Scott Hardie | May 15, 2005
Supply a caption to this photo.

Scott Hardie | May 15, 2005
Source: (link)

Kris Weberg | May 15, 2005
Barbarella: Episode One

Steve West | May 16, 2005
Jared's continuous consumption of Subway sandwiches leads to an unexpected result.

Jackie Mason | May 16, 2005
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Scott Hardie | May 16, 2005
Nobody puts the moron in "oxymoron" like Paris Hilton.

Erik Bates | May 16, 2005
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Aaron Shurtleff | May 16, 2005
How would you like something greasy? Something nasty? Something so bad for you, it will undoubtedly lead to your death? What if we threw in a truck and a burger?

Anna Gregoline | May 16, 2005
Take it from Paris Hilton - our burgers are easy going down, and easy coming up.

Kris Weberg | May 16, 2005
Through a miracle of engineering, scientists today developed a bathing suit capable of making Paris Hilton seem even skankier.

Michael Paul Cote | May 16, 2005
I'd slap this right onto my thighs...if I could find them! Oh wait...they're the things above my feet that never touch each other. Never mind.

Scott Hardie | May 16, 2005
Before agreeing to do this commercial, Paris made her usual contractual demand that her co-star have a higher total fat content than she does.

Kris Weberg | May 16, 2005
"And that's why historians call May 14, 2005, 'The Day America Jumped the Shark.'"

Kris Weberg | May 16, 2005
Somewhere, Nicole Richie is posing with a Chalupa in front of a Ford Pinto.

Scott Hardie | May 17, 2005
I know which one would be a more interesting dinner companion.

Kris Weberg | May 17, 2005
The Pinto, I'm guessing. Unlike Richie and Hilton, it's unpredictable.

Jackie Mason | May 18, 2005
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Kris Weberg | May 18, 2005
Michael's is great, in fact, all of these are quite good, but I gotta say I find Arthur's the funniest comment on the thread. Makes me laugh out loud every time I read it.

Sadly, I'd actually like to try the burger itself , since I like both jalapenos and BBQ. Fortunately for my arteries, there are no Carl's, Jr. restaurants in North Carolina.

Amy Austin | May 18, 2005
I second that emotion (if you're talking about Aaron's... and I assume that you are!) -- didn't see it coming and makes me laugh every time, too.

Carl's Jr.: hotter (and juicier) than this pearl necklace he gave me!

John E Gunter | May 19, 2005
Damn Amy, I wish I had thought of that line! That's the best one I've seen on the thread so far. The other captions are funny as well, but yours is the best.

I say that mostly due to the slutty venire that Paris has so carefully cultivated, not necessarily on purpose either!


Anna Gregoline | May 19, 2005
Man, the combo of Paris Hilton, huge burger and "pearl necklace" is making me want to puke.

Kris Weberg | May 19, 2005
Really? I was ready at "Paris Hilton."

Amy Austin | May 19, 2005
My pleasure, John! ;-D (Hey... too bad she's not endorsing McDonald's -- that would be a good one, too: "McRibbed... for her pleasure.")

Kris, if it weren't for reading Anna's comment above yours... well... I don't know. (Even better would be: "You had me at 'Paris Hilton'," a la Jerry Maguire. ;-D)

John E Gunter | May 19, 2005
Don't forget when you're endorsing McDonalds...

"She really likes that special sauce!"

or, "Don't forget the special sauce!"

This one is really bad...

"Two all beef patties, special sauce on Paris Hilton's buns!"

Couldn't resist.


Amy Austin | May 19, 2005
HAHAHAHAHA... don't worry -- I don't blame you. (Whoa... deja-vu! ;-D)

Michael Paul Cote | May 20, 2005
How about - "I haven't had this much beef in my hand for, oh 30 seconds."

Kris Weberg | May 20, 2005
Contains artificial coloring, flavoring, and preservatives. The burger's all natural, though.

Kris Weberg | May 24, 2005
By a strange cosmic coincidence, Kid Rocks' personal Heaven also functioned as Ralph Nader's personal Hell.

Scott Hardie | May 25, 2005

Based solely on the photo that we've been mocking for a week, I was prepared to tell the Parents Television Council to get the stick out of their asses. But now I've watched the full video (link) and, well, I'm pretty much as disgusted as they are.

John E Gunter | May 25, 2005
That commercial reminds me so much of a scene out of Kentucky Fried Movie. As I remember it, you have a couple basically having an intimate moment, I'd say somewhere between G and PG rating and by the end of the scene, they plug some satellite weapons system or something similar. They are making fun of sex in advertising having nothing to do with the product.

