Natural Deselection
by Kris Weberg on August 12, 2006
Every so often, something happens to you that makes you realize nature or God or whatever else you attribute your existence to apparently goes to work drunk sometimes. And sometimes that realization makes you post long, boring blog entries that people only read in hopes of getting clues for a prize-free post-title game. Clues that aren't actually there.
Back at the beginning of May, on the way back from a weekend in NYC (my only visit there), I started to feel a bit ill. Within a day or two, I was full-on sick, and within a week I was all better...except for two things.
My ears. They simply wouldn't "unstuff," and this was with everything I could think of, from nose spray to wasabi. Finally, I broke down and went in to Student Health, which is almost like a real clinic except everyone treating you is a PA instead of a doctor...no, that's actually a LOT like a real clinic. \
Anyway, long story short, I got some kind of decongestant and some cold medicine a little stronger than what I'd been taking. Didn't do a thing (though it was nice learning that my insurance makes everthing at Student Health either free or incredibly cheap), and that Saturday I woke up with one ear cleared. And a nasty wet feeling in the ear canal. At that point, I went to the ER at the local hospital. Sure enough, my eardrum had ruptured. (It also happened to me when I was a baby, apparently.) Got some eardrops and a stronger decongestant, and an appointment with an ENT for two weeks later when "everything should have cleared up."
WHich it didn't. I took a lengthy hearing test, which resembled being forced to listen to a skipping CD of Kraftwerk's Autobahn and give comments on the sound quality, after which I was told that I had mild hearing loss due to the fluid build-up (GOSH!) and that the rupture had happened but was healed (yay!). Then I was examined by the actual doctor, and told to come in six weeks later after using some nose spray, at which point everything should've resolved and they'd put in a pair of tubes.
Six weeks later, things were better, according to a new hearing test and the ENT.* And at that point, I was told that all my problems were really due to Eustachian tube dysfunction, which is a fancy way of saying that my head-sinus-ear system is crappy at draining off exciting disease-related goo. (They also don't "pop" on long plane trips, which is exactly as fun as it sounds.) Apparently it's severe enough the I have a partial vacuum behind my eardrums, as many of you may have guessed for entirely different reasons. It's also supposedly been going on for years, and aside from the problems while flying, I just hadn't noticed until the weeks and weeks of suppurative otitis media. There's no real help for it except tubes, and thanks to my inexplicably skittishness when the ENT poked my eardrum with a long sharp surette while trying to dig loose some wax , they decided to reschedule that for another six weeks.
To make a long story longer, last week I went in for the outpatient tubes operation, and was told that the pressure problem was too severe, and that tubes would just "extrude." Oh, and now the ENT and her intern claim that they never not no-how intended tubes at all, despite tellign me that's what I was coming in for. So my new treatment is...nothing. Painkillers for flying, and patience and occasional treatment for bad head colds. And apparently the negative pressure and eardrum retraction are so bad that things like pressure equalizers aren't viable.
Oh, wait, there is one more thing I can do -- go in to the ENT again in February for another follow-up visit. Yay?
* While ENT stands for "ear nose throat," the actual title used by doctors is "otolaryngologist." Since the fancier word actually just covers the ear and throat, I suspect that ENTs have been charging for the nose for centuries despite not knowing anything about it. That's the one attempt at humor you get for this post, sorry.
Seven Replies to Natural Deselection
Scott Hardie | August 13, 2006
Well, there is one hope when your health care provider keeps changing the prognosis on you: Keep coming back every few weeks until they recommend a treatment you like. You have to put up with it in the meantime, but there are worse afflictions. Hang in there, Kris.
Megan Baxter | August 14, 2006
Yow! I had both eardrums rupture once when I was quite young, and I remember it being very painful. (I had a lot of ear infections, got used to them, and didn't tell my parents that my ears were hurting again until a blinding flash of pain that were my ear drums rupturing.)
I don't think they put tubes in for me, either. I just had to keep my ears away from water for a week or so.
I hope everything sorts out.
Kris Weberg | August 14, 2006
I was lucky, and slept through the rupture. I just woke up with some yellow, oily liquid in my ear.
Apparently, the doctor thinks everything is as sorted out as it's liable to get...for six months, anyway. At any rate, I've been less afflicted by my ears than by a summer of visiting the doctor to no real purpose every three to six weeks.
Anna Gregoline | August 14, 2006
Ugh, sorry to hear that. Feel better!
Jackie Mason | August 16, 2006
[hidden by author request]
E. M. | August 28, 2006
[hidden by author request]
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Amy Austin | August 13, 2006
That's the one attempt at humor you get for this post, sorry.
You sure???
...I have a partial vacuum behind my eardrums, as many of you may have guessed for entirely different reasons.
Was that not supposed to be funny? ;-D
Seriously, though... that totally sucks, Kris. (Or blows? Drains??? Ewww...)
(Okay, there's my return attempt -- back at ya'! ;-p)