"Don't they have any funny cards here? I mean actually funny, not ha-ha the polar bear farted funny."


Three Replies to Overheard While Shopping for Birthday Cards

Jackie Mason | November 27, 2008
[hidden by author request]

Aaron Shurtleff | November 28, 2008
That's not funny at all! I'm pretty sure that I read in a magazine that W said that the main cause of global warming is polar bear farts...

Scott Hardie | November 28, 2008
I wonder how he reconciles that with intelligent design.

Jackie, we probably did discuss it. You collect good stationery (I look forward to your cards every year). Most greeting cards are just really, really awful, like they're a fallback career for people fired from the writing staff of Two and a Half Men for not being funny enough. They insult my intelligence. This sentence tickled me.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

What We Kept

One winter in the mid-1970s, my grandfather Donald was hospitalized with a serious infection in his foot. Being diabetic, he went out of his way for years to avoid any infections or other hazards, but his luck had run out. On Christmas Day, he was informed by the doctors that they would have to amputate his foot the next morning. Go »

Cheesed

If life is about simple pleasures, does the return of Taco Bell's chili cheese burrito qualify? I don't know if it's nationwide, but they've returned on a wave of marketing around here. It was my favorite menu item a decade ago, until lack of counter space in the kitchen eliminated chili from a supposedly "Mexican" restaurant. Go »

Head & Shoulders, Knees & Toes

You can look at this as a parody if you wish (I'm no fan of U2), but mostly it's just silly: (link) Go »

69.120.111.23

By now, we've all read the news of how the bodies of wrestler Chris Benoit and his family were found on the afternoon of June 25th. But who read the news early? Check out this Wikipedia edit which mentioned his wife's death 14 hours before the bodies were discovered. Go »

Powerless

Going without electricity in Florida can be a miserable affair. You sweat non-stop. You sleep fitfully at best, waking up in pools of your own body fluid. Go »

OK Glass

Last weekend, Kelly and I drove up to St. Petersburg with friends to see Ira Glass present a one-man stage show explaining how he makes This American Life on the radio. I had no prior familiarity with his work, having not heard the radio show unlike the fans that I went with, but I think it's long past time that I started listening to the celebrated series online. Go »