I take joy in finding out that the ex that f-ed around on me 3 times while we were dating now appears to be divorced from the first guy she married, and is now apparently married to the guy she f-ed around with all three times we were dating. I am happy because a) she obviously really really liked the guy and b) now I know that it really was her, and not me. I beat the sh!t out of myself for so long, trying to figure out what I did wrong to drive her to cheat, and now I see that she had the problem, not me! I actually feel better. Is that messed up??

Anyhow, I'm going to Maine for a week, so if you don't hear from me, that's why.

Not that I am a especially vocal part of the community here lately, but you know what I mean...

Three Replies to 30-VI-2009 or Is it wrong to be happy?

Amy Austin | June 30, 2009
I don't know, Aaron... I mean, *I* don't think it is -- but then I myself am dying here for the same sort of validation about a situation that I am still far from being "over". I regularly beat the shit out of myself, too, for the same reasons you mention... as well as the fact that I cannot wish well (in fact, I even wish ill) for the people who have hurt me so badly. If it truly is messed up, then know that I am just as messed up (maybe much more) right along with you. That may or may not give you any comfort, I know. ;-\

Scott Hardie | July 1, 2009
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Jackie Mason | July 1, 2009
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Aaron Shurtleff uses this area as a dumping ground for his random thoughts... Read more »

22-II-2007 or Speaking of crap...

I wrestled with not saying this, but I've been transparent about everything thus far, so here's the latest medical drama. I getting a colonoscopy tomorrow. That involves a lot of "cleansing" this evening, and a lot of I can't eat anything today and tomorrow. Go »

2-VIII-2006 or Why am I so angry?

Yeah, I decided to go with putting in the date. It makes me feel chronological and stuff. Welcome to Day 2 of the blog! Go »

2-X-2008 or Oh, YEAH!

That's why I stopped playing the Devil in Rock Block! I knew there was some reason... Go »

24-X-2008 or GOO Con, Here I Am/Be!

Well, if all goes well, I am reading this post aloud at GOOCon. I tried to find one that I should read (and I even tried to get folks to suggest a post), but I got nothing. (Thanks guys and gals!) Go »

25-VIII-2006 or All good things...

Last night was the last night of the regular kickball season. The playoff tournament is going to take place while I am in Denmark, so I am done. I will miss kickball. Go »

13-X-2006 or Yeah, yeah, yeah I know what day it is.

Why is it that the sanest people I know (not saying much) always go batsh!t on Friday the 13th? It's a day! Go »