...but also like I am simply out of tears. Heart is heavy. Eyes are dry and burning, like I've been staring into a bonfire of hell. Head hurts like I've already been at it, too. Seems that I've somehow acquired the ability to just skip right ahead to the shitty hangover part?... but it definitely lacks the much-needed emotional release. Too tired to give a shit. Too burdened not to.

Where is my fucking "easy" button???


Nocturnal e-Musings

Amy Austin counts down the days until... something... Read more »

Eureka!

I am still using all of my energy just to recuperate right now and had not intended to share much in the way of details, but now that it's out there... First, my impromptu visit to see Steve and his lovely wife, Brenda. It is certainly never my intent to blindside anyone with an unexpected drop-in visit -- least of all someone I've never met before! Go »

"Bambi & Thumper Need A New Home" or "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly"

Well... quite a bit has been happening with me lately, but I haven't been too keen to share for a few different reasons. One, just the mixed nature of it all makes it a little difficult for me to process -- although I am so very grateful for the good things, it also makes things pretty difficult to convey without somehow feeling rather pathetic and *un*grateful in the telling of it. Go »

Now... Where Did I Put That Damn Zen???

Okay... one thing that's always seemed like a great idea in theory, but feels impossible in practice, is meditation. I just cannot quiet my brain... Go »

The Morton Salt Girl's Got Nothing On Me!

Except for a fucking umbrella. "When it rains, it pours..." Well, it's fucking monsoon season in my life, apparently -- I guess I should stay away from the Midwest, too. Go »

Brokeness... That's *My* Livelihood

So, yeah... this is the longest period of involuntary unemployment I've experienced in at least 20 years, I believe. But to add insult to injury... Go »

Painful Life = Even More Painful Dreams...

I don't know if I feel quite brave or open enough (a shocking thing for me to say... at least to me, anyway) to share the raw and emotional details of the dream I had this morning, but... suffice it to say that I have enough difficulty trying to get through the heartbreak of my waking hours -- I *don't* need that shit following me to bed when I'm trying to do my best to sleep it off at night!!! Go »