Boy let me tell you, life imitates art that's for sure!


Aaron Shurtleff | May 25, 2005
Catholic High School Trouble!

Kris Weberg | May 25, 2005
John said: Boy let me tell you, life imitates art that's for sure!

Yep, and life seems to be imitating whatever the hell this is too.

Kris Weberg | May 25, 2005
Well, having watched the spot, I think I can say that it's the least sexy attempt at being sexy I've ever seen.

Michael Paul Cote | May 25, 2005
Kinda reminds me of the sex scene in one of the Hot Shots movies where Charlie Sheen fries an egg on his lady's belly.

John E Gunter | May 25, 2005
Mmmm...yes, I remember the Catholic High School Girls part! LOL

How about, Danger Seekers!


Amy Austin | May 25, 2005
HAHAHAHAHA... great comparison, Michael! Yep, I think I need some time -- quite a bit of it -- between seeing that commercial and eating one of their burgers!

Jackie Mason | May 26, 2005
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Scott Hardie | May 26, 2005
I see it, too, Jackie. But at least Miss Piggy has wit.

Sometimes I get bored and wonder how much money disturbed fans have offered Frank Oz to record a scene of Miss Piggy and Yoda in the throes of passion.

Amy Austin | May 26, 2005
ULCCHHH... you *do* have a sick mind, Scott!

Anna Gregoline | May 26, 2005
Aw, you know Ms. Piggy only loves Kermit and men with money - Yoda lives in that hut in the swamp! She'd never be down.

Scott Hardie | May 26, 2005
Ok, fine. Maybe Yoda and Kermit singing a duet of "It's Not Easy Being Green"?

Lori Lancaster | May 27, 2005
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Anna Gregoline | May 27, 2005
Can someone a little more Star Wars than me tell me what Yoda IS? Like what is his species? I don't think I ever heard that.

I'm seeing Episode III tomorrow! I'm getting excited!

Scott Hardie | May 27, 2005
It's never been said, although fans unofficially call him a "Whill." I have never been quite so disturbed by a Star Wars character as by the appearance of a female Whill: (link)

Anna Gregoline | May 27, 2005
Yikes, that will put anyone off their lunch.

Denise Sawicki | May 27, 2005
She's no uglier than Yoda. Why do only girls have to be cute? I say that's sexism :)

Scott Hardie | May 27, 2005
It wasn't an ugliness issue, although both Yaddle and Yoda are never going to be sex symbols, except maybe in that Onion article. (link) It was just that I've always thought of Yoda as one-of-a-kind, that we'd never meet more of him. The sudden appearance of a female Yoda was a psychic shock.

Anna Gregoline | May 27, 2005
Yeah, I agree. Yoda should just be the only Yoda.

She doesn't have to be cute - I'd rather she not BE.

Denise Sawicki | May 27, 2005
OK, I was just being silly :) not overly familiar with the whole Star Wars mythology am I :P

Kris Weberg | May 27, 2005
Yaddle? Wasn't that a really bad Barbra Streisand movie about Yeshiva school?

Amy Austin | May 28, 2005
Actually, I was going to say something similar to Denise, because I kind of read it the same way... but I understand now. What I *was* going to say was something along the lines of this:

So, Scott... you mean to tell me that you think about Yoda & Miss Piggy, and you aren't "disturbed" -- but Yaddle... now *that's* disturbing you???!!! Sicko.


Michael Paul Cote | May 28, 2005
How did we start discussing Paris Hilton and end up talking about disgusting green yaddles? Oh, I guess it's not that far a stretch!

Kris Weberg | May 28, 2005
Why would a female Yoda have hair?

Kris Weberg | May 28, 2005
Oh gods. now I'm imagining the Paris Hilton ad with Yaddle in it, and I want to stab myself in the eyes.

Scott Hardie | May 31, 2005
Sorry, Denise. I missed the sarcasm-signifying smiley. Isn't it fun when you're pointing out the error of somebody else pointing out your error and only one of you is capable of seeing the irony and it's not you? :-)

Kris Weberg | May 31, 2005
Now I'm confused, as Denise's post has vanished.

Amy Austin | May 31, 2005
No, it hasn't -- he's talking about 5/27, 05:31... aren't you, Scott???

Aaron Fischer | June 1, 2005
... MMM. Forbidden Burger! --- Homer Simpson

Jackie Mason | June 5, 2005
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