Just In Time For Voting
by Steve West on September 4, 2010
Although I'm partial to the Aaron v. Steve Dunn tête-à-têtes, it seems ironic that UOAS took the opportunity to push for a vote. Despicable.
I had an eclectic shopping list that included a sheet ice cream cake and some matzos to be used as communion wafers. The cake was for a shared birthday celebration and I requested it be decorated with the phrase "Happy Birthday Doug and Richard". It came out as "Happy Birthday Doug and Ricard". I noticed and asked that an "h" be inserted somehow. It came out looking like a rocking chair sitting on top of the "a". I was okay with it and thought it would provide a chuckle at the event.
UOAS rang up my purchases and, of course, had comments.
UOAS: That name is not spelled right - you should take it back.
Me: He actually spells his name that way. He's from France.
UOAS: Really?
Me: No, not really. He's actually a big Psycho fan. It'll look like the final "Mother" scene when we stick a big kitchen knife in it to cut it up.
UOAS: Psycho?
Me: You know, Norman Bates? Alfred Hitchcock? Tony Perkins?
UOAS: The Chipmunks?
Me: Exactly.
(On seeing the matzos) UOAS: I don't think I've ever sold these before.
Me: We're serving Communion at church tomorrow and this is what we use along with the grape juice (further down the belt).
UOAS: (spying the Sausalito cookies) Are those cookies for Communion too?
Me As a matter of fact they are. For those members who have a Communion sweet tooth.
UOAS: (bewildered pause)
Me: We're a pretty progressive church.
When, oh when, will she move to say Nebraska? Maybe I will.
Six Replies to Just In Time For Voting
Matthew Preston | September 6, 2010
What? No! Finding out UOAS is fictional would be like the day I found out Kit from Knight Rider wasn't real.
Steve West | September 6, 2010
Isn't it sad when some people are that goofy that you can't believe they're real? The older I get, I'm getting that more and more with the younger people I work with when making references to music or films from my teen-age years. Although in her defense(!), I think she may have been attempting a joke. It was just delivered pretty lamely. She's definitely real.
Scott Hardie | September 6, 2010
I think the Internet is doing it to people, especially younger people. We were just talking about this with the double rainbow guy. So many things turn out to be fake these days that distrust has become default. Me, I like a good story either way.
Aaron Shurtleff | September 6, 2010
God, Matthew! It's KITT! It stands for Knight Industries Two Thousand!! Get it right!!!
And he's real!!!
Amy Austin | September 7, 2010
LOL!!!
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Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
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Amy Austin | September 6, 2010
That's it. I'm convinced UOAS is fictional.