Scott Hardie | May 25, 2005
Share five hard-to-believe facts about yourself: Four true, one made-up. See if you can guess which facts other authors made up.

I may as well go first:

1) I am blacklisted from ever working at Target.

2) I have had plastic surgery.

3) I have never attended a funeral.

4) I had a cousin named Hardie Scott.

5) I never learned how to tie my shoelaces.

Lori Lancaster | May 25, 2005
[hidden by request]

Amy Austin | May 25, 2005
Oh, what fun! I'll have to give this one some thought...

Kris Weberg | May 25, 2005
1. I have never pulled an "all-nighter" of any sort -- i.e., I have never been awake for more than 24 hours straight.

2. I have never been to California or New York, and have never been outside the continental United States.

3. I can read French, German, and Latin (if not speak them well).

4. I was a contestant in the National Spelling Bee.

5. I consume roughly 16 oz. of Tabasco sauce per week. (The average person uses one two-ounce bottle per year.)

Scott Hardie | May 25, 2005
Lori: I guess that #4 is made up. I've heard for a long time that you want to *learn* Japanese, so unless you've reached a point of fluency since then, I'd suppose that's still true.

Kris: I guess that #2 is made up, by process of elimination. I know two other facts are true because you've discussed them here, and as for the others, well, you're a smart guy. :-)

Anna Gregoline | May 25, 2005
1. I've skydived.

2. I smoke the ganja almost every day.

3. I've been in five car accidents, none while I was driving.

4. I never played sports in high school.

5. I've only worked in three places my whole life.

Kris Weberg | May 25, 2005
Wow. I actually rooked Scott on this one.

Scott, I guess that #1 is untrue.
Lori, I guess that #4 is untrue, because I seem to remember a thread where you said you didn't speak Japanese.
Anna, I guess that #3 is untrue.

Lori Lancaster | May 25, 2005
[hidden by request]

Kris Weberg | May 25, 2005
And Lori gets me.

Anna Gregoline | May 25, 2005
I have been in five car accidents, none while I was driving. True!

1. Very young, with my mom. I vaguely remember standing on the side of the road and looking at the car.

2. One with my mom and dad going to church, I think. Fender bender.

3. One with my mom and I where someone broadsided us and took off. We had to go to the hospital so they could check my mom's head out, and I gave a description of the guy to the police, as I saw him. He made a disgusted face when he pulled out of our car and took off. I'll never forget the lack of concern on his face.

4. Rear-ended while in a car with a girl named Sara freshman year of college. It was a pickup truck hitting our car, and we both got whiplash pretty bad. Disoriented, I went home and it was a hassle getting her insurance to cover me since I wasn't on the accident report.

5. Very severe car accident with my friend Katie, coming home from a trip senior year. The car was totaled, we were going at least 50 mph, and it was the scariest shit in the world. We're both very very lucky we weren't hurt.

I had a few minor close calls in driving, but never had an accident while I was behind the wheel.

Amy Austin | May 25, 2005
Hmmm... I thought we'd be waiting longer for this part, but I say #5 for Scott also (that one's pretty hard to believe!) and #4 for both Lori *and* Kris. I simply can't believe that Anna's a pothead or has glaucoma, so #2 for her.

Now for mine, I guess:

1. I missed out on being in the National Spelling Bee over the word "relic".

2. I love the smell of mildew.

3. I won a prize for "Sexiest Toga" at a party in college.

4. I've been cliff-diving in Hawaii and Guam.

5. I used to own a great sampling of River Phoenix's DNA.

Anna Gregoline | May 25, 2005
#2 - Love the smell of mildew?

Amy Austin | May 25, 2005
Nope. That one is indeed true.

Amy Austin | May 25, 2005
I guess #3 & 4 aren't really that unbelievable... perhaps I should change them. Too late now, isn't it.

Edit: Well, I upped the ante a little bit. The answer is still the same number, though.

Denise Sawicki | May 25, 2005
Amy, I'll guess #1. #5 seems too wacky to make up.

Well Scott wears those velcro shoes, right? Perhaps he always did. I'm sure he could learn to tie shoes easily enough if he so desired but maybe he just doesn't see the need :P Just playing devil's advocate here.

Anyway it is more fun to say my own than to guess other people's.

1. I hate pop/soda.
2. I never had a drink of alcohol until after I turned 21.
3. I wear a digital watch because I can't tell time too well.
4. I have been to Antarctica to study cosmic rays.
5. I coauthored an article in a prominent physics journal at age 19 and just discovered that there is a temperature named after me.

