Just a few things that I would have liked to have said if I could have gotten a word in edgewise:

- Yes, there is a strong correlation between ultra-processed food and obesity, but so far, no causal connection has been proven.

- No, organic produce is not *all* covered in pesticides anyway, although some is farmed using non-synthetic pesticide and some winds up exposed to synthetic pesticide anyway for a variety of reasons.

- Bill Gates promotes and invests in soy-based meat replacements because he believes that soy products are better for the environment and for human health. He does not do so because soy contains estrogen, which makes people compliant and easier to dominate, which will ease his takeover of the U.S. economy.

- The U.S. abandoned the gold standard because of its inflexibility in times of crisis, not because certain banking elites wanted control of the U.S. economy for themselves.

- The proportionate size of certain bankers' investments in the Federal Reserve System does not give them any greater control of the system over other regional banks. There is no secret cabal in charge of the Fed, nor will I find proof of this non-existent secret cabal's connections to Israel if I "just look it up."

- The Jews did not kill John F. Kennedy.

- The Fed does not print money in order to keep us all in debt so that we will be required to work in order to produce more capital for the rich and powerful, nor does the Fed create $1.25 of debt for every $1 that it prints.

- Schools do not require students to stand up, sit down, be quiet, request permission to speak, and so on in order to turn them into compliant future slaves. Schools require this out of the self-evident necessity of an orderly classroom.

- The teaching of cursive in public schools has not been eliminated so that Americans cannot read the original Constitution and thus not understand their rights when the country is soon taken over.

- This collapse of society was not "all planned in advance" in 1944 when the International Monetary Fund was established.

- My mind will not be blown if I look up "the actual cause of all of the plane crashes happening lately."


Five Replies to Open Letter to a Lab Technician at Manatee Memorial Hospital

Scott Hardie | February 17, 2025
P.S. The thing that you were mad about but couldn't remember the name of was quantitative easing.

Aaron Shurtleff | March 7, 2025
Holy cow! I feel like most of the time when I see my doctor, I barely have time to discuss my actual medical issues, much less get into these kinds of (what sound like) in-depth discussions.

Scott Hardie | March 8, 2025
This was a lab technician. It took him maybe 20-25 minutes to hook me up to a lot of sensors and electrodes, so there was plenty of time. I made the (innocent?) mistake of egging him on a little at the beginning by agreeing with him about ultra-processed food, but after that he was off to the races by himself and I wasn't able to get an opening, nor did I really want one. The only restraint that he showed was backing off from the antisemitism after one mention of "Israeli bankers" when it was clear that I was uncomfortable with that, but apparently I wasn't giving clear uncomfortable-with-all-of-this vibes. :-\

Evie Totty | March 8, 2025
Good God.

Erik Bates | March 9, 2025
[hidden by author request]


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Gingerbread Office

I don't often join in Kelly's craft projects, and it's even rarer for her to join in one of mine. But that's what happened last week when my company held a gingerbread house contest, and Kelly pitched in to help the team that I signed up for. We decided to make a "north pole branch" of our Sarasota office. Go »

Difficult Should Be a Walk in the Park

They say that a bone marrow biopsy is the most painful kind of biopsy that you can get, but I found one that's worse: Starting a bone marrow biopsy, stopping partway through because the power went out, lying there for thirty minutes until the lights come back on, then resetting and starting all over again from the beginning. Zero stars, would not recommend. I'm hobbling around today. Go »

The Importance of Being Richard

A conversation drifted today into weird shortening of names, like Robert into Bob and William into Bill (how come Michael doesn't become Bike?), and inevitably Richard into Dick came up. How did that even happen, anyway? Go »

So Tired

Just need to vent. I worked until 2am last Sunday night, writing a document for work. This writing is by far the most miserable task at my company, and this particular instance of it was extra-complicated. Go »

Very Unique

If you're going to write on your resumé that you're an "exceptional team player," you'd better be prepared to explain during your interview how that's possible. Go »

Irresistible

When I saw this poster at the movie theater, I wondered: Is that a coming attraction, or did I step into a mirror universe where that poster has nothing to do with a movie? Go »