Should Burt Reynolds' fecal matter be worth more than Crispin Glover's? Which costs more: David Lee Roth's fecal matter or Sammy Hagar's urine? Start your Christmas list now for Celebrity Organic Waste Products.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Unlike Burger King, Special Orders Upset Us

Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: Feel like Subway for lunch? me: Only if I get a foot-long sandwich that's actually 12 inches long. Go »

Double Talk with a Forked Tongue

I've decided that from now on, I'm going to answer every question like a presidential candidate. Friend (voter): "Steve, what are you gonna do this weekend?" Me (blahblahblah): "That's a great question and an important one. Go »

Al Jolsen Meets The Handmaid's Tale

Brenda went to a local clothing store which I refuse to name so as not to give them any free advertising. I'm a little pissed at them right now. She bought Lauren some new clothes for school including a new pair of jeans for $15.00. Go »

Tattooing's Last Frontier

Aside from internal organs, there doesn't seem to have been any body part un-tattooed except for the eyeball. Until now. Colored contact lenses weren't good enough for this guy and I really expect him to be the first guy with a spleen tattoo. Go »

Christmas Post #13: Gettin' Shamed At Christmas

Stop motion clip of some passed out guy ultimately getting wrapped in a string of Christmas lights. I laughed until I passed out. Merry Christmas drunk dude! Go »

Where's The Winch?

We took the girls sailing today. Unlike last year, Olivia did not throw a winch handle overboard because of our diligence in preventing it. The sailing is still free because of the heart of the owner who offers this once a month during the summer. Go »