Anna Gregoline | May 25, 2005
Denise, I'll guess #4.

Anna Gregoline | May 25, 2005
Oh, and Amy - my #2 is absolutely true. =)

Jackie Mason | May 25, 2005
[hidden by request]

Amy Austin | May 25, 2005

Ditto, on my guess for Denise (#4). But sadly, Denise, my #1 is also true. I did not know the word "relic" in the 5th grade (much to my garage sale/junk store/thrift & antique shop-loving mom's dismay), and as I slowly spelled out "R-E-L-I-C-...", I did not see her in the audience trying to wave off my final hesitant "...K, 'relick'." The word made me think of "relish" and just seemed to beg for a more final letter. Alas, I came in 4th. And the shittiest part was that I knew everyone else's words -- even the ones that sounded long and hard!

Amy Austin | May 25, 2005
Jackie, I say #2 for you -- I don't know why, really... because you're in Chicago? And Anna already says that she does smoke up every day (!!!), so I now say it's #4 for her, too.

Sorry, Jackie, but I did own half a towel with Mr. Phoenix's sweat on it -- saw him wipe with it myself at a performance of his band Aleka's Attic. My best friend and I begged his mother (and stage manager) for it as soon as they took a break, and we ripped it in half to share. I kept it for about a decade (years after his death, anyway) and then stupidly gave it away to someone who claimed to know him personally. A real douche of a woman that I used to work with. I wonder if she still has it?

Denise Sawicki | May 25, 2005
Aw, Amy, I was originally going to guess 3, I think, but you tricked us by seeming to admit that 3 + 4 were not the answers :P. So I'll guess 3. Anyway, mine was fairly obvious I suppose. I did however get an offer to do that, so I probably could have if I'd really wanted to!

I'll say 4 for Jackie and 1 for Anna, who knows why...

Amy Austin | May 25, 2005
Hahaha... no, Denise, I didn't trick you at all -- just trying to make 3 & 4 more "unbelievable", actually, since I thought the first options sounded boring and obvious! But you *still* got it wrong!!!

I haven't been parasailing in Thailand *or* cliff-diving in Hawaii/Guam... not because I wouldn't want to (well... I don't know about cliff diving, actually...), but because the Navy doesn't *allow* such risky behavior in port. And as much as I don't mind law-breaking when I feel it's ridiculous or an infringement on my freedom, I *would* fear the repercussions of having to be attended to by Navy medical personnel and the ensuing NJP ("non-judicial punishment" -- i.e., probably restriction &/or reduction in rank/pay, all of which would SUCK!) if I got injured! Sorry... ;-D

Denise Sawicki | May 25, 2005
sounds like good reasoning :) I'm extremely bad at this game. I didn't make a guess on Scott for fear of offending him by not having a clue as to the correct answer. Everybody else, I don't especially know, so I probably won't do anything other than make myself look dumb by guessing wrong :)

Amy Austin | May 25, 2005
Nah, I'm sure that everyone -- Scott included, since it was his idea! -- just sees it as good, clean fun... although I am still pretty stunned to learn that Anna is a pothead... ;-DDD (Nothing wrong with that!!!)

Scott Horowitz | May 25, 2005
Hmmm... Let me think.
1) I keep all my change in an empty Pretzel Keg
2) I own the He-Man and She-Ra Christmas Special on VHS
3) I blew up a computer I was building by grounding the entire mother board (I have a BS in Electrical Engineering)
4) I tried out for the Penn State Football Team
5) My 2 best friends paid for me to have a lap dance because I hadn't had sex in a really long time.

Amy Austin | May 25, 2005
Wow, I can't decide between 2 & 4, Scott -- those are both *really* hard to believe! I guess I'll go with 2, though... mostly because I'll laugh my ass off if it's wrong!!!

Anna Gregoline | May 25, 2005
This is hysterical!

I think we should do this regularly, but next time, everyone posts their 5 things without guessing everyone else's until a day or two later. Then we can post our list again with explanations!

Amy guessed it with her second try - My number #4 is false, surprisingly, given my inept athletic ability. I was in Track and Field senior year of high school, as a hurtler, if you can believe that! 5'4" me doing hurtles!


1. I've skydived.

Yep. Senior year of college. I went twice, the first time I missed it mostly cause I was so scared.

