During my visit to Springfield last weekend, Kelly and I went to a historical reenactment on the outskirts of town. Every small city that can do so builds shrines to its homegrown celebrity, but Springfield takes worship of Abraham Lincoln to new levels of ridiculousness. Besides the museum with the ordinary tools used by Lincoln during his early twenties, the historical community had the actual buildings he slept in and worked in. Here's where Abraham Lincoln owned his first business! Here's where he first arrived in Springfield! Woo.

Clearly, Kelly and I need to build our own village and charge admission. Here's where Abraham Lincoln invented the Internet! Here's where Abraham Lincoln defeated Hitler! Here's where Abraham Lincoln produced Let It Be! Here's where Abraham Lincoln taught Copernicus! Here's where Abraham Lincoln built the first mecha!

Kelly, thank you for showing me a great time around town. Next time, you visit Sarasota and I'll show how much John Ringling is worshiped around here.


Six Replies to Abe, Honest

Amy Austin | October 16, 2007
Ha! Just last week, Stephen Colbert was touting Reagan in the time of Lincoln...

the Reagan commemorative coin

Maybe he had just visited Springfield, too.

Lori Lancaster | October 16, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Amy Austin | October 16, 2007
The darkest blonde I know. ;-)

Jackie Mason | October 17, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Lori Lancaster | October 17, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Kris Weberg | October 23, 2007
Try growing up there, Scott.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

February 10-16

I don't really blog much about my day-to-day existence because it feels too mundane. But life is made up of those little days, and we don't get an accurate picture of each other's lives if we only discuss the big events. Here's a snapshot of my life last week. Go »

R.I.P. Mom

You were so still in your bed when I could finally sit down beside you, a few hours after the facility notified me that you had died. I hadn't seen you be that peaceful in years, your eyes not scanning the room for clues, your hands not turning over each object in front of you for endlessly repeated examination. I whispered to you the most urgent and most precious things I had to say, the secrets and atonements and wishes foremost on my mind. Go »

Fun with Vacation Planning

I think I have discovered a new interest: Vacation planning. Most people enjoy daydreaming about possible future trips, but not everybody enjoys working out the fine nitty-gritty details of every last part of the trip. I have found that I do. Go »

Revisiting Survivor: Australia

Since I'm a fan of Survivor and I missed the first halves of early seasons when they aired, lately I've rented them on DVD to see what I missed. And it's given me an opportunity to reflect on how the show has changed over twelve seasons. The first two seasons had a special quality that has largely been missing every since, which is the genuineness of the cast. Go »

Scary Mary

New horror film? Thanks, Jon. Go »

Where the Hell I Have Been All Year, Part I

It's been a long hibernation and I'm ready to come out of the cave and see daylight again. For various reasons, I wouldn't talk about why I wasn't around much, and I didn't enjoy being secretive like that, especially since all three were sources of happiness for me. Anyway, I promised recently that I was about to come out of the closet concerning the three things that have occupied so much of my 2006, and it's time now. Go »