I take joy in finding out that the ex that f-ed around on me 3 times while we were dating now appears to be divorced from the first guy she married, and is now apparently married to the guy she f-ed around with all three times we were dating. I am happy because a) she obviously really really liked the guy and b) now I know that it really was her, and not me. I beat the sh!t out of myself for so long, trying to figure out what I did wrong to drive her to cheat, and now I see that she had the problem, not me! I actually feel better. Is that messed up??

Anyhow, I'm going to Maine for a week, so if you don't hear from me, that's why.

Not that I am a especially vocal part of the community here lately, but you know what I mean...

Three Replies to 30-VI-2009 or Is it wrong to be happy?

Amy Austin | June 30, 2009
I don't know, Aaron... I mean, *I* don't think it is -- but then I myself am dying here for the same sort of validation about a situation that I am still far from being "over". I regularly beat the shit out of myself, too, for the same reasons you mention... as well as the fact that I cannot wish well (in fact, I even wish ill) for the people who have hurt me so badly. If it truly is messed up, then know that I am just as messed up (maybe much more) right along with you. That may or may not give you any comfort, I know. ;-\

Scott Hardie | July 1, 2009
[hidden by author request]

Jackie Mason | July 1, 2009
[hidden by author request]


Aaron Shurtleff uses this area as a dumping ground for his random thoughts... Read more »


Latest piece of happy University of Florida related e-mail that came through. I mean, it's good that they keep us informed, but I'm not driving all the way up to Gainesville for peanuts...even if they are big peanuts! Go »

18-VII-2007 or Three Days In A Row?

I know! I don't believe it either! And to all the haters out there, I got my hater-blockers on! Go »

6-V-2008 or I Fell Off The Wagon

You would think after a year of quitting the cigarettes, I would be in the clear. Nope. Temptation got the best of me. Go »

18-VIII-2006 or Are you doing that on purpose?

I keep reading Adrirants, but she's posting them and disabling replies! How can the peanut gallery comment? Maybe that's the point... Go »

12-VII-2008 or Furious Ranting

Warning! I'll be trying to watch my language, but I make no promises. Keep children and people with low tolerance for profanity away. Go »

15-VI-2007 or Feeling Like a Monday...

...but someday I'll be Saturday night. Another crazy Bon Jovi song...got Go »