Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: Steven!

me:Yes, queen of my soul.

Brenda: The bathroom sink is full of whiskers.

me: I'd scarcely call that full. That's clearly less than 20.

Brenda: It's 20 too many.

me: What can I say? I thought it was clean. Men grow beards. Beards need trimming. It's not my fault I'm a man.

Brenda: True but it is your fault that you're still a man. We have the technology. We can rebuild him.

me: You want me to have sex change surgery.

Brenda: Not completely. Just enough estrogen to make your facial hair stop growing.

me: Be careful what you wish for. Me with PMS would not be pretty. I can throw one mean hissy fit.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Really Cheap Costumes

Looking for a great photo for a future Halloween section in that photo album you can show the grandkids? Just wear one of these T-shirts. And then get arrested. Go »

Halloween Post #8: Geek-O'Lanterns

Happy Halloween! Celebrate this absurdly lovable holiday with a time-consuming habit of making a jack-o-lantern. Despite the inherent silliness of carving a gourd as an act of celebration, these pumpkins are very impressive. Go »

Ahnuld's Dog, Heinrich

"Heel, Heinrich!", commands the Governator. "Kiss my grossly over-developed ass," snarls Heinrich in return. Go »

Be Afraid, Be Very Afraid

Because it's Iran Defense Week, their military was on parade to show their strength. Ahmadinejad claimed there were no gay men in the country. Perhaps, but a lot of them resemble Lady Gaga (Scoopy joke). Go »

And No Need for Anaesthesia

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I've decided that I'm not going to play that "got your nose" game with our grandkids. Brenda: Oh, really? me: Yeah, I'm going to play "got your appendix" instead. Go »

Party Time!

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: I think our neighbor died. Brenda: Who? Ray? Go »