I take joy in finding out that the ex that f-ed around on me 3 times while we were dating now appears to be divorced from the first guy she married, and is now apparently married to the guy she f-ed around with all three times we were dating. I am happy because a) she obviously really really liked the guy and b) now I know that it really was her, and not me. I beat the sh!t out of myself for so long, trying to figure out what I did wrong to drive her to cheat, and now I see that she had the problem, not me! I actually feel better. Is that messed up??

Anyhow, I'm going to Maine for a week, so if you don't hear from me, that's why.

Not that I am a especially vocal part of the community here lately, but you know what I mean...


Two Replies to 30-VI-2009 or Is it wrong to be happy?

Amy Austin | June 30, 2009
I don't know, Aaron... I mean, *I* don't think it is -- but then I myself am dying here for the same sort of validation about a situation that I am still far from being "over". I regularly beat the shit out of myself, too, for the same reasons you mention... as well as the fact that I cannot wish well (in fact, I even wish ill) for the people who have hurt me so badly. If it truly is messed up, then know that I am just as messed up (maybe much more) right along with you. That may or may not give you any comfort, I know. ;-\

Jackie Mason | July 1, 2009
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MiracleASSassin

Aaron Shurtleff uses this area as a dumping ground for his random thoughts... Read more »

25-VIII-2006 or All good things...

Last night was the last night of the regular kickball season. The playoff tournament is going to take place while I am in Denmark, so I am done. I will miss kickball. Go »

10-IV-2008 or Beavis and Butthead

I'm at work. I took my pill this morning, because I think I forgot to take it last night. From the way I'm feeling now, I think I double-medicated myself. Go »

25-IV-2007 or Ze pearl is in ze river

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21-V-2007 or Has it been a month already?

I can't believe it! I really suck! :( Anyhow, I am no longer receiving the attention of a member of the psychiatric profession, so that period of my life is over (for now). Go »

7-III-2007 or What You Don't Want to Hear

I understand that hearing about my stupid medical situations is probably annoying to everyone. Too bad. It's where I'm at, so I like to use my blog as a venting point, or at least to try to put down what I'm thinking/feeling. Go »

2-II-2007, or, I'm fine, thanks!

A quick message to those concerned (and apparently slightly confused about Florida locations): I am fine. I was not in the path of tornados. My place of employment was not in the path of tornados. Go »