Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: Steven!

me:Yes, queen of my soul.

Brenda: The bathroom sink is full of whiskers.

me: I'd scarcely call that full. That's clearly less than 20.

Brenda: It's 20 too many.

me: What can I say? I thought it was clean. Men grow beards. Beards need trimming. It's not my fault I'm a man.

Brenda: True but it is your fault that you're still a man. We have the technology. We can rebuild him.

me: You want me to have sex change surgery.

Brenda: Not completely. Just enough estrogen to make your facial hair stop growing.

me: Be careful what you wish for. Me with PMS would not be pretty. I can throw one mean hissy fit.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Who Needs a Karate Ghi?

Have you ever been in a position where you've had to choose between designer jeans or practicing jujutsu? Now your problems have been solved! You can have both. Go »

It's Still Rock and Roll To Me

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I heard a song on the radio on the ride home today and found myself returning to the 70's. Brenda: Like you ever left. me: Be that as it may, I was bobbing my head to Journey's Lovin, Touchin', Squeezin'. Go »

What'd I Step In?

Things stuck to the bottom of my internet shoe. Things not to do while wearing briefs made of beef jerky. (Besides wearing briefs made of beef jerky) Venezuelans believe children should not watch The Simpsons, offer more wholesome fare instead. Go »

Commercial Parodies

I've heard the phrase, "Yeah, that's when Saturday Night Live was funny." It's always been funny to me. Here are 18 clips of their best commercial parodies including Colon Blow cereal, Taco Town, and Homocil. Go »

Lucky Number 5

Brenda looked over my shoulder once to see what I was reading that made me chuckle. I told her it was an off-color joke involving the number 68. As it happened, she noticed that this joke appeared on page 68 of the book I was reading. Go »

Unlike Burger King, Special Orders Upset Us

Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: Feel like Subway for lunch? me: Only if I get a foot-long sandwich that's actually 12 inches long. Go »