2. I smoke the ganja almost every day.

3. I've been in five car accidents, none while I was driving.

4. I never played sports in high school.

5. I've only worked in three places my whole life.

True as well - the library at home, first as a Page and then as a desk clerk, second after graduating at an immigration law firm, and my current law firm.

Scott Horowitz | May 25, 2005
I'm not revealing mine for a while, I want to see more guesses.

Denise Sawicki | May 25, 2005
Good idea, Anna. I might have 4 more surreal things somewhere.

Denise Sawicki | May 25, 2005
The temperature thing is a wee bit of an exaggeration since this (link) is probably the only occasion on which the term has ever been used. But I thought it was kinda cool.

Scott Horowitz | May 25, 2005
Anna, you pot head..... No wonder you're a liberal too! :)

Anna Gregoline | May 25, 2005
I never used to be - blame my fiance, he got me into it. But, it's greatly contributed to calming my OCD and making me a generally less-stressed person. Self-medication is a good thing.

Scott Horowitz | May 25, 2005
Now, this is probably a good thing that Scott made TC private. Considering you work in a law firm.

Aaron Shurtleff | May 25, 2005
Gosh, the only things I can think of for myself are bad things...and 1) I'd hate to think people thought I was bragging about them (although I'm not ashamed of some of them!) and 2) I'd hate to ruin my sterling reputation so soon! :P

However, for the sake of this game:

1) I have accepted and won a $25 bet that a couldn't "score" with a particular girl.

2) I have caused, through a deliberate inaction on my part, the direct death of another human.

3) I have not only sold illegal drugs, but I have sold them to children under the age of 13.

4) I once purposely made a person I disliked severely ill by adding finely crushed peanuts to a thai dish I made (knowing he/she was allergic).

5) I have convinced a person to knowingly drink my pee, without the promise of any type of reward or consideration.

No one's probably going to want to know which is fake, but there you go.

Anna Gregoline | May 25, 2005
I thought of that, but honestly, saying something on the internet is not the same as making it true. For all you know, I'm lying my head off.

And Aaron, I'm horrified.

Scott Horowitz | May 25, 2005
Horrified, Hell, I'm impressed, Aaron.

John E Gunter | May 25, 2005
You're the man Aaron! LOL

3 seems to be the most likely to be a lie to me, but I could be wrong.


Kris Weberg | May 25, 2005
I'll go with 4 being false, unless 2 is true because you did nothing after 4. Peanut allergies don't usually cause general illness, they cause anaphylactic shock -- the throat closes up and the victim suffocates.

Kris Weberg | May 25, 2005
Oh, and Aaron's #2 isn't necesarily the horrible sort of thing many of you are imagining -- if someone's dying in a burning house, and I'm too scared to run in because I don't want to be injured, that's "deliberate inaction" on my part and might well be said to cause the "direct death" of another human being.

Erik Bates | May 25, 2005
Aaron, you scare me. I love it.

Ok, here's mine.

1) I got one of my friends fired from his job simply because I thought it would be funny.

2) it took me 6 years and 4 majors to graduate from college.

3) My mother considered holding me back in 1st grade because I was younger than the other kids.

4) In addition to my class C driver's licence, I also have a class M endorsement (motorcycle, in case you were wondering)

5) If I weren't quitting my current job, I was going to get fired at the end of the year anyway.

Lori Lancaster | May 25, 2005
[hidden by request]

Steve West | May 26, 2005
I could think of one possibility for Aaron's #3 that would let him off the heinous hook and that would be if he was thirteen selling a nick's worth of dope to his twelve year old best friend. That could happen, I guess, and not be considered heinous.

As for mine:

1) I used to be in the Guiness Book of World Records for the longest time living in a tree house (since broken by a long margin).

2) I've been to Hawaii and returned with only two souveneirs - a dead guy's Hawaiin shirt I got from Goodwill, and the shell of the anemone that stung me while I was snorkelling.

3) Recreated a National Lampoon joke by appearing in a high school talent show as "Mofo, the Psychic Gorilla."

4) I once dressed as David Hasselhoff for Halloween dressed only in a swimsuit, a brown wig, and spanish moss glued to my chest.

5) As a concierge, I once had NBA star Alonzo Mourning's illegally parked car towed from in front of my building.

Kris Weberg | May 26, 2005
#2 is false, because sea anemones don't have shells. They may leave behind something solid, but it's not a shell, it's more like the remains of the anemone's close relative, coral.

