Sages And Fools | Tragic Comedy

UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.

UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?

UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.

UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.

I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.

Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

It's My Honor to Be Her Father

I just returned from Lauren"s surprise wedding shower. She was completely awed. She came on the pretense of picking up a couch for her apartment in North Dakota. Go »

Shadowlands

As much as I admire the shadow creations, I know I wouldn't be able to stand having the pile of trash responsible sitting in the middle of my rec room. Seriously, how many have a "gallery" in their home. Go »

I'm Down To My Socks... It's Posting Time.

Flight of the Conchords rule! 2 Quarts of Tanning Lotion, Stat! Lots of stuff spilled in the road by trucks. Go »

Not All Heroes Wear Capes

At 11:00 a.m., Brenda called me from the school where she works and told me that she had fallen and was unable to drive home. She needed me to 1) find a second driver for her car, 2) come get her and take her to urgent care and 3) make sure that Olivia is taken care of when she arrives home in an hour. Go »

Christmas Post #9: Black Friday And Other Spending Matters

The day after Thanksgiving is nationally known as Black Friday for its capitalistic excess associated with open season Christmas shopping. This site is devoted to giving shoppers advance notice of various stores' Black Friday bargains. A lot of these "bargains" are available online , sometimes exclusively. Go »