Public Service Announcement
by Steve West on July 20, 2009
For those of you who will be pulled over by the police and asked the inevitable question, "Because I'm smokin' hot" is not the correct answer to "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Live and learn.
Twelve Replies to Public Service Announcement
Scott Hardie | July 20, 2009
What about the appropriate obscene slurs to drunkenly shout as you're being handcuffed? Can you help me with those?
Steve West | July 20, 2009
The following have never worked for me:
1. You're embarassing the other Village People!
2. No, YOU assume the position!
3. Don't break my crack pipe!
Jackie Mason | July 20, 2009
[hidden by author request]
Lori Lancaster | July 20, 2009
[hidden by author request]
Jackie Mason | July 21, 2009
[hidden by author request]
Steve West | July 29, 2009
In my world, when a cop gave you a ticket, every smart ass remark you made would actually reduce the fine.
Cop: You know how fast you were going?
Steve: Damn fast. I was spillin' my beer everywhere!
Cop: Nice. That's $10.00 off the fine.
Scott Hardie | July 29, 2009
Conversely, would you increase your fine by being deadly serious about the situation? Because I think Henry Louis Gates would have to take out a second mortgage.
Amy Austin | July 29, 2009
LOL!!!
Steve West | July 28, 2010
Bad responses cont'd:
A policeman pulled me over recently and during our chat he claimed that my eyes were looking a little red. Was I high on something?
I was just tired and this was partly responsible for me responding with, "Your eyes look a little glazed officer. Have you been eating donuts?"
He let me off with a warning but I swear I saw his hand reaching for the taser.
Tony Peters | July 28, 2010
I was once pulled over sweaty, half in my Gi, carrying a sword on my way home from class.....I was told that I looked nervous sweating....I told him no I haven't been drinking but if he'd like I'd be happy to cut the next drunk they found in half....the white cop was a bit freaked the half hawaiian/Japanese cop smiled and said to have a nice night and clean the sweat off my sword
I was pulled over twice last year once for 29mph in a school zone (I escaped with court costs because I was polite (it was also 20 degrees and I was on my motorcycle)) the second time was days after I bought my truck....I honestly wasn't used to driving at that point and was doing 47 in a 35 zone....however I had a veterans plate....the kind officer was more interested in knowing that the plate was mine ( I showed him my retired ID) and asking me to keep my speed less that 10 over...I don't speed anymore
Scott Hardie | September 15, 2010
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
What Goes Up...
Lauren and I went on that rock climbing event that she won during daddy/daughter bingo night. I corresponded with her principal, a nice guy who does this often. I asked him what I needed to bring besides bandages and his only recommendation was loose clothing. Go »Flotsam & Jetsam
I always wanted to use that phrase. Crazy ticketers in England. Which anniversary is it appropriate to celebrate at this restaurant? Go »One From Column A & Two From Column B
Serve yourself. Remember those "Fold-ins" from Mad Magazine? Here they are. Go »Not All Heroes Wear Capes
At 11:00 a.m., Brenda called me from the school where she works and told me that she had fallen and was unable to drive home. She needed me to 1) find a second driver for her car, 2) come get her and take her to urgent care and 3) make sure that Olivia is taken care of when she arrives home in an hour. Go »Who Needs a Karate Ghi?
Have you ever been in a position where you've had to choose between designer jeans or practicing jujutsu? Now your problems have been solved! You can have both. Go »
Amy Austin | July 20, 2009
Seriously?