anyone determined to be drunk would not continue to be served alcohol at any drinking establishment. I was at a bar when the bartender made the decision to stop serving the guy a few seats away from me. Security came over and asked the alleged drunk guy a test question to determine his sobriety. They asked him to recite the alphabet beginning with the letter "M". The guy responded, "Malphabet." He was escorted from the premises while I was thinking, "Technically, he's correct". I kept my thoughts to myself.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Isn't That The Red Skull In That Weird Pantsuit?

My internet idol, Uncle Scoopy, refers to Victoria "Posh Spice" Beckham as Skeletor Spice for her resemblance to that cartoon character. Interestingly, she resembles other cartoon characters often, depending on how she dresses. She has got to make Blackwell's "Worst Dressed" this year. Go »

The Naked Samaritan

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: Did I ever tell you I posed nude for an art class? Me: Really?! (after recovering from shock) I had a college friend who posed for some extra money. Go »

Party Time!

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: I think our neighbor died. Brenda: Who? Ray? Go »

Oprah Is Immortal

I was talking to Brenda about weight recently - about how hers is creeping up and mine is creeping down. I ran across this article afterwards and showed it to her as a peace offering (man that skillet to the skull really hurts!) Thigh size has been connected to a predilection for heart disease. Go »

Like Father, Like Daughter

Or is it the other way around? I invited Lauren to take a closer look at Funeratic so she could see why I spend so much time here. I started with a few pictures, Scott - ("I know him!") Go »

This Year Goes to 11 contd.

What do the following people have in common? Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Wayne Gretzky, Melissa Etheridge, Eddie Murphy, George Lopez, Marilyn Milian, George Clooney, Michael J. Fox, Kim Deal, Boy George, Forest Whitaker, Barack Obama, Susan Olsen, Wynton Marsalis, Heather Locklear, Meg Ryan, Ann Coulter, and Steve West. Go »