It's Not My Fault
by Steve West on March 24, 2012
Recent conversation with Brenda:
Brenda: Steven!
me:Yes, queen of my soul.
Brenda: The bathroom sink is full of whiskers.
me: I'd scarcely call that full. That's clearly less than 20.
Brenda: It's 20 too many.
me: What can I say? I thought it was clean. Men grow beards. Beards need trimming. It's not my fault I'm a man.
Brenda: True but it is your fault that you're still a man. We have the technology. We can rebuild him.
me: You want me to have sex change surgery.
Brenda: Not completely. Just enough estrogen to make your facial hair stop growing.
me: Be careful what you wish for. Me with PMS would not be pretty. I can throw one mean hissy fit.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Slip Slidin' Away
Why do adults get on children's slides? Compilation film of various acidents, big, small, young, and old. The fifth clip in of the guy going down the water slide head first sans kid almost gave me a brain hemorrhage from laughing. Go »Accidents Happen But This Is Ridiculous
You know, I've accidentally glued various parts of my body to odd things before. I glued my shirt to my stomach, once. But this guy takes the glue cake. Go »Speaking Of Tattoos...
"She Who Must Be Obeyed" (my wife) has graciously allowed me to alter my flesh by getting a tattoo. Much thought has gone into this. David Spade put it well after getting a Calvin of Calvin and Hobbes tattoo on his shoulder. Go »No Clowns On Halloween Allowed At My Door
Or "How Ronald McDonald Kicked My Ass" About ten years ago, shortly before Brenda and I got married, we attended a Halloween party at a friend's house. The primary reason to get together was obviously to dress up like we did when we were little but secondarily to get drunk as a sailor on shore leave. The standard "funny name" cocktails were offered like "sex on the beach" and "southern screw" and "raw sewage". Go »Do Pumpkins Exist Outside Of These Fall Holidays?
They should. I love the taste of homemade pumpkin pie. I almost didn't marry Brenda when she told me she couldn't make one but I thankfully reconsidered. Go »
