I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!
by Steve West on June 4, 2025

My toaster has a timer on it that let's you know when it's finished. It seems a little silly to add a timer beeping that's a redundant addition to the toast loudly popping up from the machine that means the same thing. So now, because the timer emits a sound eerily similar to an EKG indicating flatline, every time it goes off I'll say to Brenda, "He's bread, Jim."
Two Replies to I'm a Doctor, Not a Kitchen Appliance!
Steve West | June 5, 2025
True that.
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Absurd One-Shots
Small collection of photos that caught my eye while surfing and gave me at least a brief chuckle. Funeral services ad in an interesting location; Signmaker with a sense of humor; British bus ad with an unfortunate exhaust pipe placement; and finally from the "How Could They Not Notice" department, a Parents Magazine cover with an even more unfortunate layout. Go »
Take Me Out...
It was baseball night in Bowie. As part of Lauren's tenth birthday celebration, we went to see the Bowie Baysox. Highlights of the evening included: Nearly getting nailed by a foul ball while distracted by getting pizza sauce off my pants. Go »
Knock Knock Knockin' On Morpheus' Door
Nestled in the arms of Hypnos, my daughter woke me with the sounds of retching. She is struggling with a very phlegmy cough that makes sleeping difficult for her and impossible for me. What with all the changing of bedding in the middle of the night, clothing, dosing with medicine, and comforting - I lost a significant amount of sleep. Go »
Hall Of Fame Ballot Contains No Rockers Or Rollers
Except for the Dave Clark Five, this year's crop of Rock-n-Roll Hall of Fame nominees are lacking something: rock-n-roll credibility. I, myself, don't feel as strongly as the sentiments expressed in this article. I'm okay with John Mellencamp being on the ballot - just wouldn't vote for him before Kiss. Go »
So, How Much Has Been Spent Saving Matt Damon?
I calculated the amount of money spent, based on movie budgets, in saving Matt Damon. I only went to 2015 because I got tired. But up to then, here's the money that's been spent. Go »
Scott Hardie | June 5, 2025
You're lucky that it's not a smart toaster that texts you that your toast is ready, blogs about it, and then shares the blog post across all of your social media. "She cannae make much more, cap'n!"