Where's The Winch?
by Steve West on June 27, 2011

We took the girls sailing today. Unlike last year, Olivia did not throw a winch handle overboard because of our diligence in preventing it. The sailing is still free because of the heart of the owner who offers this once a month during the summer. There is still a fee to enter the state park which has increased from 5 bucks per car to 5 bucks per person. The four of us got in for 15 bucks so that started a debate as to which one of us was not considered a person. I lost.
As I implied, the first thing Brenda and I did after boarding was locate all loose equipment and keep Olivia far from it. Funnily enough, Olivia did not have to throw anything overboard as it happened without her participation. About a hundred yards into our trip, I noticed the skipper at the tiller struggling with the outboard (you have to use the engine to move away from the pier before you actually sail with the wind). I scooted down to that end of the boat to see if I could lend a novice hand. He very calmly asked me to hold the tiller straight while he hoisted the engine back onto the boat. He was holding onto it to prevent it from sinking into the Chesapeake as it had come free of its lashing. So I'm steering the boat as he's struggling next to me to bolt it back into place. There's only one other official crew member but he was busy hoisting sails and other piratey stuff. So I'm humming the tune to "Popeye, the Sailor Man" like the crazy guy from One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest while the skipper continued to struggle with the engine. He got one of the bolts in place (there are two) and decided that that was sufficient for seaworthiness. Whatever you say, Cap'n.
The rest of the trip was mercifully uneventful in a good way. Warm temperature, cool breeze, picturesque view, and the engine stayed bolted throughout the rest of the trip. Olivia and Lauren adored it and I amused myself by pointing at the water routinely and telling Lauren what wonders I was observing (Nemo, squids, Spongebob, Aquaman, etc.). The captain apologized for the drama, but it made for an interesting part of the journey and none of us had to swim back. I did have to promise Lauren a boat for Christmas. She'll forget by then. I think.
Two Replies to Where's The Winch?
Steve West | June 27, 2011
Different for both. They have a small fleet and the captains and mates seem to be volunteers who rotate. Oh, and the last sailing trip was at the end of the boating season in October, 2010.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Sometimes Romance is Spontaneous
My parents (both passed) dearly loved each other. But with jobs, children, and other business, they found little time to spend on just the two of them. One evening when I was visiting, my Dad came up behind my Mom in the kitchen where she was doing dishes. Go »
Darth Vader Is Alive And Well And Living In My Toaster
So we got this gift from a mother-in law who shall remain nameless; a "super-mega-nuclear look at me long enough and your face will melt like that guy in Raiders toaster. There was nothing wrong with our existing toaster but when she saw it on QVC, my nameless mother-in-law had one of those have to have it moments. I've nicknamed the toaster Darth Vader because regardless of the setting, it turns the bread to the dark side every time. Go »
Woman Attacks Karaoke Singer
A woman attacked a karaoke singer while he was singing Coldplay. A similar thing happened to me once. I was pretty drunk and I started a fight with some guy singing Dave Matthews. Go »
Yes, It's Hot Enough For Me
Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: The weather's been getting a lot warmer lately. me: I believe I noticed. Brenda: I'm worried that our air conditioner is too old and won't be good enough this summer. Go »
Just As I Suspected...
A panel of experts (a group of listeners to Britain's BBC 6) have determined the worst duet in history. Obviously this group has no credentials or necessarily any credibility and history is such a long time. But that's a pretty good vote if schmaltz makes a song bad. Go »
Scott Hardie | June 27, 2011
Has it been a year? Time does fly by.
It sounds like a good day out. Was this the same boat and same captain as last year?