...but also like I am simply out of tears. Heart is heavy. Eyes are dry and burning, like I've been staring into a bonfire of hell. Head hurts like I've already been at it, too. Seems that I've somehow acquired the ability to just skip right ahead to the shitty hangover part?... but it definitely lacks the much-needed emotional release. Too tired to give a shit. Too burdened not to.

Where is my fucking "easy" button???


Nocturnal e-Musings

Amy Austin counts down the days until... something... Read more »

...and the computer gods said, "Let there be light!"

I'm too all over the place with visiting, housecleaning and sporadically surfing the Net while getting accustomed to the entirely different feel of Vista to say much besides I GOT A NEW LAPTOP!!! Yes, E bought me a real nice Gateway FX laptop, and I'm feeling like I imagine it must feel to be a heroin addict in relapse -- my dealer just called me up and told me he had some *really great stuff*, and I am feeling that ecstatic comfort and joy of having "the Internets" back in my veins... ;-p Go »

Exhausted.

I don't remember if I made any mention here (aside from any private messages) about my grandmother's death at the end of April. It was rather sudden/unexpected, given her condition at the time... and, considering all other grief in my life at present, I took it a lot better than I ever thought I would -- I was closer to her than any other member of my family (probably true in both senses, actually). Go »

Just Die Already!

Okay... so it's finally time to write a second post. The main ingredient this time would be the recent passing of a friend with cancer (only 36). Go »

Still in Kansas, Thankfully (or North Carolina, anyway!)

Apparently, a tornado hit Maysville, NC Sunday, missing "my" house (or Ed's, with a lot of my things still in it) by about a mile. Used to browse that store for good junk! Go »

There's No Place Like Home...

Another update from the Land of Oz and tornados... Apparently, I wasn't too far off in thinking that an insurance deal would be nice... they're worried about it, too. Go »

More Sleep Torture... Should Be Unconstitutional

So it appears that along with everything else that resembles last winter too strongly for my liking... my sleep patterns have once again deteriorated very badly. I already don't get good quality sleep due to stress and having upstairs neighbors (a situation, believe it or not, that I do not recall ever suffering through before now) -- but now, with emotionally induced insomnia and falling temperatures, I try really hard to fight falling asleep at inappropriate times (e.g., Go »