"Don't they have any funny cards here? I mean actually funny, not ha-ha the polar bear farted funny."


Three Replies to Overheard While Shopping for Birthday Cards

Jackie Mason | November 27, 2008
[hidden by author request]

Aaron Shurtleff | November 28, 2008
That's not funny at all! I'm pretty sure that I read in a magazine that W said that the main cause of global warming is polar bear farts...

Scott Hardie | November 28, 2008
I wonder how he reconciles that with intelligent design.

Jackie, we probably did discuss it. You collect good stationery (I look forward to your cards every year). Most greeting cards are just really, really awful, like they're a fallback career for people fired from the writing staff of Two and a Half Men for not being funny enough. They insult my intelligence. This sentence tickled me.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Thank You Mario! But Our Princess is in Another Castle!

(link) Go »

Blood Lines

A few weeks ago, I dropped a glass bottle of salad dressing on the kitchen floor, making the house smell like vinaigrette for a day. Today, I stepped on the last errant bit of glass hiding in a crack of tile by the corner. Better my foot than the cat's paw, I guess; I don't lick between my toes. Go »

Bogus

You know what I bet would sell really well to people who want to be hipsters and don't get it? A "Wyld Stallyns" t-shirt. Go »

The Ten Best Films of 2010 That I Saw

10) The Other Guys - An offbeat and frequently hilarious comedy seemingly performed by the seats of the actors' pants. Its randomness may turn off some, but the jokes clicked for me. How nice to have a movie so reminiscent of The Naked Gun in the year of Leslie Nielsen's passing. Go »

PIMP

Many thanks to Miah Poisson and Ines Sarante for throwing a great 30th birthday party for Miah this weekend. I don't play much Guitar Hero, but apparently I play enough to win a tournament against Miah's GH-obsessed coworkers, or maybe it's just because the game is ridiculously handicapped against experts. I'm just happy because I won a pimp stein: We ate lots of great food, had fun with karaoke, and talked until the hour was late. Go »

#FFFFFF

I love how MSNBC.com's new slogan is "A Fuller Spectrum of News," complete with online ads featuring brilliant rainbows, and yet their entire site design is plain white except for one strip of blue across the top. (link) If I didn't give up reading it years ago because the entertainment section is spoiler city, I'd give it up today because I can't stand to look at it. Go »