It's Not My Fault
by Steve West on March 24, 2012
Recent conversation with Brenda:
Brenda: Steven!
me:Yes, queen of my soul.
Brenda: The bathroom sink is full of whiskers.
me: I'd scarcely call that full. That's clearly less than 20.
Brenda: It's 20 too many.
me: What can I say? I thought it was clean. Men grow beards. Beards need trimming. It's not my fault I'm a man.
Brenda: True but it is your fault that you're still a man. We have the technology. We can rebuild him.
me: You want me to have sex change surgery.
Brenda: Not completely. Just enough estrogen to make your facial hair stop growing.
me: Be careful what you wish for. Me with PMS would not be pretty. I can throw one mean hissy fit.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Have a Nice Day!
I'd like to get a part-time job now that I'm retired but can't seem to find any long-lasting energy (Damn MS!). Brenda suggested being a Wal-Mart greeter. "That doesn't take a lot of energy," she remarked. Go »Christmas and a Lizard's Tale
One Christmas when Lauren was eight, like a lot of girls her age, wished for a pony. My backyard at the time was about the size of a Volkswagen Minibus. Despite her assurances that she would let it roam the neighborhood for sufficient exercise, I said, “Not this year,” as I pictured myself following the horse with a pooper scooper. Go »So, I Got My Concealed Gun Permit, Yesterday...
...and went over to my local Bass Pro Shop to get a small 9mm pistol for home protection. When I was ready to pay for the gun and bullets, the cashier said, "Strip down, facing me." Go »Who Needs a Karate Ghi?
Have you ever been in a position where you've had to choose between designer jeans or practicing jujutsu? Now your problems have been solved! You can have both. Go »Where's The Winch?
We took the girls sailing today. Unlike last year, Olivia did not throw a winch handle overboard because of our diligence in preventing it. The sailing is still free because of the heart of the owner who offers this once a month during the summer. Go »