Kris Weberg | May 26, 2005
Wait, you guys are more upset about selling drugs to a 13-year-old than you are about the "caused the direct death of a human being" line?

Steve West | May 26, 2005
Whatever it was, it stung the shit out of my finger and I dragged its sorry ass back 5000 miles to my refrigerator, okay. That one was intended to be true.

And no, I'm not less upset over the direct death thing but I could conceive of a mitigating scenario like the one you proposed.

Amy Austin | May 26, 2005
Geez, seems I missed a lot while I was gone!

Well, Kris, you already explained away the horrific nature of Aaron's #3... and frankly, I think you're being a little too literal with your reasoning against these options! (I.e., differentiating between "general illness" and "anaphylactic shock"... the end result basically amounts to the same thing -- the severe discomfort of a friend, and nitpicking about anemone remains... although I was thinking about sea urchins at the time, anyway...) In any case, I will agree with you on Aaron's falsehood and say #1 for Steve. I'll say #5 for Erik's.

Amy Austin | May 26, 2005
Damn, that was meant to be *before* Steve's!

Steve West | May 26, 2005
Very intuitive and correct as usual!

Amy Austin | May 26, 2005

I give you big props for creativity, though... my favorite falsehood yet! (Have you ever seen the book of Treehouses by Peter B-...? can't think of his name right now -- hang on...)

Peter Nelson! I have it... cool book -- love treehouses, and I always wanted to stay at that village in Hawaii. In fact, I almost arranged it for my birthday (29th, I think) the year we came back from my first cruise. We were arriving in Hawaii on Jan. 8th, and I was taking some well-earned leave, but it was still going to cost me a bunch to island-hop and for the room (treehouse)... *and* I was going to be alone. :-( I only wanted one night, just to say I'd done it... but wound up waiting 2 days for a MAC flight out of Hickam AFB instead. (UGH, what a story *that* is!!!)

Kris Weberg | May 26, 2005
It's the mystery novel reader in me -- how many times does the killer blow it by including a logical impossibility in his/her alibi?

Amy Austin | May 26, 2005
Heheheh... ;-D True, true.

Jackie Mason | May 26, 2005
[hidden by request]

Anna Gregoline | May 26, 2005
I bet it's that Scott can't tie his shoelaces. That seems so right to me for some reason. =)

Dude, I love this thread.

Jackie Mason | May 26, 2005
[hidden by request]

Scott Horowitz | May 26, 2005
you're right about me, Jackie. I never tried out for football. I do sadly own the He-Man and She-Ra Christmas special though on VHS. I'm sure you're laughing quite a lot right now, Amy.

Amy Austin | May 26, 2005
I'm just wondering how long ago you bought it is all... (BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)

Scott Horowitz | May 26, 2005
About 7 years ago.

Amy Austin | May 26, 2005
So... when you were 12, right??? (BWAHAHAHAHAHA!!!)

(I'm sorry -- go ahead and read my last on the "Ok, Why?" disc, if you just wanna' laugh back, Scott... ;-D)

Scott Hardie | May 26, 2005
Jesus, this took off fast. I'll go in order.

My own made-up item is that I don't know how to tie my own shoelaces. I chose something close to the truth: I did not learn how to do it until I was fifteen (and even today I still can't tie well). By that age I was already wearing slip-on shoes and loving them, and I haven't stopped since. As for Hardie Scott, one of my father's great-aunts married a man with the last name Scott, and when they had a son together, her maiden name became the baby's first name. The purpose of my plastic surgery was to close a non-healing wound, not cosmetic. I'm banned from working at Target only because I quit without giving two weeks' notice. :-)

Jackie: I know it took you five years to finish school. I'm pretty sure you have never lived in a house, since I remember your long-standing complaints about how you and your sister grew up sharing a bedroom in your cramped home. I have an old photo of you as a brunette in high school. That leaves the two mundane items. I bet you want to visit a reservation and haven't, so you lied and said you did.

Scott: TC is no longer private. Anybody can read what Anna wrote. (And I was prepared to guess the lap dance item for you.)

Aaron: Fantastic list, best yet. I sympathize for the death you allowed to happen just as I sympathize for the death Lori witnessed, but as Kris said, it could easily be a technicality. Same thing with illegal drugs; a medicinal drug can be banned by the FDA for potentially harmful side-effects or something minor, without it being an illicit narcotic. (Boy am I going to look like a jackass tomorrow if Aaron says he sold coke to an eight-year-old.) I'm with Kris on the peanut thing, it seems the least plausible and easiest to make up. But I wouldn't be surprised no matter which of the five turned out to be the lie.

