Life gets unpleasant quickly when your gallbladder stops working. TMI alert.

I spent all day Friday with sharp pain in my abdomen, diagnosed as spasms from my gallbladder trying to expel a stone. It eventually wore off in the night.

I spent all day Saturday with intense, cannot-lie-down heartburn from miscalculating what food was gallbladder-safe, trying to avoid a repeat. Oops. And I couldn't even keep the food down! A micro-portion beat me up.

I spent all day Sunday with bad things coming out of every hole in my body, to borrow an old sitcom line. I lost 10 pounds of water over the weekend.

I spent all day Monday exhausted because I had nothing in my system. I have a-fib, so my heart kept fluttering from lost electrolytes (Pedialyte wasn't helping), and the fluttering caused hours of coughing as an involuntary reaction.

I spent all day Tuesday spewing apparently long-dormant phlegm loosened by all of the previous coughing. Ew.

So it seems that a single gallstone can mess you up for five days with a domino effect, especially if you're in bad shape like me. Today, Wednesday, I'm mostly recovered, if worried about the future.

The doctor decided not to operate unless more attacks occur, since these things can sometimes be isolated incidents, so it's up to me to experiment with different food triggers. I've researched plenty into what foods are safe and unsafe with this condition, but websites have conflicting advice (don't believe everything you read online), and their advice is often impractical, especially for dining out (undressed salad with half of the ingredients removed, cool thanks).

And there's one more thing: I have a compulsive eating disorder, so far untamed by extensive therapy and medication. I can tell you right now that in my heart I want to eat a gallbladder-safe diet for the rest of my life, but the thousands of failed commitments to eat better in my past don't leave me with any confidence that it will last. I feel like I'm doomed to suffer more gallstone attacks eventually, unless I luck out as one of the few people for whom this is a true one-time fluke.

Someone tried to tell me that this was a common condition and I wasn't suffering alone, but all that made me feel was guilty for whining about something that other people manage to live with. Why should I feel good that so many people live with this painful, miserable, and untreatable condition? I'd feel better if this was one of those medical rarities that something like 50 people in the world suffer, because there'd still be no treatment and at least I'd know that almost nobody else had to go through it too.

Sorry for all of the complaining, but as with everything else, I have a lot to get out of my system.


One Reply to Unmitigated Gall

Scott Hardie | March 2, 2022
Kelly was so helpful throughout this, taking me to medical appointments and assuming my household chores and just assisting me to get comfortable. I'm lucky to have her.

What did I eat that triggered the attack? Nothing too terrible I think. I had a store-brand Caesar salad around 6:30, then a 12-oz Stouffers mac & cheese around 9:30, then soon after I went to bed, then I woke up at 4am with the abdominal pain. That's some dairy and grease, but not an insane amount. I don't think it helps me figure out what to avoid in the future.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

When Anxieties Attack

It feels weird to write about a fairly minor health incident in my life after someone else on this site just went through a major crisis. But people have been asking since Kelly's cryptic Facebook comment on Tuesday morning and I guess I should explain. I had been working every night last week on a project for work and getting a couple of hours of sleep each night, which turned into an all-weekend thing, and the avalanche of tasks didn't stop when the site launched early Monday morning. Go »

So Tired

Just need to vent. I worked until 2am last Sunday night, writing a document for work. This writing is by far the most miserable task at my company, and this particular instance of it was extra-complicated. Go »

Signs of Summer

The recent Florida wildfires have been a nasty reminder (I drove through one burned-down forest and it was a terrible sight), but if you need any more indication that summer is here, just step outside: It's scorching. Apparently one local still didn't think it was hot enough to take precautions, as evidenced by the recent explosion in the parking lot when we pulled into a strip mall for lunch. An entire trailer had burned into ash with only a skeletal frame and two melted tires remaining. Go »

Jump to Conclusions

Walking through the store tonight, I came across this product... ...and upon seeing the little girl thinking of all the things she could do with her toy egg, I thought, BACK UP IN YO ASS WITH THE RESURREC-SHUN! Go »

Breaking Monopoly

My latest pastime has been seeing if I can rig a video game of Monopoly to give me infinite money. It turns out that I can, but it's incredibly tedious, far more so than I thought. I like to play with the NES version, because it's just colorful and fun enough without being too sophisticated in its AI. Go »

Members of an Elite Squad

When I started watching Law & Order: Special Victims Unit a year ago (!!), I predicted that I would never write about its good episodes because it was a mediocre series. Along the way, it turned out to have plenty of mediocre hours and some lousy ones, but it had a lot more good or even great hours than I expected. Go »

Happy anniversary!

Tragic Comedy began today in 2001.