UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.

UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?

UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.

UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.

I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Have I Mentioned How Much I Love My Wife?

I got a surprise visit from Amy Austin today. She was passing through Maryland on her way to Florida and took the time to call me from the road. I was thrilled that she thought of me being in the area and invited her to visit for what could only be a brief visit. Go »

End Of The Year Post 2007

Some of the most interesting Year In Perspective lists I found. Top Ten News Stories. Top 5 Fails. Go »

Dumb Criminals And Other Court Type Stuff Part 2

Another collection of dumb criminals/lawsuits. Over-salted burger; anger management irony; the writing is on the wall dope; porn = pain; and finally, from the "What Did They Expect?" department, Unwanted donation . Go »

Steve's Supermarket Adventure (Cont'd)

...Or The Further Foibles of Ugly On a Stick Tonight, at the Safeway, I encountered the same cashier as I do most Saturday nights. Ugly On a Stick. Go »

Rock Block Parallel #1: Animal Farm

Starting a theme parallel. Best new Barbie since "I'm Breaking Our Date" Ken - Hitchcock Barbie. Happy moments captured. Go »

My Second Dad

Earlier this week, I lost my father-in-law to lung cancer. He was a beautiful man who welcomed me into his family after marrying his oldest daughter. Family isn’t always blood. Go »