"So this guy is on a dinner date, and he has terrible gas, but he waits because he doesn't want to be embarrassed. When they get back to her house, he can't wait any longer. He desperately asks where her bathroom is, and she says first door on the left. He hurries into the first door on the right, shuts the door in the dark, rips ass for twenty seconds, then flicks on the light and discovers that he's in her parents' bedroom. And they're sitting up in bed staring at him in their pajamas."

"Ha! That's a good joke."

"That's not a joke! That guy was my best friend back home!"


Two Replies to Other Contents Under Pressure

Anna Gregoline | September 18, 2006
What an idiot - he couldn't have used the bathroom at the restaurant?

Kerry Odell | October 20, 2006
Sounds like the time my soon to be husband took me to his parents' house in the middle of the night to use the bathroom....I pleaded for the 7-11 and was sorry when I had to meet them for the first time walking through their bedroom to use the only bathroom in the house! Talk about colossal bad judgement on his part /:) Good thing they had a sense of humor, which has been passed on to my son!


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

Andy Dick Killed Phil Hartman?

How is it I'm only discovering this celebrity scandal ten years later? (link) Go »

Summer of Suck II

Science says that complaining is bad for you, but sometimes it helps me feel better, so I'm going to do it anyway. It's my blog and I can cry if I want to. Summer has arrived and I'm miserable. Go »

March 14, 1977

I hope this doesn't set a precedent for doing this on everybody's 30th birthday, or I'm going to be busy writing these for the next few years... Top Ten Reasons Denise Sawicki is Awesome 10) She wore red on her wedding day, and she looked good. 9) She doesn't just send the DVD as a surprise birthday gift. Go »

White Christmas

We're enjoying our winter vacation in central Illinois so far. Tue 12/22 - When you're hitting the road for your vacation right after work is over, every extra minute feels like an hour, which means I did 45 hours of overtime. The drive was easier than we thought, probably because we had days to prepare this time. Go »

R.I.P. Nicole

You know those memes about how 2020 just keeps getting worse by the month? I didn't like them before because it's been such a very awful and depressing year that I'm not in the mood to joke about it. And now I really don't like them, because for me, June has indeed managed to be even worse: My friend Nicole died suddenly of a stroke on Friday. Go »

WGW: If It's Good Enough for Dan Marino, It's Good Enough for Me

This is more like Weight-Gain Wednesday after a week and a half with Kelly, bouncing around Sarasota restaurants and Disney World. No matter how many thousands of calories I burned walking around that theme park for three days, I'm sure I consumed twice as many, and that was just in fudge from the Main Street Confectionery. Now that I'm back and I've done some very scientific research – asking a friend whether she hated one – I have chosen NutriSystem over Medifast as the exclusive supplier of my every meal. Go »