Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: Steven!

me:Yes, queen of my soul.

Brenda: The bathroom sink is full of whiskers.

me: I'd scarcely call that full. That's clearly less than 20.

Brenda: It's 20 too many.

me: What can I say? I thought it was clean. Men grow beards. Beards need trimming. It's not my fault I'm a man.

Brenda: True but it is your fault that you're still a man. We have the technology. We can rebuild him.

me: You want me to have sex change surgery.

Brenda: Not completely. Just enough estrogen to make your facial hair stop growing.

me: Be careful what you wish for. Me with PMS would not be pretty. I can throw one mean hissy fit.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Hall Of Fame Ballot Contains No Rockers Or Rollers

Except for the Dave Clark Five, this year's crop of Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame nominees are lacking something: rock-n-roll credibility. I, myself, don't feel as strongly as the sentiments expressed in this article. I'm okay with John Mellencamp being on the ballot - just wouldn't vote for him before Kiss. Go »

Oprah Is Immortal

I was talking to Brenda about weight recently - about how hers is creeping up and mine is creeping down. I ran across this article afterwards and showed it to her as a peace offering (man that skillet to the skull really hurts!) Thigh size has been connected to a predilection for heart disease. Go »

Definitely A Hatchet Murderer

My car broke down at an intersection less than a mile from my work. I have roadside assistance but I couldn't read the fine print on the handy card they provided. The fine print was where the number was. Go »

Thorough Movie Reviews Revisited

Are you one of the group of people, like myself, who insist that they are not influenced by movie critics and make your film choices based on whim, fancy, instinct or some other method completely unrelated to some "professional's" opinion? Perhaps you should visit this website where you can rate (not review) movies yourself, and compare the result with a series of national reviewers to see whose opinion most closely matches yours. Maybe that particular reviewer deserves a second look since you two seem to be on similar movie viewing wavelengths. Go »

Book Autopsies

An artist named Brian Dettmer has a unique talent, at least I've never seen anything like it. Book autopsies in which he pares books to various levels and displays portions of their contents, words and illustrations, for an interesting perspective. Very clever. Go »

I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!

My toaster has a timer on it that let's you know when it's finished. It seems a little silly to add a timer beeping that's a redundant addition to the toast loudly popping up from the machine that means the same thing. So now, because the timer emits a sound eerily similar to an EKG indicating flatline, every time it goes off I'll say to Brenda, "He's bread, Jim." Go »