...but also like I am simply out of tears. Heart is heavy. Eyes are dry and burning, like I've been staring into a bonfire of hell. Head hurts like I've already been at it, too. Seems that I've somehow acquired the ability to just skip right ahead to the shitty hangover part?... but it definitely lacks the much-needed emotional release. Too tired to give a shit. Too burdened not to.

Where is my fucking "easy" button???


Nocturnal e-Musings

Amy Austin counts down the days until... something... Read more »

...and the computer gods said, "Let there be light!"

I'm too all over the place with visiting, housecleaning and sporadically surfing the Net while getting accustomed to the entirely different feel of Vista to say much besides I GOT A NEW LAPTOP!!! Yes, E bought me a real nice Gateway FX laptop, and I'm feeling like I imagine it must feel to be a heroin addict in relapse -- my dealer just called me up and told me he had some *really great stuff*, and I am feeling that ecstatic comfort and joy of having "the Internets" back in my veins... ;-p Go »

Whatever Happened To Baby Haley...?

So, was watching the magically tragical Artificial Intelligence: AI tonight, when I got to wondering about the whereabouts of kid who saw dead people. Apparently, I was not alone in this musing... "My flab..." Go »

Just Die Already!

Okay... so it's finally time to write a second post. The main ingredient this time would be the recent passing of a friend with cancer (only 36). Go »

Now... Where Did I Put That Damn Zen???

Okay... one thing that's always seemed like a great idea in theory, but feels impossible in practice, is meditation. I just cannot quiet my brain... Go »

Bummer, Aaron...

I just read your last blog post, and I'm really sorry. I know you said "no reply", but I hope you won't mind my addressing you here in my own blog... so far only seemingly reserved for similarly worrisome topics. Go »

Painful Life = Even More Painful Dreams...

I don't know if I feel quite brave or open enough (a shocking thing for me to say... at least to me, anyway) to share the raw and emotional details of the dream I had this morning, but... suffice it to say that I have enough difficulty trying to get through the heartbreak of my waking hours -- I *don't* need that shit following me to bed when I'm trying to do my best to sleep it off at night!!! Go »