I dreamt that I had died and gone to Heaven. Brenda lived a few more years and then she passed. When she got to Heaven, she saw me and ran to me with open arms saying how much she had missed me. I stopped her short and said, "Woah. I vowed till death do us part." I woke and decided not to share that with her and mentally apologized.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Just In Time For Voting

Although I'm partial to the Aaron v. Steve Dunn tête-à-têtes, it seems ironic that UOAS took the opportunity to push for a vote. Despicable. Go »

Just As I Suspected...

A panel of experts (a group of listeners to Britain's BBC 6) have determined the worst duet in history. Obviously this group has no credentials or necessarily any credibility and history is such a long time. But that's a pretty good vote if schmaltz makes a song bad. Go »

Welcome To Steve's World

Is anyone else offended by the automatic deodorizing spray dispenser in public bathrooms? It offends me when I’m standing at the urinal and that’s when it decides to spritz. Like it’s somehow recognized that an emergency deodorizing event is occurring and needs attention. Go »

What Should We Name The Band?

Article offering very good advice on what not to do when choosing a name for your rock band. Go »

Halloween Is For The Dogs

Last year for Halloween, I took all of Lauren's stuffed dogs and sewed their mouths to parts of my shirt and pants (with fake bleeding cuts on my arms and face) and went as an attack dog trainer. This year, I need to adopt or at least rent a dog so I can dress it like this for Halloween. Holy Kibbles & Bits Or this... Go »

I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!

My toaster has a timer on it that let's you know when it's finished. It seems a little silly to add a timer beeping that's a redundant addition to the toast loudly popping up from the machine that means the same thing. So now, because the timer emits a sound eerily similar to an EKG indicating flatline, every time it goes off I'll say to Brenda, "He's bread, Jim." Go »