Intruder Alert
by Scott Hardie on December 31, 2006
At 5:30am I was awakened by the doorbell and the sound of someone fumbling with my door. Through the peephole, I watched a young man desperately trying to pick the deadbolt. After a couple of minutes, he gave up and stumbled off towards the other apartments. Was he:
A) an incompetent burglar?
B) a drunken neighbor who forgot which apartment was his?
C) a guy who really had to pee and didn't give a damn any more?
Ten Replies to Intruder Alert
Steve West | January 1, 2007
I'm guessing a combination of A & B - drunken burglar with a possibility of C too. I agree with Erik that a call to the police was in order, especially if another apartment was indeed burgled.
Tony Peters | January 1, 2007
NOT
that situation should have been dealt with by whipping the door open holding something threatening...sword, spear, Axe, baseball bat, or my favorite shotgun. If he's trying to pick a lot he's a burglar regardless if he succeeds the act of using lockpicks on a lock not your own without the permission of the owner constitutes Attempted Burglary in mosts states. punishing the incompetent and or stupid will either force him to become better of chase him into another line of work (such as dog washing). For the record we are talking about a standard Kwikset 7pin deadbolt right? Unless it's brand new or really really old they take about 20 seconds to pick any more and he's a fool.
Jackie Mason | January 1, 2007
[hidden by author request]
Scott Hardie | January 2, 2007
Well, I could tell he was trying to put something in the deadbolt and jiggle it around, but I didn't see for sure that it was a lockpick, so I should have said "open" the deadbolt instead of "pick" it. The guy could have easily been a drunken neighbor, didn't realize he was in the wrong building (they're all identical), and was confused why his key was not working in "his" door. You're all right, though; I should have called the police just to cover all the bases.
Jackie Mason | January 3, 2007
[hidden by author request]
Tony Peters | January 3, 2007
whoa that's just wrong...if I lived in a building so generic that I could mistakenly go to someone else's door it's time to MOVE. I can't think of anything that is more frightening to me that living a life that uniform.
Tony Peters | January 3, 2007
damn double posting
Anna Gregoline | January 8, 2007
Could easily be a mistaken drunken identity thing, it's certainly not cause to MOVE! Goodness. You'd hate to see some of the things I've seen in Chicago outside my window, Tony!
Denise Sawicki | January 10, 2007
I've tried the wrong door in a couple of my previous apartment buildings, without even being drunk. I guess I just wander about absentmindedly at times! One building was symmetrical inside and had a staircase near each end, and by the time I had climbed to the top I would sometimes forget which door I came in / which staircase I was on, causing a period of disorientation as I tried to figure out which way to my apartment. I haven't ever tried to jimmy the lock, though. :) That might require drunkenness.
One time I was going to check my laundry and I freaked out some lady by opening her door absently, thinking it was the laundry room. That was pretty dumb. I noticed she put a large, obvious "Welcome" sign on her door shortly after that.
Despite these troubles, I would agree with Anna that living in a series of identical buildings is hardly the worst fate in the world. :)
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »
Lars and the Ripoff
I'm sure that Lars and the Real Girl is a good movie and that Ryan Gosling is Oscar-worthy, yadda yadda. But will the bloggers out there spreading the word please stop acting like it's such an original premise to have an adult treat a life-size doll like a real person? In the past few years alone, I've watched indie movies May and Love Object cover the same ground, with Dummy skirting closeby, and those are only a few examples; plenty more exist through the years. Go »Upstream Color
Every since seeing the strange and poetic Upstream Color, I haven't been able to stop thinking about it. I highly recommend it if you're in the mood for something weird and beautiful. After a very limited theatrical release in April, it jumped straight to VOD in May, and now it's on Netflix Streaming and Amazon Instant. Go »This is Me Getting On With My Life
Any advice for a newly single guy? After five months, Denise and I are no longer seeing each other. I won't get into the causes out of respect for her point of view; let's just say she and I each wanted the other to behave differently and it wasn't going to happen. Go »Thus Spoke Jeffy
This has been around for a while I'm sure, but it's new to me and I love it: The Nietzsche Family Circus. Go »Goodbye, Kai
I've been trying to save up for a new computer for the last few years, but bigger purchases like a wedding and medical emergencies kept consuming the funds. This past weekend, I finally broke down and bought a cheap but still quite powerful Windows 7 machine on Newegg, because I could no longer stand my old Windows XP machine. How old was it? Go »
Erik Bates | January 1, 2007
[hidden by author request]