Just a few things that I would have liked to have said if I could have gotten a word in edgewise:

- Yes, there is a strong correlation between ultra-processed food and obesity, but so far, no causal connection has been proven.

- No, organic produce is not *all* covered in pesticides anyway, although some is farmed using non-synthetic pesticide and some winds up exposed to synthetic pesticide anyway for a variety of reasons.

- Bill Gates promotes and invests in soy-based meat replacements because he believes that soy products are better for the environment and for human health. He does not do so because soy contains estrogen, which makes people compliant and easier to dominate, which will ease his takeover of the U.S. economy.

- The U.S. abandoned the gold standard because of its inflexibility in times of crisis, not because certain banking elites wanted control of the U.S. economy for themselves.

- The proportionate size of certain bankers' investments in the Federal Reserve System does not give them any greater control of the system over other regional banks. There is no secret cabal in charge of the Fed, nor will I find proof of this non-existent secret cabal's connections to Israel if I "just look it up."

- The Jews did not kill John F. Kennedy.

- The Fed does not print money in order to keep us all in debt so that we will be required to work in order to produce more capital for the rich and powerful, nor does the Fed create $1.25 of debt for every $1 that it prints.

- Schools do not require students to stand up, sit down, be quiet, request permission to speak, and so on in order to turn them into compliant future slaves. Schools require this out of the self-evident necessity of an orderly classroom.

- The teaching of cursive in public schools has not been eliminated so that Americans cannot read the original Constitution and thus not understand their rights when the country is soon taken over.

- This collapse of society was not "all planned in advance" in 1944 when the International Monetary Fund was established.

- My mind will not be blown if I look up "the actual cause of all of the plane crashes happening lately."


Five Replies to Open Letter to a Lab Technician at Manatee Memorial Hospital

Scott Hardie | February 17, 2025
P.S. The thing that you were mad about but couldn't remember the name of was quantitative easing.

Aaron Shurtleff | March 7, 2025
Holy cow! I feel like most of the time when I see my doctor, I barely have time to discuss my actual medical issues, much less get into these kinds of (what sound like) in-depth discussions.

Scott Hardie | March 8, 2025
This was a lab technician. It took him maybe 20-25 minutes to hook me up to a lot of sensors and electrodes, so there was plenty of time. I made the (innocent?) mistake of egging him on a little at the beginning by agreeing with him about ultra-processed food, but after that he was off to the races by himself and I wasn't able to get an opening, nor did I really want one. The only restraint that he showed was backing off from the antisemitism after one mention of "Israeli bankers" when it was clear that I was uncomfortable with that, but apparently I wasn't giving clear uncomfortable-with-all-of-this vibes. :-\

Evie Totty | March 8, 2025
Good God.

Erik Bates | March 9, 2025
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Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Solitaire

Right now, I don't think I could write emotionally about my feelings from last night as well as I could have in the moment, but I haven't finished considering them and this is a part of that process. Long story short, I found myself passing on friends who really wanted to spend time with me in order to sit here and write code for Celebrity Goo Game, and I came to question what the hell I was doing. As in, my whole lifestyle. Go »

Jeffrey Katzenberg is a Crazy Person

I'm no fan of 3-D. I have lazy eye, which makes my right eye blurry and my left eye sharp. During a normal movie, I usually sit up front to be absorbed in the picture so that it doesn't matter, or if I sit in the back, I can concentrate to correct my vision. Go »

Party Time, Excellent

I rarely enjoy going to parties and I never drink, so it has come as a surprise to me that I have lately developed a love of hosting parties where friends drink. Kelly and I have thrown three parties in three months, each with around 20-25 guests: A Labor Day cookout with swimming in the pool, a Halloween party with costumes and horror games, and a Christmas party with a gift swap. I think we're done for a little while, just to give ourselves a break, because it takes a lot of cleaning and shopping and preparing to throw parties like this. Go »

Lars and the Ripoff

I'm sure that Lars and the Real Girl is a good movie and that Ryan Gosling is Oscar-worthy, yadda yadda. But will the bloggers out there spreading the word please stop acting like it's such an original premise to have an adult treat a life-size doll like a real person? In the past few years alone, I've watched indie movies May and Love Object cover the same ground, with Dummy skirting closeby, and those are only a few examples; plenty more exist through the years. Go »

White Christmas

We're enjoying our winter vacation in central Illinois so far. Tue 12/22 - When you're hitting the road for your vacation right after work is over, every extra minute feels like an hour, which means I did 45 hours of overtime. The drive was easier than we thought, probably because we had days to prepare this time. Go »

Things You Realize at the Top of a 40-Story Ferris Wheel

Kelly and I just got back from a two-day getaway to Orlando to celebrate our anniversary. No theme parks; we've been to them many times and they're jammed with people right now anyway. We tried small local attractions instead. Go »