Spirit
by Scott Hardie on November 6, 2008

I've always felt like my life's dream was to quit my job and spend all my time online. I wouldn't only do that, of course – if I won the lottery and quit my job, I'd also travel and take classes and throw parties and do other things – but let's face it, I'd spend a lot of time working on this site and talking to people online.
Last night I dreamed I was a ghost, recently passed. I was free of the demands of life: no job, no need to buy things, no need to eat or sleep. I could still interact with a computer, writing an email to my mother telling her not to mourn me, or changing some code on this site that I never found time to work on before. But I didn't really want to do it. All I wanted to do was rest, to succumb to that peaceful eternal slumber.
Maybe if I got the thing I want most, I wouldn't want it any more. Or maybe what I want is to check out of "life" entirely, shirking all responsibilities once and for all. Or maybe I was just having one of those dreams where I'm still awake and very tired. I hate those dreams.
One Reply to Spirit
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

R.I.P. Pat
Kelly's mother passed away last week. The event had been anticipated for decades: Pat was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as a child, suffered kidney failure in 1995 and survived on her brother's donated kidney, and had five strokes and five heart attacks and countless operations, including emergency brain surgery in 2007 that changed her personality. She obviously possessed quite an inner resiliency even if she seemed petite and frail on the outside, but it was inevitable that she would someday lose the fight with her own body. Go »
Breaking Monopoly
My latest pastime has been seeing if I can rig a video game of Monopoly to give me infinite money. It turns out that I can, but it's incredibly tedious, far more so than I thought. I like to play with the NES version, because it's just colorful and fun enough without being too sophisticated in its AI. Go »
Not-So-Confidential to My Gaming Group
I started writing this out in an email reply to John Gunter, but I guess it should be shared. I miss gaming with you guys, but I'm on the fence about continuing. I like each of you guys a great deal, but when we're together I just don't feel the click of a connection like I used to. Go »
Crikey
I saw a trailer for a new Free Willy movie coming out soon, starring Bindi Irwin. They're going to cash in on that kid for as long as they can, before she breaks down and can't be Miss Junior Croc Hunter and more. Maybe working in the same career that killed her dad is good for her psyche; who am I to be skeptical? Go »
The Tiger
This is the second of four weekly blog posts about diagnoses that have completely changed my life since the pandemic started, after The Dragon. Last week, I wrote about my liver disease, which doesn't have any direct, detectable signs. It's not as if I feel any pain in my liver, or that I can sense that it's not working in the same way that I could tell right away if, say, my eyes stopped working or my lungs stopped working. Go »
Amy Austin | November 6, 2008
Sounds like the last option to me (but what a weird dream!) -- and, man, how I sure hate those, too!
(At least I hope that's what it is... aside from being the simplest explanation, it's also the least depressing. Sort of. ;-D)
Get some... rest. Or something. I'm sure not one to dish out advice on this subject, so... buck up, little camper... ;-DDD