Spirit
by Scott Hardie on November 6, 2008
I've always felt like my life's dream was to quit my job and spend all my time online. I wouldn't only do that, of course – if I won the lottery and quit my job, I'd also travel and take classes and throw parties and do other things – but let's face it, I'd spend a lot of time working on this site and talking to people online.
Last night I dreamed I was a ghost, recently passed. I was free of the demands of life: no job, no need to buy things, no need to eat or sleep. I could still interact with a computer, writing an email to my mother telling her not to mourn me, or changing some code on this site that I never found time to work on before. But I didn't really want to do it. All I wanted to do was rest, to succumb to that peaceful eternal slumber.
Maybe if I got the thing I want most, I wouldn't want it any more. Or maybe what I want is to check out of "life" entirely, shirking all responsibilities once and for all. Or maybe I was just having one of those dreams where I'm still awake and very tired. I hate those dreams.
One Reply to Spirit
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »
The Phoenix
This is the last of four weekly blog posts about diagnoses that have completely changed my life since the pandemic started, after The Dragon, The Tiger, and The Serpent. I saved the lightest one for last. Many people who discover later in life that they're neurodivergent have reported spending years aware of the symptoms and signs of their condition without ever considering that the description might apply to them, and when they do finally realize, it's as if a thousand mysteries are solved at once: Things that never made sense are all suddenly explained. Go »The Time Has Come
My kingdom for an alarm clock that beeps once, gently, 60 seconds before it really begins going off. That way you're woken up comfortably and given a chance to turn it off, instead of being startled awake by loud shrieking and having to scramble for it. Go »Can't Blog Now...
....Must play Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion! I finally understand why they called that earlier game "EverCrack." Go »Mayhem
Last night I saw Killswitch Engage, Slayer, and Marilyn Manson. This morning I discovered that Walgreens sells a pretty good neck brace for $11.99. Aaron Shurtleff bought my Mayhem Festival ticket in May as a gift, and I'm grateful to have another generous friend. Go »Photos from Milwaukee
Some of these didn't come out as well as I'd hoped (many were snapped from a moving vehicle), but I'm putting them up anyway. complete set Go »
Amy Austin | November 6, 2008
Sounds like the last option to me (but what a weird dream!) -- and, man, how I sure hate those, too!
(At least I hope that's what it is... aside from being the simplest explanation, it's also the least depressing. Sort of. ;-D)
Get some... rest. Or something. I'm sure not one to dish out advice on this subject, so... buck up, little camper... ;-DDD