Even unconsciousness can't keep my brain from coming up with lousy puns. I just dreamed that another GM was telling me about this adventure game he was putting together...

"So the heroes enter the forest, and before long they come across this little gingerbread house, with a sign that says PAY TOLL. And if they don't pay money to the gnome inside, they'll get attacked by his enormous rottweilers, these 50-foot-tall dogs made of black licorice."

"Huh?"

"Yeah. See, the gnome is behind on payments for his licor license..."


Five Replies to Sweet

Aaron Shurtleff | August 4, 2007
Wow. That was about the funniest pun I've heard all day. ;)

Lori Lancaster | August 4, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Steve West | August 4, 2007
I may have to kill you.

Amy Austin | August 5, 2007
Blehh... the only thing worse than *puns* about black licorice... is black licorice.

Jackie Mason | August 5, 2007
[hidden by author request]


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Thoughts from Barnes & Noble

- Aren't all of these books in the clearance aisles the same ones I saw while Christmas shopping? - Sarasota must be really obsessed with astrology, Barack Obama, pet psychology, and Eastern cooking. Or the whole country is. Go »

WLW: Can't

"Can't" is a word that fat people tell ourselves a lot after so many failed diets: We can't lose the weight, we can't succeed. Hearing it from a doctor would seem inconsequential. But it still hurts. Go »

Signs and Wonders

Driving through Georgia now. Just passed a plain yellow billboard saying The God with Moral Fault, amazon.com. Hidden agenda? Go »

The Tiger

This is the second of four weekly blog posts about diagnoses that have completely changed my life since the pandemic started, after The Dragon. Last week, I wrote about my liver disease, which doesn't have any direct, detectable signs. It's not as if I feel any pain in my liver, or that I can sense that it's not working in the same way that I could tell right away if, say, my eyes stopped working or my lungs stopped working. Go »

24 Hours in Orlando

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: "It's nice to meet you!" Brenda: "It's nice to meet you too!" As Steve mentioned, Kelly and I drove up to Orlando on Friday night to have dinner with the vacationing West family. Go »

R.I.P. Mom

You were so still in your bed when I could finally sit down beside you, a few hours after the facility notified me that you had died. I hadn't seen you be that peaceful in years, your eyes not scanning the room for clues, your hands not turning over each object in front of you for endlessly repeated examination. I whispered to you the most urgent and most precious things I had to say, the secrets and atonements and wishes foremost on my mind. Go »