...but also like I am simply out of tears. Heart is heavy. Eyes are dry and burning, like I've been staring into a bonfire of hell. Head hurts like I've already been at it, too. Seems that I've somehow acquired the ability to just skip right ahead to the shitty hangover part?... but it definitely lacks the much-needed emotional release. Too tired to give a shit. Too burdened not to.

Where is my fucking "easy" button???


Nocturnal e-Musings

Amy Austin counts down the days until... something... Read more »

Brutalized and Officialized...

Welp... I've been thinking about how to go about making this update for a couple of days now -- blog or TC... poll or no poll... Go »

Exhausted.

I don't remember if I made any mention here (aside from any private messages) about my grandmother's death at the end of April. It was rather sudden/unexpected, given her condition at the time... and, considering all other grief in my life at present, I took it a lot better than I ever thought I would -- I was closer to her than any other member of my family (probably true in both senses, actually). Go »

"Bambi & Thumper Need A New Home" or "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly"

Well... quite a bit has been happening with me lately, but I haven't been too keen to share for a few different reasons. One, just the mixed nature of it all makes it a little difficult for me to process -- although I am so very grateful for the good things, it also makes things pretty difficult to convey without somehow feeling rather pathetic and *un*grateful in the telling of it. Go »

There's No Place Like Home...

Another update from the Land of Oz and tornados... Apparently, I wasn't too far off in thinking that an insurance deal would be nice... they're worried about it, too. Go »

"The Human Condition"

disclaimer: This blog may be totally random -- this may, in fact, be the first and *only* entry in it -- containing, but not limited to, anything/everything/nothing about dreams... A short while ago, I awoke from a strange dream that I think must have been brought on by a combination of posts here, along with another comment read elsewhere about "rumors on the Internet". Dreams, by their very nature, are extremely hard to narrate, but I will try to do so here (thus sparing E from being drafted to listen... Go »

Painful Life = Even More Painful Dreams...

I don't know if I feel quite brave or open enough (a shocking thing for me to say... at least to me, anyway) to share the raw and emotional details of the dream I had this morning, but... suffice it to say that I have enough difficulty trying to get through the heartbreak of my waking hours -- I *don't* need that shit following me to bed when I'm trying to do my best to sleep it off at night!!! Go »