I showed this product to my wife and said, "If it only had a urinal, I would never leave the rec room."

"But what would you eat?", she asked.

I responded with the title of this post.

All I want for Christmas is "Final Fantasy LXVIII" and a 40.


Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

Never Volunteer, Dummy

Ever since seeing Anthony Hopkins in Magic, ventriloquists and their evil dummies have given me the creeps. This guy does as well but I laughed nonetheless. I think I could sit through his entire act but could never get past the queasiness and actually volunteer like this guy did. Go »

The Texas Chili Cook-Off

Recently, at a Bowie Baysox baseball game, I was honored to be selected as a judge at a Texas chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last minute, and I happened to be standing there at the judge’s table, asking for directions to the Coors Light truck, when the call came in. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans, probably) that the chili wouldn’t be all that spicy; and besides, they told me I could have free beer during the tasting, so I accepted and became Judge #3. Go »

What Is This, Miami Beach?

Once again, I have to preface this by saying South Dakota snow stories are much more impressive, I'm sure. But here in DC it doesn't get much heavier than this. A couple of feet in a two day period left a lot of snow to be shovelled out of the way. Go »

Anchors Aweigh

Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: (after observing me sucking in my stomach while standing on a scale) Ha! Me: What? Brenda: Sucking in your blubber won't help! Go »

Emptying My Blog Folder

Removing links like a giant hair clog. Odd little internet games. Big thumbnail list of T-shirts - a few are pretty funny. Go »

Professor's Last Lecture

If you were a college professor and had the knowledge that you had one last lecture to give. What would you say? What wisdom would you try to impart with this final opportunity? Go »