...but also like I am simply out of tears. Heart is heavy. Eyes are dry and burning, like I've been staring into a bonfire of hell. Head hurts like I've already been at it, too. Seems that I've somehow acquired the ability to just skip right ahead to the shitty hangover part?... but it definitely lacks the much-needed emotional release. Too tired to give a shit. Too burdened not to.

Where is my fucking "easy" button???


Nocturnal e-Musings

Amy Austin counts down the days until... something... Read more »

"Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid/Unspoken"

At least... that's what I always hear. It's a rule that was invented to protect *everyone*, I'm sure, but it seems like I am *always* on "the poop end" of that stick! Go »

Painful Life = Even More Painful Dreams...

I don't know if I feel quite brave or open enough (a shocking thing for me to say... at least to me, anyway) to share the raw and emotional details of the dream I had this morning, but... suffice it to say that I have enough difficulty trying to get through the heartbreak of my waking hours -- I *don't* need that shit following me to bed when I'm trying to do my best to sleep it off at night!!! Go »

...and the computer gods said, "Let there be light!"

I'm too all over the place with visiting, housecleaning and sporadically surfing the Net while getting accustomed to the entirely different feel of Vista to say much besides I GOT A NEW LAPTOP!!! Yes, E bought me a real nice Gateway FX laptop, and I'm feeling like I imagine it must feel to be a heroin addict in relapse -- my dealer just called me up and told me he had some *really great stuff*, and I am feeling that ecstatic comfort and joy of having "the Internets" back in my veins... ;-p Go »

Bummer, Aaron...

I just read your last blog post, and I'm really sorry. I know you said "no reply", but I hope you won't mind my addressing you here in my own blog... so far only seemingly reserved for similarly worrisome topics. Go »

Still in Kansas, Thankfully (or North Carolina, anyway!)

Apparently, a tornado hit Maysville, NC Sunday, missing "my" house (or Ed's, with a lot of my things still in it) by about a mile. Used to browse that store for good junk! Go »

More Sleep Torture... Should Be Unconstitutional

So it appears that along with everything else that resembles last winter too strongly for my liking... my sleep patterns have once again deteriorated very badly. I already don't get good quality sleep due to stress and having upstairs neighbors (a situation, believe it or not, that I do not recall ever suffering through before now) -- but now, with emotionally induced insomnia and falling temperatures, I try really hard to fight falling asleep at inappropriate times (e.g., Go »