Erik: I bet that you never got a friend fired because you thought it would be funny. You're too much of a nice guy. Besides, I know most of the others are true. ;-)

Steve: Another great list. According to my own research online (and admittedly my skillz are poor compared to all you goo experts), "Mofo the Psychic Gorilla" was a Penn & Teller sketch, not a National Lampoon sketch. Since Penn & Teller came to prominence in the 1980s, and according to your birthdate on this site you would have been in high school in the 1970s, that's what I was prepared to guess was your lie. Then I saw that you revealed the answer and I was way off. :-) So what's the discrepancy, my research?

Amy Austin | May 26, 2005
Damn! I confused myself on Jackie's... I meant that I actually believed her on the house thing, because she lives in Chicago... but she doesn't, does she? She lives in Florida, doesn't she? Arrgghh... I can't keep all these personal facts straight anymore! Apparently the "Ok, Why?" BF wasn't the first of the day, after all! I'm going to bed!!!

(So, I guess he didn't like our lists, Denise... ;-p ;-D But I agree that Aaron's is the best... followed *very* closely by Steve's!)

Scott Hardie | May 26, 2005
I like everybody's lists. :-) I'm intrigued by the thought process of coming up with a convincing lie. Aaron has me stumped. Are you teasingly saying I don't like your list or Denise's because I didn't respond to them? I would have liked to respond (I would have been right on both) but the answers went up before I could.

Jackie does live in Chicago. Always has, except for college in downstate Illinois.

Steve Dunn | May 26, 2005
Aaron, dude, remind me not to piss you off.

Here's my list:

1) I was threatened by a bouncer in Brussels after I complained the club wouldn't let in my friend because he was wearing a turban.

2) I snorted cocaine off a toilet seat in a whorehouse in Rio de Janeiro.

3) I spent a night wandering the streets of Vienna, lost, penniless, pretending to be insane.

4) At a karaoke bar in Ho Chi Minh City, I delivered a patriotic speech about the greatness of America over the backing track of "Sweet Home Alabama."

5) I projectile vomited all over the bathroom of a nice restaurant in Amsterdam after eating too many mushrooms, then calmly returned to my table and quietly but firmly insisted to my friends that we needed to get the fuck out of there, like, right now.

Kris Weberg | May 26, 2005
#2 seems like a lie, but I so badly want it to be true.

Steve West | May 26, 2005
Sorry, my mistaken memory. The inspiration for my horrible shtik was National Lampoon's the Mona Gorilla. What I performed did not resemble what Penn and Teller did with their MOFO monkey head on a stick i.e. card tricks and other stuff that was actually cool and funny.

Aaron Shurtleff | May 26, 2005
Wow! The answers go up quick! I'll guess #3 for Erik, because I think it'll be the most likely to be true that's a lie. I'll guess #3 for Steve, too, and I wish I'd had half as many zany adventurers as he seems to have had!

Kris, your explanation about my number 2 is so close to the truth of what happened that I would almost swear you were there! I saw a building on fire, and I just watched it burn instead of calling the fire department. It later turned out someone was still inside. Maybe I could have made a difference, but I'll never know now. In my defense, I was 5 at the time! :)

As for #3, I did sell a small bag of the reefer to a friend of mine, but I technically "sold" it to his younger brother to give to him, and the brother was young enough to satisfy the condition. (And I knew the brother well enough to know that he delivered the package untouched..he was kind of a goody goody like that!)

#4 is also true, actually. I apologize for using the wrong terminology and throwing some of you off, but this guy was a total dick (not that I'm up for Man of the Year, but...)

That leaves #1 and #5... Are my powers of persuasion such that I can get people to drink my pee? Are my powers of seduction such that I can randomly score with women to win a $25 bet? Tune in later for the answers!

Anna Gregoline | May 26, 2005
2) I snorted cocaine off a toilet seat in a whorehouse in Rio de Janeiro.

That feels false to me.

Scott Horowitz | May 26, 2005
We should start doing the exact opposite, 4 false things and 1 truth. That may be fun as well

Amy Austin | May 26, 2005
And probably easier, too...

