When in college, I would go bar hopping with friends on occasion. We'd go to 5, 6, 20 different bars, dance clubs, etc. I've since reformed my ways and on a wild night may go to 1 1/2 (that's one and the threat of falling asleep at the second). In an effort to reduce violence in the city, the College Park mayor decreed that anyone determined to be drunk would not continue to be served alcohol at any drinking establishment. I was at a bar when the bartender made the decision to stop serving the guy a few seats away from me. Security came over and asked the alleged drunk guy a test question to determine his sobriety. They asked him to recite the alphabet beginning with the letter "M". The guy responded, "Malphabet." He was escorted from the premises while I was thinking, "Technically, he's correct". I kept my thoughts to myself.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Post Florida is Literally Murder

Brenda and I recently returned from a wonderful week spent in Sarasota with Scott and Kelly. Lauren and her husband, Jon, were able to fly down from ND to care for Olivia while we were travelling. The trip started as a mixed bag of positives and negatives, as the people in the row in front of us spoke incessantly and at an annoyingly loud volume but the young lady who shared our row was delightful. Go »

I Am A Marketing Genius

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I’m thinking of buying that 5-hour energy stuff. Brenda: Think it’ll be worth it? me: Depends on what it costs – that whole dollars to extra push-ups ratio. Go »

Let's Hope The Dog Doesn't Like To Chew On Stuff

The baby's a little fussy - I know, let's give her Mom's ashes. Talk about a niche market. I expect some may find this adorable and clever, I just find it creepy. Go »

Vanity Plate

I saw a blue Toyota Rav 4 with a vanity plate SINGPLY. What the hell does that mean? StING PLoY? Go »

We Were That Close

Brenda and I looked at a house a few days ago and were very charmed by it. It was a ranch style home with four bedrooms, a large fenced yard and was selling at a reasonable price. Brenda was a little unsure of the size of the bedrooms but agreed to go back and specifically measure them with a tape measure and if they met her minimum standards, she would agree to make an offer for the house. Go »

Santa Claus Can Kiss My Ass

That title is almost blasphemous in the American belief system, I know. We took the girls to a local ice cream store, Coldstone's, to get ice cream and to see and get a photograph taken with Santa. It occured to me that Santa gets a lot of credit for stuff that I do and provide. Go »