Public Service Announcement
by Steve West on July 20, 2009
For those of you who will be pulled over by the police and asked the inevitable question, "Because I'm smokin' hot" is not the correct answer to "Do you know why I pulled you over?" Live and learn.
Twelve Replies to Public Service Announcement
Scott Hardie | July 20, 2009
What about the appropriate obscene slurs to drunkenly shout as you're being handcuffed? Can you help me with those?
Steve West | July 20, 2009
The following have never worked for me:
1. You're embarassing the other Village People!
2. No, YOU assume the position!
3. Don't break my crack pipe!
Jackie Mason | July 20, 2009
[hidden by author request]
Lori Lancaster | July 20, 2009
[hidden by author request]
Jackie Mason | July 21, 2009
[hidden by author request]
Steve West | July 29, 2009
In my world, when a cop gave you a ticket, every smart ass remark you made would actually reduce the fine.
Cop: You know how fast you were going?
Steve: Damn fast. I was spillin' my beer everywhere!
Cop: Nice. That's $10.00 off the fine.
Scott Hardie | July 29, 2009
Conversely, would you increase your fine by being deadly serious about the situation? Because I think Henry Louis Gates would have to take out a second mortgage.
Amy Austin | July 29, 2009
LOL!!!
Steve West | July 28, 2010
Bad responses cont'd:
A policeman pulled me over recently and during our chat he claimed that my eyes were looking a little red. Was I high on something?
I was just tired and this was partly responsible for me responding with, "Your eyes look a little glazed officer. Have you been eating donuts?"
He let me off with a warning but I swear I saw his hand reaching for the taser.
Tony Peters | July 28, 2010
I was once pulled over sweaty, half in my Gi, carrying a sword on my way home from class.....I was told that I looked nervous sweating....I told him no I haven't been drinking but if he'd like I'd be happy to cut the next drunk they found in half....the white cop was a bit freaked the half hawaiian/Japanese cop smiled and said to have a nice night and clean the sweat off my sword
I was pulled over twice last year once for 29mph in a school zone (I escaped with court costs because I was polite (it was also 20 degrees and I was on my motorcycle)) the second time was days after I bought my truck....I honestly wasn't used to driving at that point and was doing 47 in a 35 zone....however I had a veterans plate....the kind officer was more interested in knowing that the plate was mine ( I showed him my retired ID) and asking me to keep my speed less that 10 over...I don't speed anymore
Scott Hardie | September 15, 2010
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
Steve's Supermarket Adventure
Or...How I Tried To Get Myself Banned From Safeway Shopping at my local Safeway is usually a pleasant experience. Few crowds at 10:00 at night, plenty of quality choices, reasonable pricing, etc. Go »Technically We're Both Right
Recent encounter at my local deli: Me: (signaling my server) Excuse me, this is an egg salad sandwich. Server: Yes, bon appétit. Me: But I ordered a chicken salad sandwich. Go »Breakfast Becomes Dessert
Recently, Brenda and I had breakfast at a local diner because they have a fairly low age requirement (55) to get the "senior special". For $4.00 you get 2 eggs, bacon, hash browns and toast. Go »Strange Dreams
I dreamt that I had died and gone to Heaven. Brenda lived a few more years and then she passed. When she got to Heaven, she saw me and ran to me with open arms saying how much she had missed me. Go »Halloween Post #7: Scary Movies
Movie moments are still stuck in my head from films I saw 30 years ago, moments that scared the crap out of me then and still run chills down my spine today. This web page has collected 100 of these scary film moments and tried to supply a Youtube clip for each one (not successful) and some interesting commentary. This site might hold you until Halloween. Go »
Amy Austin | July 20, 2009
Seriously?