This morning I found my black pants that have been gone for nigh on a year. They weren't even anywhere weird. They were just on the floor in the closet. I was completely shocked to find them because I thought we'd searched everywhere. I really thought someone took them, haha. (Darrin's sheets are still gone as far as I know. Do you know how dirty a pillow gets with no pillowcase for a year? I don't think you want to know. I try not to even go in the room with it. I should have gotten him new sheets and pillows for xmas! )

Well anyhow, perhaps the finding of the pants is a good omen.

Am I a big bitch, talking about things I talk about? Is it wrong to mention this pillow, etc? (I don't mention it to him as it's not my business.) I don't know how I come across to people. Like, Scott seemed to assume I didn't know that chocolate is poisonous to dogs and was only concerned about the carpet, whereas I was just assuming everyone knew that and would realize that I rushed the puppy to the vet and all (I just didn't mention it because it was too much of a digression from the story about desserts!) It seems like every thing I say somehow makes me look like a bad person. The Native American/Indian thing too. It's like I don't know how to say things inoffensively, or else I know and I just don't care and I beg people to like me anyway even though I am offensive. Perhaps I just *am* a bad person.

The twins and I had a grand time going shopping on the weekend. We had various gift certificates to the mall and we each wound up getting a new pair of shoes. I got an ultra cute coat on 75% off special. Darrell already had a cute coat and I wanted one :) My own coat was so old and beat up. Anyway this one makes me look like an Eskimo. It is camel-colored faux suede and has a giant halo of faux fur around the hood. You put up that hood and you're in your own little furry world. It's lovely. It's not so terribly warm though, it's more just made to be cute I think. Anyway that coat is Darrell's early birthday present to me, except I bought it, but I can feel less guilty because it is a "present".

I had Darrell pose in the coat with no shirt to try to imitate a recent rather hilarious Abercrombie and Fitch ad. I doubt the pictures came out quite as funny though since he couldn't stop smiling. I can't find the picture online now since it's supposed to be swimsuit season instead of coat season (ha ha). That store is evil though. I'm so far from being cool enough to walk in there. It's intimidating. This article is scary.

While we were out shopping, we saw so many furry items of clothing for girls. A girl could easily dress up as a muppet if she wanted. We saw this silly pair of boots that had extra long black fur all over and looked like the amputated feet of a muppet :P. There were furry green gloves that looked like Oscar the Grouch's hands. Boys' clothes (especially winter clothes) are generally quite dull and utilitarian in comparison. If a boy tries to wear that kind of stuff he'll look like a pimp :) Compare the boys' and the girls' sock department at Target sometime and see which one is more visually pleasing.


EDIT: I messed up again, the term "Eskimo" is widely considered offensive. I apologize. I probably missed a bunch of other offensive things I said :P Probably I should not even try to speak to anyone outside my little group, for fear of embarrassing myself.

CLARIFICATION #2: When I say "boys" and "girls" I'm referring to adults like myself :P


Six Replies to Found things, jerkishness, fuzziness

Lori Lancaster | February 21, 2007
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Amy Austin | February 21, 2007
Denise, you are about the most self-deprecating individual I've never met. Seriously.

That said... I concur wholeheartedly with Lori's muppet outrage.

Hm. "Eskimo" is offensive, huh? News to me. Last I knew, it was a good joke in the movie Heathers. (Perhaps this is why it's suddenly so offensive???)

Aaron Shurtleff | February 21, 2007
Wow. If talking about dirty pillows (and not in the "Carrie" sense...if you get that reference, I apologize) and dogs eating chocolate makes you a bad person, I have to say I must be Satan incarnate! I think it's just that you might be slightly more..um..sensitive to how you perceive other people are perceiving you. I have a similar problem, so I can totally sympathize.

And as a chronic sleep-drooler, I promise that there are probably much worse pillows out there! :)

Also, as a loyal employee of Target, I must agree that girl's socks are much more colorful than boys socks. But, then again, I think that's just how boys and girls are (stereotypically) expected to dress. Boys who dress flamboyantly are looked at funny, and girls who dress in a more masculine manner are also looked at differently. Not that there's anything wrong with that, as they said on Seinfeld.

Denise Sawicki | February 21, 2007
Well in Canada I guess it is offensive, most of the Canadian ones want to be called "Inuit". "Eskimo" is supposed to come from a word for "raw meat eaters" or something. Hrmm. I haven't seen Heathers or Carrie... violent movies give Darrell nightmares so I might not!!

We say blatantly offensive things in my house all the time but we understand each other and mean it ironically so it is OK. I just have a hard time behaving acceptably in the real world outside my house. It took me so long to find any measure of acceptance from anyone in life outside of my parents, that it's obvious there's *something* wrong with the way I act... heheh... unless like my one friend Eric said, the only thing wrong with me is that I think there's something wrong with me.... but there is something that set that thought in motion, and it's a vicious circle.

Thanks for the supportive words :)

Scott Hardie | February 22, 2007
Denise, you have written nothing offensive except for the criticisms you direct at yourself. The idea of Darrell imitating A&F ad is funny, I was just playing it safe about the chocolate, caseless pillows can get nasty, and I don't know about the socks thing but that's probably also true. Oh, and that article is indeed scary. I like this one better.

Jackie Mason | March 3, 2007
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Prayer for the Paranoid

Denise Sawicki posts whatever she feels able to post without serious consequences Read more »

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