Do-Re-Mi
as sung by Homer Simpson

DOh - The stuff that buys me beer.

RAY - The guy that sells me beer.

ME - The guy who drinks the beer.

FAR - A long way to get beer.

SO - I'll have another beer.

LA - I'll have another beer.

TEA - No thanks. I'm drinking beer!

That will bring us back to ... (looks into an empty glass)

DOH!

From big shot Bob in texas


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Just My Lucky Day, I Guess

Weekly shopping trips have been largely uneventful of late because of the absence of you know who, UOAS. She kind of startled me with her presence at the Safeway tonight and I wondered if God specifically was observing my sense of satisfaction over her MIA status. She noted my surprised expression and commented, "Long time no see!" Go »

Brenda's Diet Diary

Dear Diet Diary, As a Christmas present this year, my daughter, Lauren (what a thoughtful darling), bought me a week of personal training at the local health club. Although I am still in reasonable shape since being a high school cheerleader 40 years ago, I decided it would be a good idea to give it a try. I called the club and made my reservations with a personal trainer named Juan Antonio (ooh what a name) who identified himself as a 26-year-old aerobics instructor and model for athletic clothing and swim wear. Go »

Party Time!

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: I think our neighbor died. Brenda: Who? Ray? Go »

She Obviously Wants To Outsource

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: After getting a new toilet, I'm seriously in the mood for a new bathroom. me: Oh, really. Brenda: Yes, really. Go »

Auntie Em! It's a Twister, It's a Twister!

What the wind blew in this week. According to this chart, Rambo V will have someone die in the first minute of the film and five deaths per minute following. It's official, Robin Williams has turned into a troll. Go »

It's 419, Do You Know Where Your Dealer Is?

It's the eve of 420 and you don't have to be high to enjoy the following links, but it couldn't hurt. When this clock goes into production, it will be featured in my den. Smart dog or dumb dog? Go »