Sages And Fools
by Steve West on April 25, 2010
UOAS has been wonderfully absent from the grocery for the last month. Paradise only lasts so long, however.
UOAS: (Eyeing the 3 lbs of sirloins on sweet sale) That's a lot of steaks, having a barbecue?
Me: No, those are for the neighbor's dog. It's his birthday. I'll probably grill 'em first.
UOAS: That's pretty generous!
Me: They're pretty good neighbors. My only dilemma is which sauce to serve with the roasted vegetables. I'm thinking of going with the vodka sauce. Too much?
UOAS: (Seeing the large bag of Reese's Pieces) E.T. loves these, I hear.
Me: Yeah, it's a well-known fact that aliens are allergic to chocolate. If any of your neighbors claim to be allergic to chocolate, I would ask to see their green card. I have INS on speed dial, myself.
UOAS: (Commenting on my browsing through a Golf Magazine) You golf?
Me: Yeah. I shot a 78 yesterday.
UOAS: That's pretty impressive.
Me: Yeah, the second hole was almost as good. I probably should learn to take a drop when a ball goes in the lake.
UOAS: You lost a bunch of balls in the lake?
Me: Yeah, I finally got a lucky bounce off the fountain in the middle and it caromed onto the green. I took an 80 on that one.
I think she's finally starting to get suspicious regarding the veracity of what I say.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
These People Really Hate Tomatoes
Random quote: "I accedentially (sic) ate a cherry tomato in my salad once,and now I worship satan." I personally like tomatoes and find it incredible that anyone can have such passion in either direction; love or hate. About tomatoes, I mean. Go »Slip Slidin' Away
Why do adults get on children's slides? Compilation film of various acidents, big, small, young, and old. The fifth clip in of the guy going down the water slide head first sans kid almost gave me a brain hemorrhage from laughing. Go »Sarcasm Is Not For Everyone
Today, my boss’ boss asked me for an update on our current IT project. I called that department and while musing why she didn’t just call them herself, got the requested update. It wasn’t good. Go »Knock Knock Knockin' On Morpheus' Door
Nestled in the arms of Hypnos, my daughter woke me with the sounds of retching. She is struggling with a very phlegmy cough that makes sleeping difficult for her and impossible for me. What with all the changing of bedding in the middle of the night, clothing, dosing with medicine, and comforting - I lost a significant amount of sleep. Go »What Are We Gonna Do? Road Trip.
A brand new drug has come onto the market that is touted as being a treatment for autism. It's a homeopathic drug called Respen-A. It affects the malfunctioning areas of the brain typically associated with autistic children. Go »
