UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.

UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?

UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.

UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.

I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Christmas Post #16: A Hillbilly Christmas

My father was born and raised in North Carolina. Throughout my childhood we would make the summer trek to my Granny and Grandpaw's house in the middle of the state. Many a summer night passed listening to roosters (they crow all friggin' night), the occasional gator grunt, and my hillbilly cousins fart and scratch while playing cards. Go »

What Are We Gonna Do? Road Trip.

A brand new drug has come onto the market that is touted as being a treatment for autism. It's a homeopathic drug called Respen-A. It affects the malfunctioning areas of the brain typically associated with autistic children. Go »

The Anniversary Gift

My 10th anniversary of marriage to my lovely child-bride, Brenda will be on November 7th. I read the following story on Amyoops.com but it was not credited. Go »

Halloween Post #7: Scary Movies

Movie moments are still stuck in my head from films I saw 30 years ago, moments that scared the crap out of me then and still run chills down my spine today. This web page has collected 100 of these scary film moments and tried to supply a Youtube clip for each one (not successful) and some interesting commentary. This site might hold you until Halloween. Go »

Steve West: Punnyman

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I've only been addicted to one thing my entire life. Brenda: Yeah? What's that? Go »

Halloween Post #5: What Do You Mean You're Out Of Blood Colored Yarn?!?

Several goo site participants have demonstrable sewing skills. Anybody knit? For those who do and are in a festive spirit on a psychotic level, you might want to try your hand at these. Go »