New Dog Upstairs
by Scott Hardie on October 11, 2009

Third in a series? I don't think I need to spell this one out. Needless to say, the dog seems to live in a cage directly over my kitchen, and its only hobby is barking nonstop, 24 hours a day. It reminds me of this.
Five Replies to New Dog Upstairs
Steve West | October 11, 2009
That figure may be a little low according to statistics compiled by The Institute of Steve West. However, those statistics may be skewed because the database was compiled by interviews with 7-Eleven workers exclusively.
Jackie Mason | October 11, 2009
[hidden by author request]
Kelly Lee | October 19, 2009
You know what's awesome? Being deaf. I had no idea.
Steve West | October 19, 2009
Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!
(reloading)
Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam! Blam!
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Red Carpet Saturday
Some friends of ours recently made a short film (they're officially in IMDb) that got into the Sarasota Film Festival, so Kelly and I had to check it out. It screened with eight other short family-friendly films on a Saturday morning, and there was good turnout for the two locally-made titles in the set. I enjoyed our friends' comedy and laughed along with everyone else, and I was impressed by several of the other movies too. Go »
Trial of the Century
I served on my first jury last week, for the gripping case of the Walmart Protein Bar Bandit, accused of a $1.46 theft. Voir dire was oddly focused on whether grazing (eating groceries before you pay for them) was acceptable, whether eating protein right after a workout is important, and whether any of us had strong feelings about the Walmart corporation. Go »
Hungry Hungry Kitty
When you want your dinner, you want your dinner: (link) I do the same thing at China Buffet when they try to take the chicken lo mein off the line. Go »
Can't Live With Her, Can't Live Without Her
This is the truncated version of a much longer and more ambitious post about my relationships and why I don't blog about them. Let's just leave the reason at "duh." Denise and I tried being friends again after breaking up, but it was based on each of us not saying what we really thought of the other, which is always unwise. Go »
Other Contents Under Pressure
"So this guy is on a dinner date, and he has terrible gas, but he waits because he doesn't want to be embarrassed. When they get back to her house, he can't wait any longer. He desperately asks where her bathroom is, and she says first door on the left. Go »










Amy Austin | October 11, 2009
Yeah, 78% of Americans *are* rude.