UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.

UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?

UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.

UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.

I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Christmas Post #7: Coloring Crime

This website has some hilarious sections (most times intentionally, I think) offering many odd items for sale. My favorite is the Law & Order coloring book. Check out that connect the dots page - I wonder who that could be? Go »

Good Morning, Let's See Who's Dead

A website devoted to tracking who's alive and who's not. Most entries are for the recently passed but also some entries to silence rumors. Also, a neat feature to read obituaries and find photographs of actual grave locations. Go »

Breakfast Becomes Dessert

Recently, Brenda and I had breakfast at a local diner because they have a fairly low age requirement (55) to get the "senior special". For $4.00 you get 2 eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast. Go »

Steve's Supermarket Adventure

Or...How I Tried To Get Myself Banned From Safeway Shopping at my local Safeway is usually a pleasant experience. Few crowds at 10:00 at night, plenty of quality choices, reasonable pricing, etc. Go »

A Christmas Story for Christmas

Definitely early for Christmas, but there's an interesting item for auction on ebay that closes in a week or so. Spend Christmas Eve and morning in the house used to film A Christmas Story. I suppose there could be other events to make it a Christmas Con like a movie viewing, a shoot your eye out contest, and stick your tongue to the frozen pole game. Go »

Post Florida is Literally Murder

Brenda and I recently returned from a wonderful week spent in Sarasota with Scott and Kelly. Lauren and her husband, Jon, were able to fly down from ND to care for Olivia while we were travelling. The trip started as a mixed bag of positives and negatives, as the people in the row in front of us spoke incessantly and at an annoyingly loud volume but the young lady who shared our row was delightful. Go »