I take joy in finding out that the ex that f-ed around on me 3 times while we were dating now appears to be divorced from the first guy she married, and is now apparently married to the guy she f-ed around with all three times we were dating. I am happy because a) she obviously really really liked the guy and b) now I know that it really was her, and not me. I beat the sh!t out of myself for so long, trying to figure out what I did wrong to drive her to cheat, and now I see that she had the problem, not me! I actually feel better. Is that messed up??

Anyhow, I'm going to Maine for a week, so if you don't hear from me, that's why.

Not that I am a especially vocal part of the community here lately, but you know what I mean...


Two Replies to 30-VI-2009 or Is it wrong to be happy?

Amy Austin | June 30, 2009
I don't know, Aaron... I mean, *I* don't think it is -- but then I myself am dying here for the same sort of validation about a situation that I am still far from being "over". I regularly beat the shit out of myself, too, for the same reasons you mention... as well as the fact that I cannot wish well (in fact, I even wish ill) for the people who have hurt me so badly. If it truly is messed up, then know that I am just as messed up (maybe much more) right along with you. That may or may not give you any comfort, I know. ;-\

Jackie Mason | July 1, 2009
[hidden by author request]


MiracleASSassin

Aaron Shurtleff uses this area as a dumping ground for his random thoughts... Read more »

10-VII-2006 or Thinking too hard

I'm thinking too hard about it. I'm letting my fears get the best of me. I need to relax and just deal with things from a position of confidence, not weakness. Go »

19-IV-2008 or Short But Sweet

I just sent Scott an e-mail with a new picture for the site. It's not the best, but it's more accurate of what I look like. Song of the day: "Short But Sweet" by M.O.D. Go »

15-VI-2007 or Feeling Like a Monday...

...but someday I'll be Saturday night. Another crazy Bon Jovi song...got Go »

31-X-2007 or Quick funny

I was at Target today working, and they were giving me crap. My co-worker thinks one of the other employees was hitting on me (she totally wasn't), and she's been telling people about how funny she thinks it is. Well, anyway, my immediate superior comes up to me, and he's patting me on the back, and he's razzing me, and he says, "C'mon, playa! Go »

4-VIII-2006 or Dogs and Ponies and VP's, Oh, $h!t!

Heh. Today, the new VP of Agricultural Research or whatever is touring our facility, so ain't squat gonna get done. I had to spend most of the day yesterday cleaning up and making the lab basically look like no one does anything. Go »

24-X-2008 or GOO Con, Here I Am/Be!

Well, if all goes well, I am reading this post aloud at GOOCon. I tried to find one that I should read (and I even tried to get folks to suggest a post), but I got nothing. (Thanks guys and gals!) Go »