It's Not My Fault
by Steve West on March 24, 2012

Recent conversation with Brenda:

Brenda: Steven!

me:Yes, queen of my soul.

Brenda: The bathroom sink is full of whiskers.

me: I'd scarcely call that full. That's clearly less than 20.

Brenda: It's 20 too many.

me: What can I say? I thought it was clean. Men grow beards. Beards need trimming. It's not my fault I'm a man.

Brenda: True but it is your fault that you're still a man. We have the technology. We can rebuild him.

me: You want me to have sex change surgery.

Brenda: Not completely. Just enough estrogen to make your facial hair stop growing.

me: Be careful what you wish for. Me with PMS would not be pretty. I can throw one mean hissy fit.

Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

I Am A Marketing Genius

Recent conversation with Brenda: me: I’m thinking of buying that 5-hour energy stuff. Brenda: Think it’ll be worth it? me: Depends on what it costs – that whole dollars to extra push-ups ratio. Go »

Sleep, Really?

Recent conversation with Brenda: Me: (after winning the wishbone break) Dead chicken says I get my wish. Brenda: What did you wish for? Me: What's your greatest fantasy? Go »

Special Olympics

"Special Olympics athletes are spokespersons for freedom itself - they ask for the freedom to live, the freedom to belong, the freedom to contribute, the freedom to have a chance. And, of all the values that unite and inspire us to seek a better world, no value holds a higher place than the value of freedom." - Eunice Kennedy Shriver Olivia's participation in today's Special Olympics was incredibly uplifting for me and Brenda. Go »

Stay-cation Week III

Leave it to Amy to call it what it is. She's 100% right so far but wait till Friday. Today's schedule was a little tight because we used up the morning clothes shopping for school. Go »

Dumb Celebrity Quotes

Anyone can say something stupid every once in a while, of course. But the celebrities featured on this website sure seem to make a habit of it. Only one quote per customer but they probably make up the usual suspects in the dumb quote hall of shame. Go »

Let Loose The Pigeons!

I got a phone call today from my Service Coordinator of Prince George's County officially welcoming me and my daughter, Olivia, into the Autism Waiver program - a state funded program intended for families with an autistic child offering funds for state approved services such as Aqua therapy, Occupational community trips, Speech therapy and even respite for Brenda and I. This has been a nine year wait since getting a diagnosis for Olivia at age 2. The waiting list is horrific. Go »