It's Not My Fault
by Steve West on March 24, 2012
Recent conversation with Brenda:
Brenda: Steven!
me:Yes, queen of my soul.
Brenda: The bathroom sink is full of whiskers.
me: I'd scarcely call that full. That's clearly less than 20.
Brenda: It's 20 too many.
me: What can I say? I thought it was clean. Men grow beards. Beards need trimming. It's not my fault I'm a man.
Brenda: True but it is your fault that you're still a man. We have the technology. We can rebuild him.
me: You want me to have sex change surgery.
Brenda: Not completely. Just enough estrogen to make your facial hair stop growing.
me: Be careful what you wish for. Me with PMS would not be pretty. I can throw one mean hissy fit.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Slip Slidin' Away
Why do adults get on children's slides? Compilation film of various acidents, big, small, young, and old. The fifth clip in of the guy going down the water slide head first sans kid almost gave me a brain hemorrhage from laughing. Go »The Texas Chili Cook-Off
Recently, at a Bowie Baysox baseball game, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Texas chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last minute, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans, probably) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. Go »Christmas Post #12: Sorry About That Chief
I've always been a fan of Get Smart! and the funniest running gag for me was the use of the "cone of silence". This thing called a "pentaphone isolation space" brought that immediately to mind. Go »For Your Consideration...
So many actors are on their best behaviour come Oscar time because they don't want anything to interfere with their chances to win in this rare opportunity. The rarest of opportunities occurs this year for Mickey Rourke who is not exactly on a first name basis with Oscar nominations. And may never be there again. Go »Christmas Post #4: I Want A Piece Of Uranus
A former boss of mine once said something similar to me but not in those exact words. This site claims to be selling the planet Uranus. The text is presented very tongue in cheek but they do appear to be actually selling stuff; bumper stickers and mousepads that claim "I own Uranus". Go »
