Just a few things that I would have liked to have said if I could have gotten a word in edgewise:

- Yes, there is a strong correlation between ultra-processed food and obesity, but so far, no causal connection has been proven.

- No, organic produce is not *all* covered in pesticides anyway, although some is farmed using non-synthetic pesticide and some winds up exposed to synthetic pesticide anyway for a variety of reasons.

- Bill Gates promotes and invests in soy-based meat replacements because he believes that soy products are better for the environment and for human health. He does not do so because soy contains estrogen, which makes people compliant and easier to dominate, which will ease his takeover of the U.S. economy.

- The U.S. abandoned the gold standard because of its inflexibility in times of crisis, not because certain banking elites wanted control of the U.S. economy for themselves.

- The proportionate size of certain bankers' investments in the Federal Reserve System does not give them any greater control of the system over other regional banks. There is no secret cabal in charge of the Fed, nor will I find proof of this non-existent secret cabal's connections to Israel if I "just look it up."

- The Jews did not kill John F. Kennedy.

- The Fed does not print money in order to keep us all in debt so that we will be required to work in order to produce more capital for the rich and powerful, nor does the Fed create $1.25 of debt for every $1 that it prints.

- Schools do not require students to stand up, sit down, be quiet, request permission to speak, and so on in order to turn them into compliant future slaves. Schools require this out of the self-evident necessity of an orderly classroom.

- The teaching of cursive in public schools has not been eliminated so that Americans cannot read the original Constitution and thus not understand their rights when the country is soon taken over.

- This collapse of society was not "all planned in advance" in 1944 when the International Monetary Fund was established.

- My mind will not be blown if I look up "the actual cause of all of the plane crashes happening lately."


Five Replies to Open Letter to a Lab Technician at Manatee Memorial Hospital

Scott Hardie | February 17, 2025
P.S. The thing that you were mad about but couldn't remember the name of was quantitative easing.

Aaron Shurtleff | March 7, 2025
Holy cow! I feel like most of the time when I see my doctor, I barely have time to discuss my actual medical issues, much less get into these kinds of (what sound like) in-depth discussions.

Scott Hardie | March 8, 2025
This was a lab technician. It took him maybe 20-25 minutes to hook me up to a lot of sensors and electrodes, so there was plenty of time. I made the (innocent?) mistake of egging him on a little at the beginning by agreeing with him about ultra-processed food, but after that he was off to the races by himself and I wasn't able to get an opening, nor did I really want one. The only restraint that he showed was backing off from the antisemitism after one mention of "Israeli bankers" when it was clear that I was uncomfortable with that, but apparently I wasn't giving clear uncomfortable-with-all-of-this vibes. :-\

Evie Totty | March 8, 2025
Good God.

Erik Bates | March 9, 2025
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Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Like That Smash Mouth Song

Dramatic photo of a shuttle docking with the International Space Station, set against the sun: (link) Thanks, Aaron W. Go »

And If You're Not Careful, You Might Learn Something

Ten things I learned from watching the entire run of The Cosby Show over the last few months on Netflix streaming: - Cliff wasn't the only one who wore wild sweaters. - Seinfeld was celebrated as the "show about nothing," but this show had even less plot. Entire episodes just riffed for twenty minutes on Vanessa fretting over a test or Theo having a crush on a girl, nothing more. Go »

OK Glass

Last weekend, Kelly and I drove up to St. Petersburg with friends to see Ira Glass present a one-man stage show explaining how he makes This American Life on the radio. I had no prior familiarity with his work, having not heard the radio show unlike the fans that I went with, but I think it's long past time that I started listening to the celebrated series online. Go »

Fossil

The soap says Cambria & Taylor. "Is that trilobite soap?" "What are you talking about?" Go »

Neighborhood Botch

I've heard that riding in the front seat of an Uber signals that you want to chat with the driver, and riding in the back seat means that you prefer silence. I always sit in the back. But when I went to catch a ride from my house the other night, there was stuff in the van's back seat, so the front was the only option. Go »

R.I.P. Pat

Kelly's mother passed away last week. The event had been anticipated for decades: Pat was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes as a child, suffered kidney failure in 1995 and survived on her brother's donated kidney, and had five strokes and five heart attacks and countless operations, including emergency brain surgery in 2007 that changed her personality. She obviously possessed quite an inner resiliency even if she seemed petite and frail on the outside, but it was inevitable that she would someday lose the fight with her own body. Go »