I take joy in finding out that the ex that f-ed around on me 3 times while we were dating now appears to be divorced from the first guy she married, and is now apparently married to the guy she f-ed around with all three times we were dating. I am happy because a) she obviously really really liked the guy and b) now I know that it really was her, and not me. I beat the sh!t out of myself for so long, trying to figure out what I did wrong to drive her to cheat, and now I see that she had the problem, not me! I actually feel better. Is that messed up??

Anyhow, I'm going to Maine for a week, so if you don't hear from me, that's why.

Not that I am a especially vocal part of the community here lately, but you know what I mean...


Two Replies to 30-VI-2009 or Is it wrong to be happy?

Amy Austin | June 30, 2009
I don't know, Aaron... I mean, *I* don't think it is -- but then I myself am dying here for the same sort of validation about a situation that I am still far from being "over". I regularly beat the shit out of myself, too, for the same reasons you mention... as well as the fact that I cannot wish well (in fact, I even wish ill) for the people who have hurt me so badly. If it truly is messed up, then know that I am just as messed up (maybe much more) right along with you. That may or may not give you any comfort, I know. ;-\

Jackie Mason | July 1, 2009
[hidden by author request]


MiracleASSassin

Aaron Shurtleff uses this area as a dumping ground for his random thoughts... Read more »

12-II-2009 or Say What Now?

I got my little Ticketmaster e-mail, about upcoming shows in my area, and I got really excited, because I looked it over quick, and I saw "An Evening With Dio"! So as I dance around the office, with "Holy Diver" running through my head and a joyous smile blossoming on my face, I look a little closer... An Evening With Il Divo. Go »

21-V-2007 or Has it been a month already?

I can't believe it! I really suck! :( Anyhow, I am no longer receiving the attention of a member of the psychiatric profession, so that period of my life is over (for now). Go »

Hey!

Gotta clean the dust out of here... Also gotta hope no one sees me doing something that is not RB concerts... Yay! Go »

12-VII-2009 or Dance With The Dead In My Dreams

Hey, everybody! Long time, no hear! How are you all doing today? Go »

10-VII-2017 or Petty Vengeance

Dear Scott Hardie, So. Reading the latest in geek news. Oh, what is this? Go »

10-VII-2006 or Thinking too hard

I'm thinking too hard about it. I'm letting my fears get the best of me. I need to relax and just deal with things from a position of confidence, not weakness. Go »