Sages And Fools
by Steve West on April 25, 2010
UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.
UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?
UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.
UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.
I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Weekend Grocery Shopping Equals...
... another encounter with Ugly On A Stick. I had no idea she was even there until she went out of her way to shout, 'HiiiIIIiiiii' from an aisle away. Go »Start Of The Year Post 2008
Best stuff I found since yesterday. Really good photoshop stuff of mouth-eyes. Most popular baby names of last year. Go »My First Baby Got Married
WE ARE BACK! What a trip. Five flights, countless hours in layovers, endless treks from gate to gate, sometimes in limited timeframes, no meals except for snacks on the planes and no Wi-fi! Go »The Texas Chili Cook-Off
Recently, at a Bowie Baysox baseball game, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Texas chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last minute, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans, probably) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. Go »It's Still Rock and Roll To Me
Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I heard a song on the radio on the ride home today and found myself returning to the 70's. Brenda: Like you ever left. me: Be that as it may, I was bobbing my head to Journey's Lovin, Touchin', Squeezin'. Go »
