Spirit
by Scott Hardie on November 6, 2008

I've always felt like my life's dream was to quit my job and spend all my time online. I wouldn't only do that, of course – if I won the lottery and quit my job, I'd also travel and take classes and throw parties and do other things – but let's face it, I'd spend a lot of time working on this site and talking to people online.
Last night I dreamed I was a ghost, recently passed. I was free of the demands of life: no job, no need to buy things, no need to eat or sleep. I could still interact with a computer, writing an email to my mother telling her not to mourn me, or changing some code on this site that I never found time to work on before. But I didn't really want to do it. All I wanted to do was rest, to succumb to that peaceful eternal slumber.
Maybe if I got the thing I want most, I wouldn't want it any more. Or maybe what I want is to check out of "life" entirely, shirking all responsibilities once and for all. Or maybe I was just having one of those dreams where I'm still awake and very tired. I hate those dreams.
One Reply to Spirit
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Scott's Car is Dead; Long Live Scott's Van
The blue Dodge Caliber that I bought years ago has lasted through a lot. It may have suffered a flat tire at one GooCon and a window that wouldn't close at another, but the only major and long-lasting problem with it was a leaky roof. Unfortunately, I live in Florida, where half of the year sees brief but frequent thunderstorms. Go »
It's a Small World
Somehow "small" doesn't do Earth justice. (link) Go »
R.I.P. Russ
Twelve years after losing her mother, Kelly has now lost her father too. This loss was a quieter and tidier affair, partially due to Russ not wanting a funeral or wake, and partially due to his very strained relationship with Kelly in recent years. We waited a few days to work out the trip schedule, flew up there, had a nice little graveside gathering with immediate family and then lunch out, spent time seeing the old hometown and Russ's new adopted small town (oh how I don't miss driving for hours through corn fields to get literally anywhere in Illinois), and returned with lots of tasks for Kelly to do to resolve the estate. Go »
House of Pain
Happy new year! The first month of 2015 has been so terrible that I'm declaring a re-do as if it never happened. 2015 really starts now as far as I'm concerned. Go »
The Dragon
This is the first of four weekly blog posts about diagnoses that have completely changed my life since the pandemic started. Let's get the gravest one out of the way first. Until recently, I never appreciated how essential the future was to your mental health. Go »
Amy Austin | November 6, 2008
Sounds like the last option to me (but what a weird dream!) -- and, man, how I sure hate those, too!
(At least I hope that's what it is... aside from being the simplest explanation, it's also the least depressing. Sort of. ;-D)
Get some... rest. Or something. I'm sure not one to dish out advice on this subject, so... buck up, little camper... ;-DDD