Life gets unpleasant quickly when your gallbladder stops working. TMI alert.

I spent all day Friday with sharp pain in my abdomen, diagnosed as spasms from my gallbladder trying to expel a stone. It eventually wore off in the night.

I spent all day Saturday with intense, cannot-lie-down heartburn from miscalculating what food was gallbladder-safe, trying to avoid a repeat. Oops. And I couldn't even keep the food down! A micro-portion beat me up.

I spent all day Sunday with bad things coming out of every hole in my body, to borrow an old sitcom line. I lost 10 pounds of water over the weekend.

I spent all day Monday exhausted because I had nothing in my system. I have a-fib, so my heart kept fluttering from lost electrolytes (Pedialyte wasn't helping), and the fluttering caused hours of coughing as an involuntary reaction.

I spent all day Tuesday spewing apparently long-dormant phlegm loosened by all of the previous coughing. Ew.

So it seems that a single gallstone can mess you up for five days with a domino effect, especially if you're in bad shape like me. Today, Wednesday, I'm mostly recovered, if worried about the future.

The doctor decided not to operate unless more attacks occur, since these things can sometimes be isolated incidents, so it's up to me to experiment with different food triggers. I've researched plenty into what foods are safe and unsafe with this condition, but websites have conflicting advice (don't believe everything you read online), and their advice is often impractical, especially for dining out (undressed salad with half of the ingredients removed, cool thanks).

And there's one more thing: I have a compulsive eating disorder, so far untamed by extensive therapy and medication. I can tell you right now that in my heart I want to eat a gallbladder-safe diet for the rest of my life, but the thousands of failed commitments to eat better in my past don't leave me with any confidence that it will last. I feel like I'm doomed to suffer more gallstone attacks eventually, unless I luck out as one of the few people for whom this is a true one-time fluke.

Someone tried to tell me that this was a common condition and I wasn't suffering alone, but all that made me feel was guilty for whining about something that other people manage to live with. Why should I feel good that so many people live with this painful, miserable, and untreatable condition? I'd feel better if this was one of those medical rarities that something like 50 people in the world suffer, because there'd still be no treatment and at least I'd know that almost nobody else had to go through it too.

Sorry for all of the complaining, but as with everything else, I have a lot to get out of my system.


One Reply to Unmitigated Gall

Scott Hardie | March 2, 2022
Kelly was so helpful throughout this, taking me to medical appointments and assuming my household chores and just assisting me to get comfortable. I'm lucky to have her.

What did I eat that triggered the attack? Nothing too terrible I think. I had a store-brand Caesar salad around 6:30, then a 12-oz Stouffers mac & cheese around 9:30, then soon after I went to bed, then I woke up at 4am with the abdominal pain. That's some dairy and grease, but not an insane amount. I don't think it helps me figure out what to avoid in the future.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Dodgy

"Is that a Dodge Dakota pickup truck? I heard that Native American tribe is really upset at the commercialization of their name." "Yeah. Go »

Screw Delta (Gotta Rant)

When I flew to Fargo a while back for Denise's wedding, I woke up at 2am to be out the door by 3am to get to Tampa by 4am to check in by 5am for a 6am flight. I stepped into the long Delta check-in line an hour and fifteen minutes before my flight, but I was concerned at the signs all over the place saying I would be turned away if I arrived less than an hour before the flight. Sure enough, it took me half an hour to get through the line, and the rude Delta clerk refused to let me on the plane even though I could easily make it to the gate in time. Go »

Rethinking Forrest Gump

Inspired by a conversation this past weekend, I've been thinking about the once-popular movie Forrest Gump. It has fallen out of favor with people who prefer its contemporaries Pulp Fiction and The Shawshank Redemption and believe it robbed them of Oscars, but to me all three films are good. Gump succeeds because of a lot of factors, but consider its acting and its visual effects. Go »

When Erik Met Matthew

The spark for the idea came during the pandemic, when we here on Funeratic decided to try some Zoom conversations and games. Two people who I admire for (among other things) their ability to converse quickly and freely with strangers and to get along instantly with seemingly anyone, Erik Bates and Matthew Preston, talked to each other for the first time and of course they hit it off immediately. I knew I wasn't imagining it, because other people on the call remarked on it. Go »

Happy Holidays

In case you wonder why it takes me so long to answer your message: I'm signing off for a week and a half while Kelly visits. Parties, shopping, museums, bowling, movies, lots of restaurants, and a few days at Disney World lie ahead. Have a wonderful holiday week. Go »

The News is Scary

Sixth-grader admits stabbing ducks with pencil. Does anyone else read this and think, this kid will grow up to be Jeffrey Dahmer? Vegan parents guilty of murder. Go »