I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!
by Steve West on June 4, 2025

My toaster has a timer on it that let's you know when it's finished. It seems a little silly to add a timer beeping that's a redundant addition to the toast loudly popping up from the machine that means the same thing. So now, because the timer emits a sound eerily similar to an EKG indicating flatline, every time it goes off I'll say to Brenda, "He's bread, Jim."
Two Replies to I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!
Steve West | June 5, 2025
True that.
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Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

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Scott Hardie | June 5, 2025
You're lucky that it's not a smart toaster that texts you that your toast is ready, blogs about it, and then shares the blog post across all of your social media. "She cannae make much more, cap'n!"