Sweet
by Scott Hardie on August 4, 2007

Even unconsciousness can't keep my brain from coming up with lousy puns. I just dreamed that another GM was telling me about this adventure game he was putting together...
"So the heroes enter the forest, and before long they come across this little gingerbread house, with a sign that says PAY TOLL. And if they don't pay money to the gnome inside, they'll get attacked by his enormous rottweilers, these 50-foot-tall dogs made of black licorice."
"Huh?"
"Yeah. See, the gnome is behind on payments for his licor license..."
Five Replies to Sweet
Lori Lancaster | August 4, 2007
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Steve West | August 4, 2007
I may have to kill you.
Amy Austin | August 5, 2007
Blehh... the only thing worse than *puns* about black licorice... is black licorice.
Jackie Mason | August 5, 2007
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Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

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Kelly's mother passed away last week. The event had been anticipated for decades: Pat was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as a child, suffered kidney failure in 1995 and survived on her brother's donated kidney, and had five strokes and five heart attacks and countless operations, including emergency brain surgery in 2007 that changed her personality. She obviously possessed quite an inner resiliency even if she seemed petite and frail on the outside, but it was inevitable that she would someday lose the fight with her own body. Go »
Shoulda Seen It Coming
The news that Princeton's infamous ESP research lab is soon to close (link) is both heartening and a little disappointing. On one hand, if there's anything at all to ESP, then skeptics should have no objection to private donations funding some bonafide scientific research into it – no harm done except for a hint of legitimacy. On the other hand, this lab was a black bruise for Princeton and its "findings" were routinely debunked, and a facility investigating exceptional claims must have exceptional adherence to scientific standards. Go »
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I don't know what Polaroids he has of whom, but somehow Tom Skilling has elevated himself to some kind of all-important weather-broadcasting god. When I grew up in Chicago, I watched him gradually get a bigger and bigger budget for his animated graphics, and gradually get a larger and larger timeframe to deliver his dull reports. By the time I left town, he had a whole 20 minutes of the hour-long midday newscast for the fucking weather, and boy did he find trivia to fill it: Average dew points across Cook County on this day in 1854, theta-e temperature predictions for every Cubs home game next season, you name it. Go »
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What part of get down! are you pretending not to understand? Go »
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A friend recently contacted Kelly and me out of the blue to ask if we could take care of her dog for six days while she was on vacation, since the arranged sitter was suddenly unavailable. Neither Kelly nor I have experience taking care of dogs, and we're definitely not dog people. I was attacked by a dog when I was little and I've never been comfortable around them, especially any dog large enough to leap up from the ground and reach my face with its teeth. Go »
Aaron Shurtleff | August 4, 2007
Wow. That was about the funniest pun I've heard all day. ;)