Just In Time For Voting
by Steve West on September 4, 2010

Although I'm partial to the Aaron v. Steve Dunn tête-à-têtes, it seems ironic that UOAS took the opportunity to push for a vote. Despicable.

I had an eclectic shopping list that included a sheet ice cream cake and some matzos to be used as communion wafers. The cake was for a shared birthday celebration and I requested it be decorated with the phrase "Happy Birthday Doug and Richard". It came out as "Happy Birthday Doug and Ricard". I noticed and asked that an "h" be inserted somehow. It came out looking like a rocking chair sitting on top of the "a". I was okay with it and thought it would provide a chuckle at the event.

UOAS rang up my purchases and, of course, had comments.

UOAS: That name is not spelled right - you should take it back.
Me: He actually spells his name that way. He's from France.
UOAS: Really?
Me: No, not really. He's actually a big Psycho fan. It'll look like the final "Mother" scene when we stick a big kitchen knife in it to cut it up.
UOAS: Psycho?
Me: You know, Norman Bates? Alfred Hitchcock? Tony Perkins?
UOAS: The Chipmunks?
Me: Exactly.

(On seeing the matzos) UOAS: I don't think I've ever sold these before.
Me: We're serving Communion at church tomorrow and this is what we use along with the grape juice (further down the belt).
UOAS: (spying the Sausalito cookies) Are those cookies for Communion too?
Me As a matter of fact they are. For those members who have a Communion sweet tooth.
UOAS: (bewildered pause)
Me: We're a pretty progressive church.

When, oh when, will she move to say Nebraska? Maybe I will.

Six Replies to Just In Time For Voting

Amy Austin | September 6, 2010
That's it. I'm convinced UOAS is fictional.

Matthew Preston | September 6, 2010
What? No! Finding out UOAS is fictional would be like the day I found out Kit from Knight Rider wasn't real.

Steve West | September 6, 2010
Isn't it sad when some people are that goofy that you can't believe they're real? The older I get, I'm getting that more and more with the younger people I work with when making references to music or films from my teen-age years. Although in her defense(!), I think she may have been attempting a joke. It was just delivered pretty lamely. She's definitely real.

Scott Hardie | September 6, 2010
I think the Internet is doing it to people, especially younger people. We were just talking about this with the double rainbow guy. So many things turn out to be fake these days that distrust has become default. Me, I like a good story either way.

Aaron Shurtleff | September 6, 2010
God, Matthew! It's KITT! It stands for Knight Industries Two Thousand!! Get it right!!!

And he's real!!!

Amy Austin | September 7, 2010
LOL!!!

Web Junkie

Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »

The Bus Stops Here

In Slapshot, Paul Newman encourages the minor league hockey team he captains to play like goons. The team begins to have some success and the driver of the team bus joins in the spirit of gooniness. Paul Newman approaches him while he is proceeding to smack the exterior of the bus with a sledge hammer and inquires as to what he is doing. Go »

Kinderfest

Brenda and I were going to take the girls sailing but there was rain in the forecast so we decided to put it off for a week. Rainy combined with slightly chilly (60 degrees) doesn't make for a good time outside of Wasilla. So we decided to go to Kinderfest at a local regional park. Go »

The Reunion

Have you ever been guilty of looking at others your own age and thinking, “Surely I can’t look that old?” I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma which bore his full name. Go »

Watch Your Step

Stuff I stumbled upon this week. Oldie but still funny - Go »

Special Olympics

"Special Olympics athletes are spokespersons for freedom itself - they ask for the freedom to live, the freedom to belong, the freedom to contribute, the freedom to have a chance. And, of all the values that unite and inspire us to seek a better world, no value holds a higher place than the value of freedom." - Eunice Kennedy Shriver Olivia's participation in today's Special Olympics was incredibly uplifting for me and Brenda. Go »

Post Florida is Literally Murder

Brenda and I recently returned from a wonderful week spent in Sarasota with Scott and Kelly. Lauren and her husband, Jon, were able to fly down from ND to care for Olivia while we were travelling. The trip started as a mixed bag of positives and negatives, as the people in the row in front of us spoke incessantly and at an annoyingly loud volume but the young lady who shared our row was delightful. Go »