During my visit to Springfield last weekend, Kelly and I went to a historical reenactment on the outskirts of town. Every small city that can do so builds shrines to its homegrown celebrity, but Springfield takes worship of Abraham Lincoln to new levels of ridiculousness. Besides the museum with the ordinary tools used by Lincoln during his early twenties, the historical community had the actual buildings he slept in and worked in. Here's where Abraham Lincoln owned his first business! Here's where he first arrived in Springfield! Woo.

Clearly, Kelly and I need to build our own village and charge admission. Here's where Abraham Lincoln invented the Internet! Here's where Abraham Lincoln defeated Hitler! Here's where Abraham Lincoln produced Let It Be! Here's where Abraham Lincoln taught Copernicus! Here's where Abraham Lincoln built the first mecha!

Kelly, thank you for showing me a great time around town. Next time, you visit Sarasota and I'll show how much John Ringling is worshiped around here.


Six Replies to Abe, Honest

Amy Austin | October 16, 2007
Ha! Just last week, Stephen Colbert was touting Reagan in the time of Lincoln...

the Reagan commemorative coin

Maybe he had just visited Springfield, too.

Lori Lancaster | October 16, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Amy Austin | October 16, 2007
The darkest blonde I know. ;-)

Jackie Mason | October 17, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Lori Lancaster | October 17, 2007
[hidden by author request]

Kris Weberg | October 23, 2007
Try growing up there, Scott.


Logical Operator

The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »

iMenus

I think we just experienced the future of restaurants. I thought that once before, and it turned out to be true, but in that case the trend was years late coming to Sarasota after large cultural centers like New York and Los Angeles. We might be a few years behind on this new trend as well, but I still see it becoming commonplace. Go »

Let the Bodies Hit the Floor

Damn it. After The Sims 2, I'm not ready for another glitch to ruin a game. Elder Scrolls IV has always been a little buggy, tending to lock up my Xbox when it gets too excited for instance. Go »

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I bet if you work in a grocery store, you spend part of the time rearranging food that you know is going to get thrown away after it doesn't sell, so you feel like you're going to a lot of trouble for nothing. That's what buying a printer feels like. I hate buying printers because I'm highly skeptical that I can find one that will still work after six months, after Kelly and I have gone through a long series of them for the last ten years that all broke down like flimsy pieces of crap. Go »

Scott's Pet Peeve #2519

Why do some microwaves have a convenient quick-start option if you press 1 or 2 or 3, so that they instantly start cooking with 1:00 or 2:00 or 3:00 on the clock... but DON'T have this same functionality programmed into 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, or 9, which do nothing when pressed alone? How does an engineer possess both the vision to provide the former and the lack of imagination that results in the latter? Go »

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Seeing a man in a kilt, the thought occurred to me, "Ha ha! I wonder if anybody has come up with 'upkilt' porn?" Then I checked online. Go »