UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.

UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?

UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.

UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.

I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Christmas Post #3: Syphilis For Christmas

Lyme disease, E. Coli, and even Mad Cow are all available to gift your loved one with as a plush toy. Be sure to check the venereal section! Go »

There Really Are Superheroes

And most of them wear capes. Oddee does a nice roundup of ten real-life superheroes - people who actually dress up in costume and prowl their respective cities with a willingness to foil criminals and their crimes. While you may question their sartorial wisdom, you gotta admire their desire to make a difference. Go »

Mean Husband... or Funny Guy?

Since Brenda is home and doing well, I will share yet another reason I will spend ETERNITY IN HELL. At the hospital, after her surgery and recovery, she began to wake up in the room. She was covered in a blanket up to her neck, and as her eyes barely fluttered open and she saw me standing over her caressing her cheek, I said, "Baby, something went wrong and they had to remove your whole body. Go »

Odds And Ends (Definitely Odds)

Strange and wonderful stuff. Video of the week 1: Perfectville - Population 1 Nouvelle cuisine. Stuff a hamburger up your tailpipe. Go »

Bunny Revisited

My father-in-law (Norm), whom I adore, went through an emotional ordeal dealing with my mother-in law's (Bunny) illness over a lengthy period before she died in 2016. One of her doctors approached Norm and suggested he write a journal as a coping mechanism. After Bunny's death, the doctor asked Norm to allow himself to be filmed talking about his experience while writing the journal. Go »

Sometimes Comedy = Pain

Once upon a time, the entire clip of this sketch was available on-line. It's been removed from YouTube but I found it here in a shortened version. It's too bad because the full explanation of what they're doing and why they're doing it makes it that much more enjoyable. Go »