If It's Human Waste, Save Some For Me
by Steve West on August 23, 2007
Should Burt Reynolds' fecal matter be worth more than Crispin Glover's? Which costs more: David Lee Roth's fecal matter or Sammy Hagar's urine? Start your Christmas list now for Celebrity Organic Waste Products.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
You and Me, Albert
I just returned from an hour long wait at BestBuy to get a laptop we bought last week. I was there to retrieve it after the data transfer was completed by their Geek Squad. I stood in line watching four staff running around in circles helping one customer while me and six others in line watched stupefied. Go »Placing Lust's Arrow In Cupid's Quiver
It's refreshing to reflect that the human race survived the sexually repressive Victorian Era. That women actually overcame their culturally reinforced suppression of sexual urges and ultimately spread their legs for something other than yeast related trail-blazing. Let's relive those glory days with the Victorian Sex Cry Generator and see where Fern Michaels gets her inspiration. Go »Coolest Home Theater Ever
Chance of impressing your friends: 100% Chance of getting laid: Somewhat lower. This is definitely going to be a part of Barbie's Dream House. Especially if it comes with a replicator. Go »49 Out of 50 is Pretty Compelling
Forty-nine out of fifty states currently have snow on the ground from recent snowfalls. Guess which state is the only one without snow. That's right, Brenda. Go »Christmas and a Lizard's Tale
One Christmas when Lauren was eight, like a lot of girls her age, wished for a pony. My backyard at the time was about the size of a Volkswagen Minibus. Despite her assurances that she would let it roam the neighborhood for sufficient exercise, I said, “Not this year,” as I pictured myself following the horse with a pooper scooper. Go »
