Just a few things that I would have liked to have said if I could have gotten a word in edgewise:

- Yes, there is a strong correlation between ultra-processed food and obesity, but so far, no causal connection has been proven.

- No, organic produce is not *all* covered in pesticides anyway, although some is farmed using non-synthetic pesticide and some winds up exposed to synthetic pesticide anyway for a variety of reasons.

- Bill Gates promotes and invests in soy-based meat replacements because he believes that soy products are better for the environment and for human health. He does not do so because soy contains estrogen, which makes people compliant and easier to dominate, which will ease his takeover of the U.S. economy.

- The U.S. abandoned the gold standard because of its inflexibility in times of crisis, not because certain banking elites wanted control of the U.S. economy for themselves.

- The proportionate size of certain bankers' investments in the Federal Reserve System does not give them any greater control of the system over other regional banks. There is no secret cabal in charge of the Fed, nor will I find proof of this non-existent secret cabal's connections to Israel if I "just look it up."

- The Jews did not kill John F. Kennedy.

- The Fed does not print money in order to keep us all in debt so that we will be required to work in order to produce more capital for the rich and powerful, nor does the Fed create $1.25 of debt for every $1 that it prints.

- Schools do not require students to stand up, sit down, be quiet, request permission to speak, and so on in order to turn them into compliant future slaves. Schools require this out of the self-evident necessity of an orderly classroom.

- The teaching of cursive in public schools has not been eliminated so that Americans cannot read the original Constitution and thus not understand their rights when the country is soon taken over.

- This collapse of society was not "all planned in advance" in 1944 when the International Monetary Fund was established.

- My mind will not be blown if I look up "the actual cause of all of the plane crashes happening lately."


Five Replies to Open Letter to a Lab Technician at Manatee Memorial Hospital

Scott Hardie | February 17, 2025
P.S. The thing that you were mad about but couldn't remember the name of was quantitative easing.

Aaron Shurtleff | March 7, 2025
Holy cow! I feel like most of the time when I see my doctor, I barely have time to discuss my actual medical issues, much less get into these kinds of (what sound like) in-depth discussions.

Scott Hardie | March 8, 2025
This was a lab technician. It took him maybe 20-25 minutes to hook me up to a lot of sensors and electrodes, so there was plenty of time. I made the (innocent?) mistake of egging him on a little at the beginning by agreeing with him about ultra-processed food, but after that he was off to the races by himself and I wasn't able to get an opening, nor did I really want one. The only restraint that he showed was backing off from the antisemitism after one mention of "Israeli bankers" when it was clear that I was uncomfortable with that, but apparently I wasn't giving clear uncomfortable-with-all-of-this vibes. :-\

Evie Totty | March 8, 2025
Good God.

Erik Bates | March 9, 2025
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Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

DMV Mystery

My last car, a 1996 Mercury, was registered in my mother's name, so every year in December (the month of her birthday), the registration sticker would be delivered to her at her house and she'd have to pass it to me to put on the license plate. No big deal. A few months ago, I bought a 2007 Dodge in my name, though she co-signed the credit application since I had no credit history. Go »

Redundancy

Can we add "information overload" to the list of phrases retired from the language due to clichéd overuse? It is apparently now used to describe anything remotely intense. Go »

Real Predictions, from a Guy Who Takes This Too Seriously

Some of my Oscar contest predictions are solely based on my odds of "winning" the contest. I'm curious to find out if what film I really think will win in certain categories comes out on top. Best Picture: Babel Best Original Screenplay: Babel Best Original Score: Babel Best Film Editing: Blood Diamond Best Costume Design: Marie Antoinette Here's looking forward to a good show tonight. Go »

The Little Ship

Our cat Sweetie Pie passed away in her sleep on Thursday night after a very long illness. We don't know how old she was -- she was my mother's cat before mine, and my grandmother's cat before that, and belonged to some other lady in my grandmother's nursing home before then. We have that stranger to thank for giving her the old-fashioned name, but it was appropriate: Sweetie Pie was a friendly cat, who was happy when company came over (especially if they fed her treats!) Go »

Snowbound

I'm off to Springfield for the weekend to help Kelly move. YAY SNOW. Back late Monday night. Go »

Signs of Summer

The recent Florida wildfires have been a nasty reminder (I drove through one burned-down forest and it was a terrible sight), but if you need any more indication that summer is here, just step outside: It's scorching. Apparently one local still didn't think it was hot enough to take precautions, as evidenced by the recent explosion in the parking lot when we pulled into a strip mall for lunch. An entire trailer had burned into ash with only a skeletal frame and two melted tires remaining. Go »