Just In Time For Voting
by Steve West on September 4, 2010
Although I'm partial to the Aaron v. Steve Dunn tête-à-têtes, it seems ironic that UOAS took the opportunity to push for a vote. Despicable.
I had an eclectic shopping list that included a sheet ice cream cake and some matzos to be used as communion wafers. The cake was for a shared birthday celebration and I requested it be decorated with the phrase "Happy Birthday Doug and Richard". It came out as "Happy Birthday Doug and Ricard". I noticed and asked that an "h" be inserted somehow. It came out looking like a rocking chair sitting on top of the "a". I was okay with it and thought it would provide a chuckle at the event.
UOAS rang up my purchases and, of course, had comments.
UOAS: That name is not spelled right - you should take it back.
Me: He actually spells his name that way. He's from France.
UOAS: Really?
Me: No, not really. He's actually a big Psycho fan. It'll look like the final "Mother" scene when we stick a big kitchen knife in it to cut it up.
UOAS: Psycho?
Me: You know, Norman Bates? Alfred Hitchcock? Tony Perkins?
UOAS: The Chipmunks?
Me: Exactly.
(On seeing the matzos) UOAS: I don't think I've ever sold these before.
Me: We're serving Communion at church tomorrow and this is what we use along with the grape juice (further down the belt).
UOAS: (spying the Sausalito cookies) Are those cookies for Communion too?
Me As a matter of fact they are. For those members who have a Communion sweet tooth.
UOAS: (bewildered pause)
Me: We're a pretty progressive church.
When, oh when, will she move to say Nebraska? Maybe I will.
Six Replies to Just In Time For Voting
Matthew Preston | September 6, 2010
What? No! Finding out UOAS is fictional would be like the day I found out Kit from Knight Rider wasn't real.
Steve West | September 6, 2010
Isn't it sad when some people are that goofy that you can't believe they're real? The older I get, I'm getting that more and more with the younger people I work with when making references to music or films from my teen-age years. Although in her defense(!), I think she may have been attempting a joke. It was just delivered pretty lamely. She's definitely real.
Scott Hardie | September 6, 2010
I think the Internet is doing it to people, especially younger people. We were just talking about this with the double rainbow guy. So many things turn out to be fake these days that distrust has become default. Me, I like a good story either way.
Aaron Shurtleff | September 6, 2010
God, Matthew! It's KITT! It stands for Knight Industries Two Thousand!! Get it right!!!
And he's real!!!
Amy Austin | September 7, 2010
LOL!!!
Web Junkie
Steve West scours the Web searching for interest or absurdity and then shakes his head ruefully when he finds it. Read more »
It's The Plumber!
The punchline to the old talking parrot joke recently leaped into my mind. Lauren dropped a lipstick tube down her bathroom sink because it has nothing to cover the drain hole. That thing that goes up and down to close the sink drain isn't part of this particular sink. Go »Christmas Post #7: Coloring Crime
This website has some hilarious sections (most times intentionally, I think) offering many odd items for sale. My favorite is the Law & Order coloring book. Check out that connect the dots page - I wonder who that could be? Go »Hair's The Thing
I just got back from getting a haircut. I sat in the chair at a local salon and reminisced about my childhood and accompanying my father to his weekly hair trimmings. We went to a pretty old-fashioned Mayberry barbershop in suburban DC that was the Italian version of Floyd's. Go »Me and Al Bundy
Recently, Brenda made the mistake of asking me to fix the toilet. It seemed to have gunk in the thingy that supplies the water and would only filll if I poked it with a paper clip in the spout thingy. You can tell I'm a semi-professional because of all the technical jargon. Go »Exercise By Proxy
Recent conversation with Brenda: Brenda: I just watched a guy do 50 push-ups. Can you do that? Me: Sure. Go »
Amy Austin | September 6, 2010
That's it. I'm convinced UOAS is fictional.