Nocturnal e-Musings
by Amy Austin
Amy Austin counts down the days until... something...
Life Is Killing Me
Not softly, no song, and I'm pretty fed up with it. Go »I Feel Like My Head Is Going To Explode...
With all the stuff that's swimming around in it. Go »Hard Up For A Laugh...
Lest anyone think I am only doom and gloom (yes, I have been accused in the past... both outright and subtly), I just wanted to share an example of an average e-mail catching up with my "bestie" (*giving up on resisting the trendy vocab, despite sounding thirteen when using it*). Yes... Go »Now... Where Did I Put That Damn Zen???
Okay... one thing that's always seemed like a great idea in theory, but feels impossible in practice, is meditation. I just cannot quiet my brain... Go »Must Love Dogs
Someone I know (I guess you could say "a friend") who's been trying to break into politics for the last six months or so (starting with a mayoral race, lol) recently asked me (via Facebook chat) how I was doing (hadn't seen or talked to him in months). This is pretty much how that went: Mayor McCheese: So how's it going? Me: Shitty. Go »Brutalized and Officialized...
Welp... I've been thinking about how to go about making this update for a couple of days now -- blog or TC... poll or no poll... Go »Feeling Like Crying...
...but also like I am simply out of tears. Heart is heavy. Go »"Bambi & Thumper Need A New Home" or "The Good, The Bad and The Ugly"
Well... quite a bit has been happening with me lately, but I haven't been too keen to share for a few different reasons. One, just the mixed nature of it all makes it a little difficult for me to process -- although I am so very grateful for the good things, it also makes things pretty difficult to convey without somehow feeling rather pathetic and *un*grateful in the telling of it. Go »FML!!!
Every time I try to (optimistically) think that things can't get any worse... I am proven wrong. Tonight, both of my dogs seemed fine when I let them back inside. Go »"Some Things Are Better Left Unsaid/Unspoken"
At least... that's what I always hear. It's a rule that was invented to protect *everyone*, I'm sure, but it seems like I am *always* on "the poop end" of that stick! Go »Brokeness... That's *My* Livelihood
So, yeah... this is the longest period of involuntary unemployment I've experienced in at least 20 years, I believe. But to add insult to injury... Go »Whatever Happened To Baby Haley...?
So, was watching the magically tragical Artificial Intelligence: AI tonight, when I got to wondering about the whereabouts of kid who saw dead people. Apparently, I was not alone in this musing... "My flab..." Go »Exhausted.
I don't remember if I made any mention here (aside from any private messages) about my grandmother's death at the end of April. It was rather sudden/unexpected, given her condition at the time... and, considering all other grief in my life at present, I took it a lot better than I ever thought I would -- I was closer to her than any other member of my family (probably true in both senses, actually). Go »Eureka!
I am still using all of my energy just to recuperate right now and had not intended to share much in the way of details, but now that it's out there... First, my impromptu visit to see Steve and his lovely wife, Brenda. It is certainly never my intent to blindside anyone with an unexpected drop-in visit -- least of all someone I've never met before! Go »The Morton Salt Girl's Got Nothing On Me!
Except for a fucking umbrella. "When it rains, it pours..." Well, it's fucking monsoon season in my life, apparently -- I guess I should stay away from the Midwest, too. Go »There's No Place Like Home...
Another update from the Land of Oz and tornados... Apparently, I wasn't too far off in thinking that an insurance deal would be nice... they're worried about it, too. Go »Still in Kansas, Thankfully (or North Carolina, anyway!)
Apparently, a tornado hit Maysville, NC Sunday, missing "my" house (or Ed's, with a lot of my things still in it) by about a mile. Used to browse that store for good junk! Go »...and the computer gods said, "Let there be light!"
I'm too all over the place with visiting, housecleaning and sporadically surfing the Net while getting accustomed to the entirely different feel of Vista to say much besides I GOT A NEW LAPTOP!!! Yes, E bought me a real nice Gateway FX laptop, and I'm feeling like I imagine it must feel to be a heroin addict in relapse -- my dealer just called me up and told me he had some *really great stuff*, and I am feeling that ecstatic comfort and joy of having "the Internets" back in my veins... ;-p Go »More Sleep Torture... Should Be Unconstitutional
So it appears that along with everything else that resembles last winter too strongly for my liking... my sleep patterns have once again deteriorated very badly. I already don't get good quality sleep due to stress and having upstairs neighbors (a situation, believe it or not, that I do not recall ever suffering through before now) -- but now, with emotionally induced insomnia and falling temperatures, I try really hard to fight falling asleep at inappropriate times (e.g., Go »Painful Life = Even More Painful Dreams...
I don't know if I feel quite brave or open enough (a shocking thing for me to say... at least to me, anyway) to share the raw and emotional details of the dream I had this morning, but... suffice it to say that I have enough difficulty trying to get through the heartbreak of my waking hours -- I *don't* need that shit following me to bed when I'm trying to do my best to sleep it off at night!!! Go »Another Bummer... WHATIF
While I'm at it, I might as well post on the same topic that prompted me to start this blog... weird dreams. And in this particular case, *bad* dreams... Go »Bummer, Aaron...
I just read your last blog post, and I'm really sorry. I know you said "no reply", but I hope you won't mind my addressing you here in my own blog... so far only seemingly reserved for similarly worrisome topics. Go »Just Die Already!
Okay... so it's finally time to write a second post. The main ingredient this time would be the recent passing of a friend with cancer (only 36). Go »
