I've always felt like my life's dream was to quit my job and spend all my time online. I wouldn't only do that, of course – if I won the lottery and quit my job, I'd also travel and take classes and throw parties and do other things – but let's face it, I'd spend a lot of time working on this site and talking to people online.

Last night I dreamed I was a ghost, recently passed. I was free of the demands of life: no job, no need to buy things, no need to eat or sleep. I could still interact with a computer, writing an email to my mother telling her not to mourn me, or changing some code on this site that I never found time to work on before. But I didn't really want to do it. All I wanted to do was rest, to succumb to that peaceful eternal slumber.

Maybe if I got the thing I want most, I wouldn't want it any more. Or maybe what I want is to check out of "life" entirely, shirking all responsibilities once and for all. Or maybe I was just having one of those dreams where I'm still awake and very tired. I hate those dreams.


One Reply to Spirit

Amy Austin | November 6, 2008
Sounds like the last option to me (but what a weird dream!) -- and, man, how I sure hate those, too!

(At least I hope that's what it is... aside from being the simplest explanation, it's also the least depressing. Sort of. ;-D)

Get some... rest. Or something. I'm sure not one to dish out advice on this subject, so... buck up, little camper... ;-DDD


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Revisiting Survivor: Australia

Since I'm a fan of Survivor and I missed the first halves of early seasons when they aired, lately I've rented them on DVD to see what I missed. And it's given me an opportunity to reflect on how the show has changed over twelve seasons. The first two seasons had a special quality that has largely been missing every since, which is the genuineness of the cast. Go »

Space Out

As Denise suggested I do, I've gotten partway through the Unsolved Mysteries set on UFOs. (link) It's not my favorite topic, but the show is entertaining no matter what it covers, and they put on a good show. The problem is that most of it is so hard to believe. Go »

Week from Hell

It's my first week as manager, but there's no time for a honeymoon. On Monday, I got zero sleep the night before, and ran on fumes the whole day. Tuesday was spent almost entirely managing a single project and letting other fires burn. Go »

R.I.P. Russ

Twelve years after losing her mother, Kelly has now lost her father too. This loss was a quieter and tidier affair, partially due to Russ not wanting a funeral or wake, and partially due to his very strained relationship with Kelly in recent years. We waited a few days to work out the trip schedule, flew up there, had a nice little graveside gathering with immediate family and then lunch out, spent time seeing the old hometown and Russ's new adopted small town (oh how I don't miss driving for hours through corn fields to get literally anywhere in Illinois), and returned with lots of tasks for Kelly to do to resolve the estate. Go »

Rowr

For all you Lost Skeleton of Cadavra fans... (If you haven't seen it, rent it, or at least watch the trailer there.) Go »

Moving Day

You don't think about how much unnecessary stuff you own until you're paying someone by the hour to move it all. After Kelly and I moved into our new home last night, here's the current state of our living room, guest room, and garage. The house is a mess, and so are we. Go »