I'll go for #5, Aaron. After all, if you can pull off #5, then surely it must follow that you could do #1...!

Steve, I had no idea you were such a madman... and I'm going with the crowd on this one.

Michael Paul Cote | May 26, 2005
I know I'm late but here we go:

1) I have been arrested for stealing toilet paper.
2) I am 20 years older than my wife
3) In college I was part of a team that dismantled and reassembled a volkswagen beetle in a professor's class room
4) I have won 24 tequila drinking contests
5) I have competed nationally in a dance competition

Jackie Mason | May 26, 2005
[hidden by request]

Erik Bates | May 27, 2005
I, too, shall confess. Lori is the only one to call me out (unless I missed someone, then I apologize)

1) I did get one of my friends fired. Not a good friend, but a good acquaintance at least. He was an RA, I caught him drinking, and turned him in. Thought the whole thing was funny as hell. Granted, he was a piss poor RA who needed to go, and may have gotten fired without any help from me anyway.

2) Yeah, 6 years to graduate from college. No biggie.

3) My mother did consider holding me back in 1st grade because I was younger than all the other kids. I started school in a state with a later cut-off date, so all the other kids my age missed the cut-off date in Texas and had to start the next year.

4) Here's the lie - I don't have a Class M license, though I would love to have one.

5) It is true that I was going to be asked to not return next year, so it is a good thing I found another job. In fact, that bit of news is a good part of the reason I started looking for another job.

Steve Dunn | May 27, 2005
I kinda cheated on mine.

All of mine are true.

Here's the Vienna story: (link) The Brussels story happened during the same semester abroad.

Here's the Rio story (minus the little detail I shared here, which incidentally was my only venture into that particular aspect of the wild side): (link)

Here's the Amsterdam story (minus the little detail I shared here, though it is alluded to in the comment section): (link)

The Ho Chi Minh City story is self explanatory. I never wrote it up, but here is a photo from Vietnam: (link)

Kris Weberg | May 27, 2005
Steve, you so crazy!

Denise Sawicki | May 27, 2005
Michael, nobody answered you and I have no clue whatsoever but... 4

Jackie Mason | May 27, 2005
[hidden by request]

Kris Weberg | May 27, 2005
I'm gonna say #3 for Mike, since I know way too many people who claim to have pulled that stunt off.

Amy Austin | May 28, 2005
Oooh, I don't know -- I am *so* inclined to agree with Kris here on Michael's... but #1 is awfully tempting, too!!!

Steve! You're disqualified!!! ;-D

Michael Paul Cote | May 28, 2005
Well done Kris and Amy. I actually knew the group that did it, but since I know absolutely nothing about cars, they thought i'd be dead weight. The toilet paper - my room maye and I got caught in one of the dorms during winter break, ransacking a store room. The school was pissed cos we had a master key. oops.
I am twenty years older than my wife 50 - 30 kinda weird if you think about the fact that she was born the year after I graduated high school.
I was the Tequilla champ in my dorm junior year - undefeated. Sent many frat boys to their shame.
I taught ballroom dance for Fred Astaire and competed with my professional partner in Miami Beach at a National competition.
It was nice to see that my choice wasn't too obvious.

Amy Austin | May 28, 2005
Wow... this has been quite an interesting (and fun) learning experience about this forum's participants!!! (But I was hoping that it would bring Mike Eberhart out of the woodwork, too -- haven't heard anything from him in quite some time now... where *is* he???!!!)

Michael, I can't believe you're 50???!!! -- is that an old photo of you? I knew that one wasn't it, because I think you mentioned an age difference with your wife before... but I did almost think that the falsehood must have been in the exaggeration -- you hadn't said by how much you were older, and I had *no idea* that it was 20 years!!! Way to rob that cradle, man! ;-D I'm also amused by your storeroom story and intrigued by the dancing. Now if only you had said that you taught ballroom dance *to* Fred Astaire, then it might have been a little bit easier! ;-DDD

Michael Paul Cote | May 31, 2005
The picture is within the last 6 months. John G. took it.

Aaron Fischer | June 1, 2005
1. Classified
2. Classified
3. Classified
4. Classified
5. Classified

I could tell you, but then i'd have to kill you!

Amy Austin | June 1, 2005
Aaron, I'm gonna' go out on a limb here and say that it's #5.

Aaron Fischer | June 1, 2005
Wholly crap, you're the grand prize winner :)
I'm sure relieved I don't have to kill anyone now.

