Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: Steven!

me:Yes, queen of my soul.

Brenda: The bathroom sink is full of whiskers.

me: I'd scarcely call that full. That's clearly less than 20.

Brenda: It's 20 too many.

me: What can I say? I thought it was clean. Men grow beards. Beards need trimming. It's not my fault I'm a man.

Brenda: True but it is your fault that you're still a man. We have the technology. We can rebuild him.

me: You want me to have sex change surgery.

Brenda: Not completely. Just enough estrogen to make your facial hair stop growing.

me: Be careful what you wish for. Me with PMS would not be pretty. I can throw one mean hissy fit.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

The Peak of Stupidity

By far, the stupidest thing I ever did was at my brother's bachelor party almost 40 years ago. The memory of it still haunts me. A group of his friends (around 25 - I knew some, but we had gone separate paths shortly after High School) met at the house of one his construction co-workers in the Maryland countryside. Go »

I'll Have The Misogyny Au Gratin, Please

We were having dinner with my nephew the other night and the conversation steered toward his numerous relationships. He replied with that standard chauvinistic response, "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free?" My wife looked at him directly and retorted, "Yeah, why buy the whole pig for just a little sausage?" Go »

Unspoken Cultural Differences

Various hand gestures mean different things, depending on where in the world you happen to be. This guide to unspoken communication may be invaluable to those globetrotters out there. Go »

Unlike Burger King, Special Orders Upset Us

Recent conversation with Brenda. Brenda: Feel like Subway for lunch? me: Only if I get a foot-long sandwich that's actually 12 inches long. Go »

Vacation Week VI

I think leaving the state qualifies this as a vacation trip. We went to Pennsylvania and enjoyed ourselves at Hershey Park in Hershey, PA. The temperature was about 80 degrees (tolerable and pleasant) therefore the water was about 70 degrees tops (actually quite chilly). Go »

Goo Con III

What a fantastic time! Matt is truly one of the most gregarious, fun-loving and genuine people I know. Denise and Kelly were completely charming (of course!). Go »