Intruder Alert
by Scott Hardie on December 31, 2006
At 5:30am I was awakened by the doorbell and the sound of someone fumbling with my door. Through the peephole, I watched a young man desperately trying to pick the deadbolt. After a couple of minutes, he gave up and stumbled off towards the other apartments. Was he:
A) an incompetent burglar?
B) a drunken neighbor who forgot which apartment was his?
C) a guy who really had to pee and didn't give a damn any more?
Ten Replies to Intruder Alert
Steve West | January 1, 2007
I'm guessing a combination of A & B - drunken burglar with a possibility of C too. I agree with Erik that a call to the police was in order, especially if another apartment was indeed burgled.
Tony Peters | January 1, 2007
NOT
that situation should have been dealt with by whipping the door open holding something threatening...sword, spear, Axe, baseball bat, or my favorite shotgun. If he's trying to pick a lot he's a burglar regardless if he succeeds the act of using lockpicks on a lock not your own without the permission of the owner constitutes Attempted Burglary in mosts states. punishing the incompetent and or stupid will either force him to become better of chase him into another line of work (such as dog washing). For the record we are talking about a standard Kwikset 7pin deadbolt right? Unless it's brand new or really really old they take about 20 seconds to pick any more and he's a fool.
Jackie Mason | January 1, 2007
[hidden by author request]
Scott Hardie | January 2, 2007
Well, I could tell he was trying to put something in the deadbolt and jiggle it around, but I didn't see for sure that it was a lockpick, so I should have said "open" the deadbolt instead of "pick" it. The guy could have easily been a drunken neighbor, didn't realize he was in the wrong building (they're all identical), and was confused why his key was not working in "his" door. You're all right, though; I should have called the police just to cover all the bases.
Jackie Mason | January 3, 2007
[hidden by author request]
Tony Peters | January 3, 2007
whoa that's just wrong...if I lived in a building so generic that I could mistakenly go to someone else's door it's time to MOVE. I can't think of anything that is more frightening to me that living a life that uniform.
Tony Peters | January 3, 2007
damn double posting
Anna Gregoline | January 8, 2007
Could easily be a mistaken drunken identity thing, it's certainly not cause to MOVE! Goodness. You'd hate to see some of the things I've seen in Chicago outside my window, Tony!
Denise Sawicki | January 10, 2007
I've tried the wrong door in a couple of my previous apartment buildings, without even being drunk. I guess I just wander about absentmindedly at times! One building was symmetrical inside and had a staircase near each end, and by the time I had climbed to the top I would sometimes forget which door I came in / which staircase I was on, causing a period of disorientation as I tried to figure out which way to my apartment. I haven't ever tried to jimmy the lock, though. :) That might require drunkenness.
One time I was going to check my laundry and I freaked out some lady by opening her door absently, thinking it was the laundry room. That was pretty dumb. I noticed she put a large, obvious "Welcome" sign on her door shortly after that.
Despite these troubles, I would agree with Anna that living in a series of identical buildings is hardly the worst fate in the world. :)
Logical Operator
The creator of Funeratic, Scott Hardie, blogs about running this site, losing weight, and other passions including his wife Kelly, his friends, movies, gaming, and Florida. Read more »
Illinois 2015
Kelly just wrapped up a weeklong conference in Chicago. I flew in to join her for a few days afterwards to visit family and friends around Illinois. Trip highlights: - Adventurous food at the state fair in Springfield: Krispy Kreme donut cheeseburger, deep-fried cheesecake on a stick, Cuban barbecue pork nachos, mmm. Go »She Can Really Whip a Donkey's Ass with a Belt
I hate the Black-Eyed Peas. You hate the Black-Eyed Peas. But Alanis Morissette really hates the Black-Eyed Peas. Go »Solitaire
Right now, I don't think I could write emotionally about my feelings from last night as well as I could have in the moment, but I haven't finished considering them and this is a part of that process. Long story short, I found myself passing on friends who really wanted to spend time with me in order to sit here and write code for Celebrity Goo Game, and I came to question what the hell I was doing. As in, my whole lifestyle. Go »Lars and the Ripoff
I'm sure that Lars and the Real Girl is a good movie and that Ryan Gosling is Oscar-worthy, yadda yadda. But will the bloggers out there spreading the word please stop acting like it's such an original premise to have an adult treat a life-size doll like a real person? In the past few years alone, I've watched indie movies May and Love Object cover the same ground, with Dummy skirting closeby, and those are only a few examples; plenty more exist through the years. Go »Humbug 4 Life
This isn't a very popular opinion these days, but it's from the heart: I'm getting terribly fed up with Christmas all around me, and being wished a merry Christmas dozens of different ways every day both verbal and non-verbal. Normally I think political correctness is a joke and the word "offended" is a thoroughly dead horse of a cliché, but I have no other word for how I feel than offended. I'm not Christian and want nothing to do with the holiday of Christmas. Go »
Erik Bates | January 1, 2007
[hidden by author request]