Amy Austin | June 1, 2005
Damn, I'm good... ;-D

Mike Eberhart | June 1, 2005
I'm still here, I've just been reading what's going on and have chosen to stay silent for awhile. I was even considering retiring altogether from the goo game, but I chose instead to just play the goo's and stop posting for awhile. However, reading this thread has definately enlightened me on one of the user's here. I know that I can never have another serious conversation with that person again.

But thanks for wondering what happened to me. I'll try to come up with a list and post it for you sometime today.

Anna Gregoline | June 1, 2005
Nice to see you Mike - was that comment really necessary though? Now everyone is going to be wondering who earned your scorn.

Scott Horowitz | June 1, 2005
I'm curious as to which user you are talking about.

Mike Eberhart | June 1, 2005
Ok, here's my list:

1. I lost my flight's guide-on (that's a flag for the non-military types) while in boot camp and had to march with my hand in the air acting like it was the flag until our guide-on was returned to me.

2. I finished out my AF career at the rank of O-3, which is a Captain.

3. I once drove my dad's convertible down the interstate and topped out at 120MPH.

4. I've been to 32 out of the 50 states.

5. I dove head first through a glass door because my cousin stole my frisbee and locked me out.

There you have it, not too exciting, but it's a start. I might come up with some more once you all get through these. I have a lot that I could use from boot camp.

Mike Eberhart | June 1, 2005
I didn't name names, that's why I spoke generally. I'm not going to say who, so it's best to leave it at that. Also, I didn't say that I wouldn't talk with that person, I just said I wouldn't have any serious discussions with said person... That is all.

Anna Gregoline | June 1, 2005
Ah. Cute.

Erik Bates | June 1, 2005
It's me.

Mike can't have serious conversations with people who lie about riding motorcycles. It's cool, Mike. I still love ya.

Amy Austin | June 1, 2005
Hmmm... not sure what to say now.

HOWEVER... if I know boot camp, Mike, then #1 is not it -- sounds all too true to me! ;-) And if I know the Air Force (and I don't), then I'm going to say that your #2 is the inaccuracy here. I do remember you saying that you had done both sides of the coin, that is true, but... if I remember correctly... you also said that you only did 6 years? Now, even if you only spent *one* of those years as a (semi-)"working man", then for you to promote to the rank of Captain in the remainder of your service is not only quite dazzling, but I would think that you were *CRAZY* to leave at that level -- you could practically chair the JCS at that rate!

Scott Hardie | June 1, 2005
I'm with Amy on her prediction, for the same reasons she explained.

No dis intended, of course. I'm sure you were a fine officer. :-)

Jackie Mason | June 2, 2005
[hidden by request]

Mike Eberhart | June 2, 2005
Ok, I think I left enough time pass. Amy & Scott, you are both right about my final rank. I wasn't an O-3, I was commissioned as a 2nd LT for approximately 1hr. Then I was medically discharged with a bad back. My official termination rank and what's listed on my Honorable Discharge is E-3. Airman 1st Class.

However, all the rest was true. I have been to 32 states, and the boot camp thing did happen. It was towards the very end of boot camp and the last rotation of duties, I got stuck being the flag bearer. I posted the guide-on outside of the mess hall before lunch one day, and walked off and forgot it. Some officer picked it up and gave it to my FTO, who wouldn't give it back to me for a couple of days. He made me march as if I had the guide-on, performing all the moves, and routines that the guide-on would do, only I had to hold my hand in the air and act like it was the flag. And whenever the wind blew, I had to wave my hand to simulate the flag blowing. It was a blast, now....:)

Amy Austin | June 2, 2005
Yes, these things are especially funny to those of us who have also been to boot camp and made to do ridiculous things to emphasize our mistakes in training... E & I had a good chuckle just now. ;-D

Jackie Mason | June 16, 2005
[hidden by request]

Scott Hardie | June 17, 2005
I think everyone has revealed their false answers, but not everyone has participated in the first place. John? Dave? Other Dave? Ed? Jerry?

Amy Austin | June 17, 2005
Where'd Aaron Shurtleff go??? Haven't heard from him in a while, it seems...

Jackie Mason | June 17, 2005
[hidden by request]

Scott Hardie | June 17, 2005
I do, in fact, know how to tie shoelaces... But not very well. I somehow didn't learn until my teens. After a few years of not knowing, I think I just became too embarrassed to ask.

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