Unmitigated Gall
by Scott Hardie on March 2, 2022

Life gets unpleasant quickly when your gallbladder stops working. TMI alert.
I spent all day Friday with sharp pain in my abdomen, diagnosed as spasms from my gallbladder trying to expel a stone. It eventually wore off in the night.
I spent all day Saturday with intense, cannot-lie-down heartburn from miscalculating what food was gallbladder-safe, trying to avoid a repeat. Oops. And I couldn't even keep the food down! A micro-portion beat me up.
I spent all day Sunday with bad things coming out of every hole in my body, to borrow an old sitcom line. I lost 10 pounds of water over the weekend.
I spent all day Monday exhausted because I had nothing in my system. I have a-fib, so my heart kept fluttering from lost electrolytes (Pedialyte wasn't helping), and the fluttering caused hours of coughing as an involuntary reaction.
I spent all day Tuesday spewing apparently long-dormant phlegm loosened by all of the previous coughing. Ew.
So it seems that a single gallstone can mess you up for five days with a domino effect, especially if you're in bad shape like me. Today, Wednesday, I'm mostly recovered, if worried about the future.
The doctor decided not to operate unless more attacks occur, since these things can sometimes be isolated incidents, so it's up to me to experiment with different food triggers. I've researched plenty into what foods are safe and unsafe with this condition, but websites have conflicting advice (don't believe everything you read online), and their advice is often impractical, especially for dining out (undressed salad with half of the ingredients removed, cool thanks).
And there's one more thing: I have a compulsive eating disorder, so far untamed by extensive therapy and medication. I can tell you right now that in my heart I want to eat a gallbladder-safe diet for the rest of my life, but the thousands of failed commitments to eat better in my past don't leave me with any confidence that it will last. I feel like I'm doomed to suffer more gallstone attacks eventually, unless I luck out as one of the few people for whom this is a true one-time fluke.
Someone tried to tell me that this was a common condition and I wasn't suffering alone, but all that made me feel was guilty for whining about something that other people manage to live with. Why should I feel good that so many people live with this painful, miserable, and untreatable condition? I'd feel better if this was one of those medical rarities that something like 50 people in the world suffer, because there'd still be no treatment and at least I'd know that almost nobody else had to go through it too.
Sorry for all of the complaining, but as with everything else, I have a lot to get out of my system.
One Reply to Unmitigated Gall
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Year of Disney
Kelly's been suggesting for a long time that we invest in annual passes to Disney World, since we live two hours' drive away. I finally wised up and listened to her, as some number-crunching showed that we would only need to spend three days there for the passes to pay for themselves. We placed the order and called it a Christmas gift to each other. Go »
Flak Album
Lately I've been enjoying Aimee Mann's I'm with Stupid. Oh, how I wish she'd saved that title for a duets album. Go »
Blood Lines
A few weeks ago, I dropped a glass bottle of salad dressing on the kitchen floor, making the house smell like vinaigrette for a day. Today, I stepped on the last errant bit of glass hiding in a crack of tile by the corner. Better my foot than the cat's paw, I guess; I don't lick between my toes. Go »
Rethinking Forrest Gump
Inspired by a conversation this past weekend, I've been thinking about the once-popular movie Forrest Gump. It has fallen out of favor with people who prefer its contemporaries Pulp Fiction and The Shawshank Redemption and believe it robbed them of Oscars, but to me all three films are good. Gump succeeds because of a lot of factors, but consider its acting and its visual effects. Go »
The Little Ship
Our cat Sweetie Pie passed away in her sleep on Thursday night after a very long illness. We don't know how old she was -- she was my mother's cat before mine, and my grandmother's cat before that, and belonged to some other lady in my grandmother's nursing home before then. We have that stranger to thank for giving her the old-fashioned name, but it was appropriate: Sweetie Pie was a friendly cat, who was happy when company came over (especially if they fed her treats!) Go »










Scott Hardie | March 2, 2022
Kelly was so helpful throughout this, taking me to medical appointments and assuming my household chores and just assisting me to get comfortable. I'm lucky to have her.
What did I eat that triggered the attack? Nothing too terrible I think. I had a store-brand Caesar salad around 6:30, then a 12-oz Stouffers mac & cheese around 9:30, then soon after I went to bed, then I woke up at 4am with the abdominal pain. That's some dairy and grease, but not an insane amount. I don't think it helps me figure out what to avoid in the future.